In this modern day, people just want everything right here, right now, don’t they? It’s understandable with modern convenience. We’re spoiled. Honestly, every last one of us is so SPOILED. But there are some things that just take some time to perfect, right?

Look at me. I spent hours as a child wishing for my life to be better, for the bad things to stop and for the good things to take over. It took a very long time for that dream to come true, but with the little push and a shove all the bad stuff finally ended.

Then Way & Co. happened, and that took a little time too. I built this company into the JUGGERNAUT it is today through sheer grit and determination. Before me it was a ramshackle group of slapstick CLOWNS who threw custard pies at each other and wore shoes that were ten sizes too big for them. It made a MOCKERY of what the circus should be. A circus should be a labour of love, not a quick fumble. That’s what I did. I treated this circus like a banquet. I lovingly crafted every element of each course, with my own hands. I crimped the pie-crusts, I boiled the potatoes, and I iced the damn CAKE.

I spent half of my LIFE building this thing up. At first, everything was underbaked, or burnt, or I’d forgotten the key ingredient. I could not understand where I was going wrong. But I think I have finally cracked it. Now Mighty Mighty has joined our esteemed company, my years of recipe crafting have resulted in a five star review, each mouthful giving the audience an ORGASM of entertainment.

But what about you, Anton Savor? You don’t know the meaning of the word GRAFT. You don’t understand the hours and hours of work needed to make yourself a success in this life. In Arcadia. You walked in the door and thought you were the big banquet of OSW, but you are nothing more than a microwave meal for one. Sad, lonely, and devoid of all flavour and personality. Do you know without being reminded of who you were by my good colleagues, I couldn’t have picked you out of a line-up. You look like every other wannabe that has pitched up to my circus, wanting a fast track to the top.

That’s not how life works. You can’t walk in here and nuke the thing in a microwave for 3 minutes and expect the world to stop turning due to the delectable taste you leave in their mouths. No. Poor effort makes poor food and poor food leaves a bad aftertaste.

Gaze upon the real gourmet chef of OSW, and wait until you see exactly what I’ve got cooking for you and Eclipse this week. You’ll be so embarrassed you’ll need a new career, and I’ve got JUST the idea…

Welcome to the FREAK SHOW, let us show you the Way!