“Hey, Hey!!!”
“Welcome to my Kitchen!!”
“Today, we’re going to make one of my most favorite, most scrumptious meals, passed down from generation to generation, a staple in the Jackdaw family.”
“JACKDAW STEWWWWW!!!!”
“Jackdaw Stew?”
“It’s the greatest and the tastiest of all the stews. I know what you’re thinking, we haven’t even exchanged pleasantries, but you’re willing to fill our bellies with Jackdaw Stew, Jackdaw’s FAMOUS STEW!!! How kind. I must warn you about Jackdaw stew though because it’s nothing like you’ve ever tasted before. It’s spicy. It’s dangerous. It’s sharp. It’s made with THEE best ingredients hand carved by yours truly.”
“But before being led to slaughter, the luckiest of lambs you are because your dear friend Jackdaw is giving you an almost voyeuristic, peakkkkkkkk under the curtain. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.”
“Creating Jackdaw stew isn’t easy. The process is unique. The best possibility to find the ingredients I need was just dropped in Jackdaw’s lap and when an opportunity presents itself, Jackdaw doesn’t back down.”
“Lambs To The Slaughter.”
“I know how come YOU didn’t think of that? Is it because Jackdaw is left of center? Is it because Jackdaw is wired differently? The greatest of ingredients have always been…..right…..in…. front of you but you’re not sadistic enough to see it my way. With the sharpest of instruments, I’m going to slaughter the lambs to make my famous Jackdaw stew.”
“I’ll start off with the youth from Destructo Boy. Yummy!”
“I’ll take the burned flesh from Destructo Boy’s disfigured father, Blaze, I’ll grate it up, sprinkling it into the stew.”
“I’ll remove the brain from the intelligent scientist, Doom. He won’t be needing that anymore.”
“I’ll fish hook out the eyes of Gemini and crush them into the finest of purees.”
“With all of these ingredients my stew will be complete. I appreciate how willing and able you are to help me. To give me the fruits of your hardest labor, the bones, the eyes, the flesh because without you, without each and every last one of you Jackdaw couldn’t feed you the way he’s going to feed you. Unfortunately for all of you, I will take each Lamb and I will single handedly Slaughter you all on my own.”
“This smile you see hides torment and pain.”
“Jackdaw looks at his stew, the aroma lifting through the space is like none that I’ve ever smelled before. Only a few more stirs and it will be complete.”
“Woah, woah, I know you’re all DYING to try Jackdaw Stew! It would tickle me pink to offer you a sample, but you see, I simply can’t for reasons that I’m sure you’re all aware of..”
“And I know you’re wondering why?”
“I have a secret for you.”
“Come in a little closer.”
“Because you’ll all be in it.”
“Now go ahead, give me a smile.”