LESSONS OF LOVE
Special Guest Columnist, Aurora.
Hey ladies! Now, I know we’re all out here looking for L-U-R-V lurv, right? However, that doesn’t mean we’re all competition to one another. As a good gesture, allow me to bestow upon you some life wisdom from someone who has lived a lot in a little time, with 3 lessons to keep a smile on your face.
Tip number 1 – If you’re gonna let something rancid and infested inside your body, for the love of god USE PROTECTION. Sometimes, we get lonely. And desperate. And ignore more red flags than minesweeper on hard mode. However, just as I would not tightrope walk between two buildings without a safety harness, you should also prepare yourself for any eventuality.
That’s right, I’m talking condoms, femidoms, dental dams. If you’re gonna interact with something potentially diseased, rubber is your friend. You don’t wanna catch any nasties, and you DEFINITELY don’t want that kinda person to knock you up. You’ll end up with an unloved baby that is 1/3 you, 1/3 a degenerate and 1/3 gonorrhea. That’s how juggalos are made, so just stop.
Tip number 2 – learn about red flags, both to see them in potential suitors and to see them in yourself. Not everyone is ready for love, and without working on themselves they are doomed to a toxic relationship before they even show up to the first date. If one or both parties are more interested in themselves, in having power over someone else, in exploiting the other person, no good can come of it.
I have some co-workers like this, right? They broke up, literally waged war on each other. People died… And then they shacked up together again. What the fuck, right? Literally a week later, they’re bitching and whining and throwing tantrums, and you know it is only going downhill faster than grandma slipping on an escalator. When you’re honest with yourself and honest with others, you’ll also know better how to notice honesty in others.
Finally, tip number 3 – A certain degree of ignorance is bliss. Now, knowing your partner isn’t a bad thing, nor is taking an interest in their life and activities. However, you do NOT need to know everything. Wanting to know everything is an obsession, and you become so concerned with playing detective that you have no time to focus on your life, your needs or your partner’s needs.
Trusting is hard, I know this all too well. Maybe sometimes you’ll even get it wrong and get hurt. However, your entire life revolving around solving a mystery that doesn’t need to be solved is just a waste of your time, your energy and love. Living in a state of constant anxiety and paranoia is miserable, and that is not love, it is an unhealthy fixation. You don’t need to know every conversation they had at work, or everything they do with their friends. You need your sanity, so ease up a little.
Remember, love is a leap of faith. It is a risk that is worth it. Just… Make sure to wear a parachute.