Mighty Mighty - The bringer of fun #1

Quote from Mighty Mighty on 15 September 2024, 14:09Hi there, I just made my first RP so if you guys don't mind, feedback appreciated.
Hi there, I just made my first RP so if you guys don't mind, feedback appreciated.

Quote from DOOM on 15 September 2024, 20:48Welcome to OSW!
I hope you enjoyed your first OSW promo. I have a few things I hope could help...
I thought the character was good. I liked that Mighty Mighty seems to be fun loving and free. It came across well in the promo that he's a big boy with a big personality. You did a great job of that.
I thought the promo itself suffered a little bit from being a debut. I took the liberty of looking into how much you spoke about your opponent and it was only 154 words. That means you spent a very long time on scene description and character introduction, neglecting the opponent. You want to try and maximize how much you talk about the opponent. When you did discuss the opponent, it was very generic. I don't mean that offensively, it's just that outside of making it known he was Satan himself, what you said could've been about anyone on the roster.
My advice for future promos would be to look into the opponent more and think of things more direct you can say about them. Try and utilize as much of the 500 words to talk about an opponent as possible. Unless the scene description you're writing helps aid in character development or the theme of the promo, stick to focusing more on what you can say than what he does.
The formatting of the promo was a little challenging to read as well. It was awkwardly spaced and I think the name being above the text might be easier if you drop it to the front like I do.
Mighty Mighty: speech
^Something like that could be useful.
I hope all this helps.
~ Frank / DOOM
Welcome to OSW!
I hope you enjoyed your first OSW promo. I have a few things I hope could help...
I thought the character was good. I liked that Mighty Mighty seems to be fun loving and free. It came across well in the promo that he's a big boy with a big personality. You did a great job of that.
I thought the promo itself suffered a little bit from being a debut. I took the liberty of looking into how much you spoke about your opponent and it was only 154 words. That means you spent a very long time on scene description and character introduction, neglecting the opponent. You want to try and maximize how much you talk about the opponent. When you did discuss the opponent, it was very generic. I don't mean that offensively, it's just that outside of making it known he was Satan himself, what you said could've been about anyone on the roster.
My advice for future promos would be to look into the opponent more and think of things more direct you can say about them. Try and utilize as much of the 500 words to talk about an opponent as possible. Unless the scene description you're writing helps aid in character development or the theme of the promo, stick to focusing more on what you can say than what he does.
The formatting of the promo was a little challenging to read as well. It was awkwardly spaced and I think the name being above the text might be easier if you drop it to the front like I do.
Mighty Mighty: speech
^Something like that could be useful.
I hope all this helps.
~ Frank / DOOM