Pokey Man

Klaus WayKlaus Way, Promo

[The big top is abuzz, with trapeze artists flying through the air, jugglers on unicycles and…elephants? Surely not!]

“Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, welcome to Way & Co’s wonderful world of entertainment. You’ll see before you the collection that I have spent half my life putting together. I’ve got strong people. I’ve got fast people. I’ve got people who can fly through the air like a bird. LIKE A DAMN BIRD, FOLKS.

[Klaus Way, a smile constantly plastered on his face, hops around wildly as he opens up the show with his usual spiel.]

“But let me tell you this. Building such a fascinating collection of creatures is not easy. Some people build collections based on friendship. NO, NO, NO. That will not do. You can’t build the best team on friendship alone! Friendship makes a group weak!”

[Klaus heads over to a space on the stage set up with two small podiums, each with a pair of curtains hiding their contents. Klaus giggles as he pulls the cord to open the first. It contains a small device for playing games.]

“I practiced my collecting abilities as a child on this. POKEMON. What a scintillating ADVENTURE it was, friends. I could find the best CREATURES. I could train them up to KILL other creatures, and I could DISPOSE of them if they were no longer good enough. Some of these Pokemon looked cute and fluffy on the outside. Your Clefairys and your Togepis. But for all their cuteness, they were DISGRACEFUL. Pit them against any kind of strong opponent and they folded.”

[Klaus heads to the second podium and pulls the rope, its a framed photo of Felix Foley.]

“Felix Foley here likes to collect things, just like me, but he likes to collect FRIENDS. He likes to amass all the CUTE, CUDDLY FRIENDS he can find, and that makes him feel warm in his soul. IMAGINE THAT! The problem is, those goofball friends he likes to speak to will never make him strong. They’ll never make him fast. They’ll never make him fly through the air, LIKE A BIRD. For that you need to cast the weaklings aside and search out the best.”

[Klaus leaps jauntily forward, his cane sparkling in the lights.]

“Felix, do you remember the protagonist from Pokemon? As I recall he was a young fellow who stayed in the body and mind of a 10 year old for two decades. He travelled around the world with his cute and cuddly collection and FAILED each and every time. He could never best his rivals or the big bad Pokemon masters, who had long discovered that you needed more than friendship. You, Felix, are just like Ash Ketchum. Wanting to make FRIENDS with your collection. But just like Ash, you are destined to gaze upon others with a wide-eyed childishness, and a constant proclivity for FAILURE.”

[Klaus steps back and shows off his circus freaks once more.]

“What you REALLY need, is a collection like mine, owned by a Pokemon MASTER like me!”

[He smirks.]

“Welcome to the FREAK SHOW, let us show you THE WAY!