OLD SCHOOL WRESTLING PRESENTS..

Lucky Break


The following interview has been transcribed by the weareosw.com team.

LUCKY CASSIDY: Welcome to Lucky Break. With War ravaging Arcadia, I’ve asked Ares to join me here today. Ares, people are dying out there, are they not? What are you and Zeus doing to protect the great people of Arcadia?

[Editor note: Ares did not like this question and after a terse exchange we cannot report here, the tone of questioning was changed in coordination with the Zeus Guard.] 

LUCKY CASSIDY: Welcome to Lucky Break. With War ravaging Arcadia, I’ve asked Ares to join me here today. Ares, what’s happening out there?

ARES: The so called Seekers are destroying Arcadia. Zeus and I are doing our level best to protect citizens that aren’t involved in the war from the fighting, but we cannot be everywhere, and skirmishes are occurring on multiple levels.

LUCKY CASSIDY: Does Zeus have any plans in mind to end this Uprising?

ARES: There is no simple solution. Jackson Cade and his band of Seekers must be stopped. All I’ll say is that I hope they’re comfortable in Deathrow because by the time this is over, if they survive, that’s where they’ll reside.

LUCKY CASSIDY: Is there no possibility of a peaceful conclusion?

ARES: Have you been out there, Cassidy? [Lucky nods.]

ARES: Then what do you think?[Gunfire erupts outside our studio. Lucky looks understandably petrified. Ares stands up immediately and walks towards the door.] And on cue...

LUCKY CASSIDY: [Nervous and stuttering] Aren’t you afraid!?

ARES: No.

[Ares left the studio to deal with the fighting, leaving Lucky to stand nervously in his wake.]

LUCKY CASSIDY: [Nervous and stuttering] That’s all folks.


Lucky Ducky

Hard times have fallen on Anton Savor’s kitchen after Warzone last week. Sources say he was spotted interviewing a line cook whose only experience is microwaving Hot Pockets.

Gravedigger is apparently refusing to be referred to as ‘The Ferryman’. Sources close to the Ferry… I mean, Gravedigger, claim that he’s going by the moniker of Valkyrie. It’s said that The Ferryman title has belonged and will belong to the deceased Tombstone.

Speaking of Gravedigger, his alignment with the Preservationists isn't a surprise to anyone, but the way he immediately targeted the leader of the Uprising, Jackson Cade, was. The new Valkyrie is ready to go scorched Arcadia to preserve the role he's inherited.

Felix Foley apparently holds no ill will towards Destructo after his actions last week. Foley knows just how much strife he’s been through and is seemingly tolerant of his lashing out.

Ares has upped the guard on Narcissa at all times. She keeps complaining of seeing a mysterious figure stalking and terrorizing her. No one else seems to have seen anything.

Narcissa's Secret hasn't announced their latest cover model, or even if they'll stay in business with the Civil War, but with their apparent alignment, perhaps Eclipse will finally do the shoot the world has been requesting.

A-Pop fans were devastated when Aurora turned to the dark side, knowing that she would never take to the stage for them. Their eyes have now turned to Wolf Fang Ayame, hoping that she'll go pop and show us her voice.

Eagle-eyed viewers have noticed Grimskull's horns are gone from his head. Sources tell me that in their brief entrapment, Walther tried to find inner-peace and prepare for death. This involved shedding his horns. But now that he's back and Conquest is back on the menu? We'll have to wait and see.

Shippers of Jackson Cade and CJ Thorpe have began mourning heavily with pictures and banners being plastered across certain levels of Arcadia. Certain zombified love stories have also been making the rounds but a spokesperson for the odd incestous shipping community has declared said stories as disgusting and nothing to do with them. It's nice to know they have standards, I suppose.

El Dragón Caído's arrival in Old School Wrestling has caused quite the storm in Arcadia. Formerly known as Draco, the Luchador is a hot favourite amongst fans of underground wrestling. One person was quoted as saying "he'll be World Champion by Ring of Dreams". This person was also believed to be his wife, whatever that is worth.

Ezekiel Graves is taking an opportunity to help those less fortunate in Arcadia. He's reportedly releasing a 'bible on tape' series, whereby he reads the bible in specific passages to those unable to read it themselves. The subscription cost is said to be extremely high, though. 

We understand that Red now realizes his CCTV network has been infiltrated and has began looking at mitigation factors. It's said that he's began searching for the culprit we now know to be Nero.

Drewitt was seen hanging around a local dog rescue this past weekend. Could he be searching for a new pup to replace C.H.R.I.S? If so, the Lucky Duck wonders what he'll be called.

Michaela Attano is edging closer to her stage name. We're told that the front runners are Madam Flex, Stretch Attanestrong and Stretchy McFlexyFace. The latter was voted on by a poll of Arcadians and is likely to be ignored.

 It is rumoured that Ezekiel Graves obtained the guns he armed his Disciples with by torturing a defiant Night Owl for weeks, forcing them to confess the location of a hidden weapons crate.