I thought I was finally out.
I was on top of the world, I had everything, the world championship, the double feature championship, a group that would do anything for me.
No one could deny how much I had accomplished, no one could doubt that I deserved what I had despite my methodology of getting there.
I proved myself countless times against the strongest of men. When it was just me and the new world champion, I beat him even after I was blindsided.
I was the rare specimen that accomplished it all and got to enjoy it as she lived it.
I had finally escaped the cage of my life, the walls that were built by my mother and strengthened by Zeus.
A cage of self-doubt and delusions of incompetence. I always struggled to believe I was good enough, strong enough, smart enough, or skilled enough to deserve anything I had.
It pushed me to the point of having to fight for everything I had. I could only feel good enough when I proved to the world I was more than good enough, I was the best.
No one could take that from me, no one could destroy the legacy I formed, the Uprising I built, the pride I had finally found in myself.
No one that is, but myself.
You see the funny thing about loving yourself and feeling like you’re good enough when for years you felt the opposite, you start to feel hollow, you start to miss the old voices, you want to move on to the next thing or find a reason to try like you used to.
After all, when you have everything, what is there to strive for?
I needed to feel trapped again so I would feel the need to fight again.
I needed to feel the struggle, the chase, the hunger again.
I needed to give myself the challenge I had failed in extravagant fashion.
Zeus himself, you see love is the only cage you put yourself into.
I put so much energy to Zeus and Hydra that you saw the lack I had in the ring, lost more matches when I was champion than before I became championship.
Yet, I was feeling alive again, I had the cage I craved, I had the man I loved, and the will to fight again.
Then, you entered my life Calypso and capitalized on that want for a cage and the cage of love got replaced by a cage of fear.
Funnily, I’m not angry about it.
I want to say thank you, I lost the championship but I gained a lesson.
Don’t go back to a cage just because you enjoyed the climb out, enjoy the view at the top, savor it and enjoy the new chapter of your life.
I’m done with cages, ladders have always been nicer to me.
I’m climbing out of the cages I’ve put myself in, the cage that you put me in, and never looking back.
I know how to escape now and this week it’s for good.