The Biggest Mess of All Time

In Mr. Kleen, Promo by Mr. Kleen

Mr. Kleen is seen mopping the floor of the ACA offices. It appears to be in a unusually messy condition, with crumbs and office supplies strewn about the place. After mopping a good while, the janitor sighs and lifts up his trusted tool, speaking to it.

“Can you believe it Moppy? This Pimento Cheese Tuesday was one of the wildest we ever had!”

The mop responds with silence. The cleaner nods before taking a seat in a nearby office chair.

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe we went this crazy either. It was like we accomplished our goal of censoring Arcadia that night!”

The custodian sighs.

“It’d be nice if we did, that’s for sure. There’d be no more messes for us to clean up or human stains to wipe off the face of our world. Unfortunately, as long as OSW exists, filth will reign supreme.”

Beat.

“Those disgusting Titans make bigger messes than this on a weekly basis. Their chaos isn’t limited to Olympus either. Every single level of Arcadia is in danger of turning into a disaster like No Man’s Land.”

He shudders.

“It’s a good thing I’m still employed here and in that cursed federation. If I wasn’t around to clean up after them, who knows what kind of state we’d be in now.”

Kleen stands, cracking his gloved knuckles before getting back to work.

“Heck, thinking about it, I’m the last bastion the ACA has to bring righteousness, cleanliness, and good moral standing to the masses. I’m the last hope for a better, cleaner Arcadia.”

He dunks Moppy into the cleaning bucket before harshly rubbing it along the floor.

“The rest of the Titans will think I’m just cannon fodder, another lamb to the slaughter, if you will. They think I’ll just make a big mess that the other janitors have to wash off later. They’re wrong.”

The janitor squats down to pick up a few office supplies before putting them back on their respective desks.

“I’m not going to be like the Uprising and enter this fight solely to get my butt kicked. I’m not promising eternal salvation or damnation like Lionel and Malakai are. I’m just a man with a mission. That mission?”

He giggles a little as he stands back upright.

“To clean up the stains on society before they dirty our home more than they already have. Pandemonium is going to create one massive pile of garbage that needs to be thrown out of Olympus by the end of it anyways. I might as well lighten the workload by pitching it from the arena myself.”

With the floor looking cleaner, the cleaner sets Moppy in the cleaning cart before sitting back down to rest.

“So go ahead, bring in your biggest piles of human excrement. Make the biggest mess ever known to Arcadian history. I’ll be the one to clean it up and make it look like it never existed. Just know that no matter what happens in the chaos, my hands will remain clean.”

We cut as Kleen slumps into the chair.