Being one finger pull away from death makes you reconsider what’s important im your life.

Life flashes and you are forced to deal with the existential dilemma that is how valuable your life is.

You see brief glimpses of your life play like a movie and it’s not God that judges you, it’s yourself for every little thing you’ve done.

For me, it played like a horror movie where I wasn’t the monster, just the one who pulled the strings.

I did about every crime imaginable on my way to the top and when you’re in the middle of doing it, you’re just telling yourself this is what you have to do to survive.

Watching it in slow-motion in Tartarus Theater revealed all the options I had.

People who were on my side almost died with me because I made Ares seek even more brutality.

I wanted my enemies to truly taste war and I almost tasted lead.

Why do I bring this up?

I did all these things because I thought it would be better for Arcadia but now I realize I was only doing it for myself.

Arcadia deserves better than Hera, Arcadia deserves the Balenciaga that was breaking down barriers not being an accomplice to sealing them shut.

I let people down, I let myself down, all for a crown.

Is this what I wished for?

Heavy is the crown and God I’m tired of carrying it.

I see you Captain Arcadia and I realize you’re closer to who I wanted to be than I ever was myself.

I never wanted to be queen growing up, I hated those at the top and I wanted to be a shield for those at the bottom.

I learned fashion not to become like them but so that I could blend into their world and destroy it from within.

Marriage is a cage and just like you under the Zookeeper, I’ve been trapped.

You might have lost your fangs in the process but at least you’re free, not a prisoner in a fancy outfit.

How did you find your way back to who you wanted to be?

How did you take off your yellow crown and show the world the real you?

How did you defeat the trap your life led you to?

After watching my life played out that way, I didn’t want to survive and cause more pain, I wanted him to pull the trigger because I believed I deserved it more than anyone else on my team.

Now I’m forced to live with my regrets and realize I hate everything I’ve become.

If it was a few weeks ago, I would have mocked you for giving up everything and making yourself weaker in the process.

Now I’m wishing I had the power to do what you did.

You didn’t give up everything, you took yourself back.

It’s about time I do the same.

Now give me the shield.

It’s my turn to protect those I turned my back on while you lie down under the lights.