“Ladies and Gentlemen”
[A spotlight pierces the darkness.]
“Welcome to the greatest show in all of Arcadia!”
[The house lights fade up and show a red and yellow surrounding, with a black circular stage in the centre. On that stage stands Klaus Way, smiling wryly.]
“No, no, no, you SILLY people, I don’t mean Pandemonium, though I have been looking forward to that too. The greatest show in Arcadia is right here, ladies and gentlemen. Put your hands together for Way & Co.’s conglomeration of oddballs, oddities and odd socks, here to do one thing and one thing only. Make you laugh! Make you CRY! Make you shudder and grin in one single swoop. Give them a round of applause!“
[Onto the stage step a couple of people you’d expect to show up at a freak show. A lady with a beard. A strongman. A couple of others that are not particularly of note. But whilst they timidly step forward, there is a distinct lack of applause, and it wrinkles the Ringmaster’s face into a short rage. The camera turns and we see that there…is no audience?]
“I thought you might react like this. I can see that you’re not impressed. Let me tell you a secret…”
[He leans forward and puts a hand up by the side of his mouth, whispering now.]
“Neither am I!”
[Back to the loud voice.]
“Pandemonium has long been a holy ground for the freaks of OSW to strut their stuff in front of a crowd, and boy are they REALLY FREAKY. Just look at last year! A doctor who thought he was a bird and a man who thought of nothing but chocolate won! They’d have made excellent additions to the troupe!”
[He drops his hands to his side, dejected, for a moment.]
“But that’s where I come in! You see, all of you foul audience creatures out there, you spend your credits each and every week to see what twisted goings-on your favourites have been getting up to. I can see the sparkle in your eyes! I WANT IT. I want all of that sparkle HERE. And that’s why Lambs to the Slaughter is the perfect AUDITION for Way & Co.! Just imagine the crowds we’ll get if I show you a serial killer who makes ART from his conquests. OH WHAT A DELIGHT! A monster of a man literally patched together by his scientist daddy! HOW IMPRESSIVE! A child in a mans body who thinks his puppets are real! SO FASCINATING! Each new entry showing us exactly what they could bring, and if they’re not good enough? ELIMINATED.“
[Klaus has perked himself back up again, his hands now gesticulating wildly.]
“I speak to you freaks directly now. None of you are lambs for the slaughter, my friends, no no. But you ARE sheep for my flock, and whilst your paying audience sing your name for now, eventually that will end, and that’s when you’ll remember. You need me. You want me. You want in. Only we understand you.“
[He holds his hands out in an embrace.]
“Welcome to the FREAK SHOW. Let us show you the Way!”
[Cut.]