Aurora, darling, I see what you’re going through and I want to help you out. I’ve seen both sides of Redgrave and the way he’s treating you would have most assume that the only time a woman’s voice matters to him is when it is simultaneously at its most loud and most emotionally driven.
A scream, the kind that can break anyone’s concentration, the kind that can divert the most focused of individuals. You see to most people, it’s not the scream that breaks them, it’s the inability to do anything about it. It is one of the very first things we learn that a scream, a cry gets us attention the way that a reasonable and well-toned request simply doesn’t. It’s really the second lesson we learn. First, life is pain. Second, screaming helps get someone to satiate or at least numb the pain.
Redgrave of course has that base human instinct we all do to immediately react to a scream, that’s why he wants to make it his centerpiece because he knows what we both do, someone will come and try to do something about it and when they can’t, that constant survivor’s guilt will gnaw at them like the worst swarm of locusts.
That’s what he wants, your ability to make others feel pain, it’s what invigorated his sociopathic heart, motivates him to make you the lead role, pushes him to force you to perform in a way you never intended.
Your power is in your scream but listen to me close because this is how I help you, it’s also in your silence and in the words that fill it. He wants to make you scream, do what I do and make the man earn it.
You think I became a queen or a leader of anything because I screamed at every possibility, I earned my power through making every word I said, every decibel I uttered be relevant. If you’re going to have top billing in the performance, use the one thing performers have over those that run the show, a rider.
Use your words and demand what you crave for that scream to pierce the ears of everyone Jasper Redgrave desires to hear it. I got him close to a world title when he was under my rule, it will work, he will listen to a strong woman, just force him to.
Make him give you your kind of show. Make him give you a victory. Make him use every fiber of muscle in his being to get that scream and then make him push even harder. Stop coming to him and make him come to you. Prove to him that you’re more than just a tool for a show and a whole damn show in yourself.
I want you to see what I see in you, not just a scream, a powerful woman who deserves to have a say in the things she does no matter who is with her or going after her. You deserve to prove to Redgrave that the only time you’ll scream is when you’re on top.