Category Archive

[The Church of Zion] The congregation are gathered in front of the chancel, talking amongst themselves and eagerly anticipating the arrival of the Reverend, Lionel Troy. Suddenly, a song blasts out across the building, stopping conversations in their tracks. YOU’REEEEE. SO … Read More

[The Church of Zion] Patrons have gathered inside the nave of their hallowed sanctuary. However, the usual positive energy which traditionally exudes from every pillar and post is seemingly absent today. There is unrest amongst the populace, characterised in part … Read More

Lionel Troy does not stand in his church. He is by himself. In a broom closet. Well, not entirely by himself.  He’s got a half-finished bag of cocaine, a straw, and several lines of white powder laid across the sacred … Read More

Lionel Troy stands before his congregation. The pulpit, as always, his stage. “Ya see folks, Daddy Zion don’t want you to worry. Daddy Zion don’t want you to cry. He is your Daddy! He MADE you. He PROVIDES for you. … Read More

We hear Queen’s “Keep Yourself Alive” …but something’s off… It’s… Churchy. [The Zionists clap and dance to the song in the aisles and on the pews.] [Lionel Troy stands on stage, gyrating like a sex-crazed maniac of the Lord] “ZION … Read More

[The First Church of Zion] [An eager audience sits in the palm of Lionel Troy’s hand.] “Everyone take a look at this here passage in the Zionic Texts. Book of Heirophant, Song 4, Lyric 30.”   And the Lord Zion … Read More