“AIN’T NO GRAVE”
RECORDED EARLIER
Click.
The Slaughterhouse logo flickers in glowing neon.
The sound of dirt being tossed around echoes over the glowing neon before transitioning to the Grave Yard from last week. Banzan is stood inside a hole, digging away the dirt, finally reaching down to pull an unconscious Sorrow from within it.
With a cough and a splutter, Sorrow opens his eyes, spitting dirt out.
“You really cannot die, can you?” Banzan says, dropping to his butt in exhaustion, joining Sorrow there.
The Gravedigger shakes his head.
“What happens to you?” He asks carefully. “How does it work?”
Coughing up dirt, Darby shrugs.
“It takes a little time to recover,” he admits. “My wounds heal quickly. I still feel it, it still hurts, but it doesn’t last long.”
The World Champion looks across at his future opponent, in awe at the gift and curse he seems to have received.
“Thanks for digging me out,” Darby says, wiping dirt from his mouth. “I would’ve been down there a while I can imagine; I guess that was the plan, eh?”
Banzan nods. “He stands to gain if you cannot compete.”
“He can have it. I don’t want it, Banzan. I’m no Champion; I’m a man who wants desperately to die. There’s nothing here for me.”
The Champ stands up, shaking his head.
“You’re wrong,” he growls. “And when BEG comes back, I’m hopeful you’ll see that.”
Cut.
“NEW RECRUIT”
BACKSTAGE
Backstage, Blackveil is talking to her army of brides.
“Sisters, we are gathered here for one reason and one reason only, to destroy the patriarchy by any means necessary. We all have been crushed under the thumb of wicked politicians, wronged by devious suitors, or even been betrayed by the men closest to us. I know all of your stories and you all know mine. It’s why we are sisters united in making this world better for all women, we are not like these childish men playing with this world like a toy they can easily discard when they find something more appealing. Be it because of greed or lust, all of us have had our lives ruined by men and we all learned eventually that there is no such thing as a good man.”
The brides repeat after her in unison.
“There is no such thing as a good man.”
Blackveil continues
“When any woman understands that, feels it to her bones, we must help her process that information and put it to good use. In us, she will find the strength she has always had to take down the men who have destroyed her life. I normally wouldn’t do this but today, I introduce to you a new sister in our ranks. Come out whenever you feel ready…”
A new woman enters the room wearing her old wedding veil, the white veil a heavy contrast to Blackveil and her brides.
“I introduce you to Vivian Whitlock, Once Alton’s blushing bride, she has now become ours. Betrayed by the one man she trusted in this world, she has accepted there are no good men. Now Vivian to join us truly, you must dirty your old veil with the sins of men who have destroyed your innocent thoughts of the world. Give us every reason you decided to seek me out and when speaking those reasons, dip your vail in this canister of black paint here. When it is black as night, you will become truly one of us if you are ready to accept what that entails.”
Vivian nods and starts nervously speaking.
“It all started with my father. Whenever my mother made any little mistake, burnt food here, a missed spot she meant to clean there, he hit her with such force, she crumbled into a heap.”
A tear falls down Vivian’s face while she dips her veil.
“When she was unconscious, his anger went to me and my sisters. Bruises all over made us wear long dresses even in the hottest of days.”
Dip.
“When we got older and more developed, the times my mother was out cold, he tried to touch us in the ways a father shouldn’t.”
Dip.
“It had become such a hellhole that all of us left that house the moment we could in one way or another. I was the lucky one that ran away. My oldest sister, Mary, was killed by our father when she tried to defend our mom. When he hit her, she fell and hit her temple on the edge of our kitchen table. She bled out and he stood there watching as if it meant nothing.”
Dip.
“My youngest sister, Jennifer, tried to call the cops but he cut the phonelines long before she had the chance. With her being the only one awake, he rushed after her to make sure she told no one. She killed herself before he got the chance. In his shock my father pulled out his revolver, shot my mom and then shot himself so he wouldn’t have to face justice.”
Dip.
“After, I ran away, I tried to find love anywhere and constantly looked in the wrong places, the bruises of my childhood were replaced by the bruises of lovers.”
Dip.
“My whole life, I was stuck in a cycle of misery but then I found Alton. He was kind, loving, generous, and gave me more care and comfort than I ever received in my whole life. He was the man I wish I could’ve introduced to my mom and sisters, even my father to show him what a man should be like. But then, I heard what happened in that strip club, heard what Alton did to that poor girl and realized Alton was just like my father. He didn’t hit me, he didn’t try to force himself on me but if he could do it to a stranger, it was just a matter of time for me. If that’s the kind of man the best man I ever met is, there is no such thing as a good man.”
She dips the veil one last time and shakes it vigorously making sure every thread is pitch black. The brides applaud until Blackveil holds her hand up and speaks.
“Now show what you are willing to do to take him down.”
Vivian nods
Cut.
IGNATIUS VS. JUNKRAT
SINGLES MATCH
Junkrat looks to put out the flames of Ignatius while the Black Flame intends to burn himself into the memory of everyone.
Junkrat snickers as he looks over at the fire suit clad Ignatius as the bell sounds. The Wildman of Junkertown runs across the ring delivering a dropkick to the Black Flame throwing him into the corner. Junkrat quickly returns to the corner before running the length of the ring again but is met with a boot to the face.
Junkrat drops to the mat holding his face as Ignatius looms over him. Ignatius lifts the lanky Australian to his feet before clothesline him back down to the mat. Junkrat scrambles away outside which draws Ignatius out with him.
Ignatius is on the apron when Junkrat quickly sweeps the leg driving the Black Flame down to the hard edge of the ring, before being pushed back inside. Junkrat climbs onto the apron before flinging himself over the top rope with a senton making sure he lands with his weight onto Ignatius.
Junkrat makes his way to the top rope and looks down at making sure Ignatius is in position. He readies himself before sending his lanky frame flipping through the air with the Rip-Tire! Staying in a ball of mass as he crashes down onto the Black Flame with all of his weight. ONE! TWO! THREE!
Junkrat extinguishes the flames of Ignatius tonight, showing that the flames can’t burn him out
“DUDE, WHERE’S MY PHONE?”
BACKSTAGE
“WHERE IS IT!?!”
Kenny Freeman is panicking.
Walking quickly, retracing his steps, he looks all around him for any sign of it.
A referee walks by and Kenny grabs him by the shoulders. “Have you seen a phone laying around anywhere?”
The referee shakes his head and pulls away from Kenny’s grasp.
Kenny spins around in a circle, feeling the pressure.
“Dude, where’s my phone?”
Kenny stands still, thinking long and hard. Suddenly, his pupils dilate. A look of fear spreads across his face that runs pale.
He sprints towards the locker room.
Freeman steps into the locker room and finds his momentary fear is realized.
There, laying on the floor, screen shattered and battery removed is Kenny Freeman’s phone.
Standing over it, holding the battery in his tight grip, is Redwing.
Kenny looks down at the remnants of his phone, then up at Redwing.
“Why?”
“I should ask you the same thing,” Redwing replies. “I told you once not to bring attention to me with your social media accounts, and you did anyway.”
“You broke my pho–”
“Shut up,” Redwing interjects. “You don’t see through anything but your twitter colored lenses, so here’s some. reality tinted perspective.”
Redwing gets in Kenny’s personal space, towering over him.
“My life? What I do? It’s dangerous, kid. I put my life on the line in the name of justice every day. You, continuously tweeting about me amplifies my fame. And that, in turn, amplifies the amount of danger I encounter. Just this week, the amount of criminals who showed up to Hell’s Kitchen just to get a piece of me has gone up threefold. And that’s all thanks to you.”
Redwing starts to walk away–
But Kenny Freeman grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around.
He punches Redwing right in his jaw!
Redwing, for a moment, is shocked.
He licks his lips, rubs his cheek, and smiles at Kenny.
“That was a freebie, Free Bird. Don’t try me again.”
Kenny steps in Redwing’s face. “You know, you’re not much of a hero. You got a problem with men snatching purses, but no problem snatching my phone and destroying it.”
Redwing rolls his eyes.
Kenny snarls. “You’re a hypocrite. Don’t try you again? Are you KIDDING me bro? I’m GONNA try you again. At Invasion, it’s going down.”
Kenny storms off.
Redwing watches him walk away, and shakes his head.
KENNY FREEMAN VS. THE JUDGE
SINGLES MATCH
It’s the Order vs. the Social Media Sensation as The Judge faces Kenny Freeman!
Kenny looks across at the gargantuan Judge that stands before him. He looks out to the audience, shrugs and throws himself at Judge who catches the smaller Freeman and lifts him up to his shoulders. Judge looks for his Restoration Bomb!
Judge crashes to the mat as Freeman connects with a hurricanrana! The Social Media Sensation hits the ropes and charges back going for a low dropkick. The Judge barely notices the blow as he grabs the smaller Freeman and slams him to the mat.
The Judge looks down to the fallen Kenny and quickly drops a heavy elbow that knocks the air out of Kenny’s lungs. Judge looks for another elbow, but Kenny moves out just in time. As Judge stands to his feet, Freeman wraps his arm around his neck and driving down for a DDT!
Judge doesn’t go! Freeman crashes to the mat as The Judge leans down and begins biting Kenny’s forehead! Judge pulls the Social Media Sensation to his feet as blood begins to flow. Judge quickly leaps in the air dropping Kenny with a cutter! YOUR PAST MAY BITE YOU!
The incensed Judge stands to his feet pulling a dazed and bloody Kenny and boosts him up to his shoulders with ease, quickly driving Kenny down to the mat with RESTORATION! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Judge puts an end to the rising social media star here tonight! Who will be judged next?
“BALANCE SHEET”
RINGSIDE
With the match over, The Judge walks over to retrieve his ax, bending down to grab it.
WHAM!
MICKEY MCGUINNESS FROM BEHIND WITH A STEEL CHAIR!
The Judge straightens out, and with fire in his eyes, grabs Mickey around the neck. He didn’t even feel the chair shot.
BAM!
The Judge goes down to a knee as none other than BEG has hit the ring and hit the chop block. Is there any pot this guy doesn’t have his hands in?
Before Judge can get up, BEG is joined by Mark Gouldern, who delivers a clinically precise right hand to Judge. The trio surround Judge, ill intent on their minds. But almost as sudden as their arrival, they find there is someone else in the ring with them.
Inferus.
The mysterious woman takes a shot at BEG before being grabbed by Mickey. BEG and Gouldern quickly roll out of the ring as Inferus throws Mickey out on the other side. She and The Judge had a tense staredown last week, but this time she’s come to his rescue. With an emotionless face, she turns around to look at Judge.
“You serve balance?” She asks. “Then we…”
SPARTA KICK TO INFERUS! THE JUDGE HAS RENDERED THE VERDICT!
The masked one looks down at Inferus before walking over to grab his ax.
With Inferus flattened in the ring, Gouldern and BEG nod to one another from the ringside bar.
“Told you this would work.” BEG comments, clapping Gouldern on the back.
“Just another entry on the balance sheet, Greene.” Gouldern replies, unflappable. “There was never any doubt of its success. Nor of the success of phase two.”
BEG snarls his nose at his would-be ally.
“Phase two will have to wait until next week. I’ve got to handle some business.”
Without waiting for a response, BEG walks away. Gouldern watches as Judge begins to head up the aisle before reaching down to do something with his wrist gauntlet.
“Perhaps you’ll enjoy phase three, then.”
“STORM’S BREWING”
SOMEWHERE ELSE
A garage.
Jackson Middlefield sits at a wall of powered-down monitors, eating lunch.
A pounding on the door. It opens.
A man steps inside. He shuts the door.
A moment passes.
“Holy shit,” says Jackson. “Luke freakin’ Storm!”
“Hey, man. Nice to meet you face to face.”
“Wow,” says Jackson. “ You’re here! I don’t care what the haters say about you these days. Hands of Rage changed my life, man.”
“Thanks, Jackson. I owe a lot to fans like you.”
“But I have to say… I can’t find anything on where this SeeSaw freak is operating from.”
“Guy at the studio said you’re a wizard on the Dark Web,” says Storm.
“But SeeSaw’s not your normal Internet weirdo. Wild stuff, Luke. Either supernatural, or some tech nobody’s heard of. He’s untraceable—“
Suddenly: a resounding THUNK.
Total darkness.
Then, blinding bright: the sneering visage of SeeSaw himself. His ghastly face, gigantic across the six monitor configuration. The veins in his neck bulge.
“STUPID GROWN-UPS WILL NEVER FIND THE LAND OF MAKE BELIEVE,” he bellows.
“Morning, sunshine,” Luke says.
“Hiya!” SeeSaw says. “See my new toy?”
He holds up a Luke Storm action figure. It’s melted and disfigured.
“Cute,” Storm says. “But I’ve read this script before. You can only hide behind toys and games for so long, kiddo.”
“PLAYTIME IS AS LONG AS I WANT!” snaps SeeSaw. “You’ll never find me.”
“Oh, I’ll find you, and I’ll make sure you never pull your shit on anyone’s kid, ever again. At Invasion—”
SeeSaw’s face twists into shock.
“The land of make believe is under siege.”
SeeSaw gasps. The monitors click off. The lights reactivate.
“I cannot wait to watch you punch his face in,” says Jackson.
Luke Storm nods at his loyal fan.
But rage remains in his eyes.
Cut.
BANZAN & PAPA LEGBA VS. GOULDERN & WHITLOCK
TAG TEAM MATCH
Banzan and Papa Legba outweigh Mark Gouldern and Alton Whitlock by a considerable amount tonight. Can the unorthodox offense of Gouldern and the crowdpleasing style of Whitlock overcome a mountain of a challenge tonight?
The bell sounds and it is Banzan squaring off against Alton Whitlock. The Candidate leaps in with a JUMPING LARIAT THAT ROCKS BANZAN! Whitlock runs in, SHOULDER CHARGE! THE BUMP ROCKS BANZAN! A SECOND SHOULDER CHARGE! Banzan folds his arms and closes his eyes. A THIRD SHOULDER CHARGE… WAIT… WHITLOCK JUST BOUNCED OFF BANZAN WITH NO EFFECT AT ALL!
Gouldern tags in and both men target the Indestructible Mountain. ASSISTED BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! IT TOOK BOTH MEN TO GET BANZAN OFF HIS FEET! The ring shakes as the Mountain crumbles! But a sneaky tag from Legba on the way down sees him step over the top rope and into the ring.
LEGBA TAKES OUT GOLDERN FROM BEHIND… SPIRIT BREAKER! Whitlock protests and hurls himself back into the action, only to get TOSSED FROM THE RING WITH FORCE! The Gatekeeper turns back to Mark Gouldern and picks him up. With both hands around Gouldern’s neck, it looks like curtains.. until… BZZZZT! PAPA LEGBA SCREAMS AND DROPS THE TECHNOLOGIST!
Gouldern pockets a small silver device. RUTHLESS INSPIRTATION! HE HAS THE ANKLE LOCKED! But Banzan breaks it up with a COBRA STRIKE TO THE TEMPLE! Whitlock blindsides Banzan with PARTY POLITICS! THE MOUNTAIN IS DOWN AGAIN! DISRUPTION TO LEGBA! WHAT A FUCKING PUNCH! Mark Gouldern collapses into the cover! ONE!! TWO!! THREEEEE!!!
The duo of Gouldern and Whitlock take down two of the biggest and most intimidating men OSW has to offer! What a night for both men!
“WHERE ANSWERS AWAIT”
BACKSTAGE
Two moments of time, two separate locations within the Slaughterhouse, one common thread: an unwitting contestant about to receive his invite to The Show That Never Ends.
First, the man that calls himself X approaches a strange door at the end of a hallway, scanning it with his bionic eye only to come up with no results. Suddenly, the door opens to reveal Monty Straight, a smile on his face as he steps fully into the hall.
“Mr. X, just the man I wanted to see! I’m Monty Straight, host of The Show That Never Ends! On every episode I present contestants two simple doors with a choice of two extraordinary prizes. As my next contestant, I want you to think about that which you have always wanted…got any ideas?”
X responds to the question with silence, but a look of curiosity on his face tells Monty all he needs to know. Elsewhere, a moment has passed before the Realm Walker known as Sigil approaches a strange but enticing box, curious to its contents when a call from behind grabs his attention. Sigil turns to face the one calling him, and sure enough a smiling Monty Straight approaches.
“I see you’ve found the lucky box, Mr. Sigil! There’s plenty more where that came from, on The Show That Never Ends! I’m your host, Monty Straight, and that’s how I shoot.”
This gets a confused stare from the Collector, whose attention is divided between Straight and the box.
“If you think that’s exciting, you’ll be extra eager to learn about the choice of prizes that await. As my next contestant, I want you to really hunker down and consider that which you never knew you needed…what’d ya say?”
Sigil’s response is similarly nonverbal but hesitantly suggests an interest in Monty’s offer.
“TAKE HIM DOWN”
SOMEWHERE ELSE
Outside The Slaughterhouse, Alton Whitlock is taking a breath of fresh air after his match.
“Ah… after the hell I’ve gone through this week, it’s nice to take a break… what the?”
The strip club outside The Slaughterhouse, Satin Dolls, perfectly intact before the show is now burnt to a crisp. Police cars and firetrucks surround the destroyed building. Alton dashes across the street to see if he can help in any way.
“Sir, we urge you to stay away from the building. We rescued as much as possible before the building became unstable.”
“What if there is anyone left in there?”
The police look down knowing that it’s too late if there is. Blackveil walks behind Whitlock and begins speaking.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Whitlock, the girls are safe. As for the miscreants in there like yourself, if they’re alive, all is well. If not, no one will miss them”
A firefighter yells to an officer interviewing some of the survivors.
“Sir, come here, you might want to see this.”
The firefighter presents the officer a lighter with the Whitlock family crest.
“Mr. Whitlock, we need to take you into questioning.”
“What? I haven’t done anything, I’ve never even been here. I’ve already had a hell of a week, now this?”
“Sir, we’re not accusing you of anything, just know that anything you say can and will be held against you if taken to a court of law.”
“I know what Miranda Rights are, I request a lawyer before questioning.”
“Understood, now come with me.”
Alton holds out his arms and lets the officer handcuff him and walk him to the back of the squad car. The cop is about to drive off but Blackveil asks if she can say something to Whitlock. The cop nods and rows down the back window.
“Mr. Whitlock, you really need to stop coming to these establishments. You put everyone around you in danger when you do. A cage is the only way to stop men like you destroying the world.”
“I’m trying to save the world, I’m not a criminal, I’m a good man.”
“There is no such thing as a good man, Mr. Whitlock.”
Blackveil walks away from the car and the cop drives off.
“I don’t know what her problem is, Mr. Whitlock.”
As the car drives off, he sees Vivian tending to the girls from the club and everything clicks for him now.
“I do.”
Cut.
SCRIMSHAW VS. LUKE STORM VS. REDWING
HOUSE RULEZ CHAMPIONSHIP
Tonight, we have our first ever match for the house rulez championship! The first not so lucky competitors are Scrimshaw, Luke Storm, and Redwing! Their goal is to tie their opponent to a meat hook and crank him up! Who will taste glory and who will taste defeat? We find out next in the meat locker!
DING! DING! Scrimshaw marches after Luke Storm! The sea dog has never seen a storm he can’t handle and he levels Storm with a spinebuster! DASHED ON THE ROCKS! Scrimshaw marches after Redwing now but Redwing kicks the knee out! RETURN TO ARKHAM! Redwing dropped Scrimshaw with the double underhook DDT and he starts to drag him to the meat hook!
LIGHTNING STRIKE! He hits Redwing hard with the superkick and starts to drag Scrimshaw himself but no! Scrimshaw grabs the leg! SEA SERPENT’S STRIKE! He hits the dragon screw leg whip! He’s not done! He locks in the CAPTAIN’S HOOK! Storm is trying to fight out of it but it looks like he is about to fade! No! DARKNESS FALLS! Redwing curb stomps a prone Scrimshaw and drags him to the meat hook!
He leans the seadog against the hook and pulls out a rope from his utility belt! BACKSTABBER! Luke Storm hits the backstabber out of nowhere on Redwing! LIGHTNING STRIKE! He hits the superkick on Scrimshaw for good measure and ties him up against the hook! He runs towards the crank and starts to crank it up!
Storm is cranking it up, cranking it up! Scrimshaw is rising, he’s getting to the top and Luke is about to win this! No! Redwing has been waiting behind Storm this whole time, grabs his wrist and pulls him in! GOD…NO! STORM COUNTERS WITH THE DOWNPOUR! He hit the codebreaker and does one last crank to pull Scrimshaw to the top!
Luke Storm has done it! He’s our very first House Rulez champion! He’s on his path to proving he’s a true fighter here.
“FOR HIS OWN GOOD”
BACKSTAGE
Backstage
We cut backstage to see the stern figure we have come to know as Mr. Johnson leading a straight-jacketed Mez through the halls, wheeling him along on a dolly-trolley that secures him into to the frame. The squeaking of the trolley’s wheel comes to a stop as the pair are stopped by an unseen figure, cloaked in shadows and hiding just out of view.
“Ah, it’s you.” Mr. Johnson retorts without emotion. “I thought we might happen upon you sooner or later.”
There is no reply, causing the warden to continue his greeting as a wild eyed Mez looks on.
“I trust that your contact gave you my message then? I suggest you follow my advice and leave sleeping dogs where they lie.”
A soft chuckle comes from the shadows in form of reply.
“You know I cannot do that. I am only interested in one thing… exposing the truth.”
Mr Johnson stiffens up at the comment, his face curling into an agitated snarl.
“You seek conspiracy theories where there are none. You do not understand what you’re dealing with here.”
Finally, the hidden figure steps forward, revealing himself as the masked enigma… Veritas. He stands face to face with the warden, prodding him in the chest.
“No. I’m not sure you understand what you’re dealing with. Release this man, you cannot hold him against his will. It is against his basic human right.”
Mr. Johnson does not back down, nor seem intimidated.
“You saw what he is capable of last week when he was unleashed against Seesaw. Believe me when I tell you that these measures are for the greater good. For the public, and for his own good. I cannot in all good conscience release such a patient into the public just because you think it is unfair.”
Veritas releases him, stepping away. Yet his voice remains as stern and forceful as ever.
“You have been warned. I will pull back the curtain on the truth. I will find out why exactly you’re so eager to shut this man away from the rest of the world. One way or another, he will be released.”
Cut.
“AIN’T NO GRAVE II”
SOMEWHERE ELSE
The swagger of Berkshire Ellison Green is infectious as he walks through the grave yard, a ginormous smile plastered across his face. That smile soon turns into a frown as the realisation of what’s before him comes to pass.
The grave he created has been dug.
And Darby Sorrow isn’t there.
Panicked, he looks around, desperately searching the rest of the grave yard with his eyes.
Whack!
Shovel across the back!
BEG falls down, hitting his face hard into the mud. He turns over, seeing Sorrow stood over him.
“You came back,” he snarls. “How kind of you. He said you’d be back.”
Green checks the back of his head for blood, luckily finding none.
“I came to make sure you were where I left you,” BEG says with disappointment. “But like a cockroach, it seems you escaped.”
“I didn’t escape,” Darby tells him straight. “Banzan dug me out. You see, whilst I may not want his Championship or that match at Invasion, what I do want is to make you suffer. If myself and Banzan agree on anything, it’s making you suffer.”
Green pulls himself to his feet, smiling.
“You can give it your best shot,” he arrogantly snarls. “But you don’t have the method or the means.”
Darby smiles.
“We’ll see about that.”
DARBY SORROW VS. BERKSHIRE ELLISON GREEN
Berkshire Ellison Greene has returned to the grave site, to inspect and ensure that one Darby Sorrow remains buried… It looks like Sorrow will not be going down without a fight!
BEG lets out a grunt of frustration, running towards sORROW. CRACK! SHOVEL BLOW TO FRONT OF THE HEAD! BEG is knocked from his feet and into the open grave! Darby doesn’t rest there, but ELBOW DROPS BEG, FLYING INTO THE GRAVE AFTER HIM!
Sorrow is first to crawl out of the grave, dragging a weary BEG after him. He charges at BEG once more, LINING UP A CLOTHESLINE! BUT BEG REVERSES IT! PYRAMID SCHEME! The triangle choke is locked in tight! Sorrow fades and soon the Grave Digger looks like he’s out! Greene stands and awaits the call.
ONE…
TWO…
THREE…
FOUR…
FIVE…
SI-SIGNS OF LIFE! DARBY SORROW STIRS!
BEG takes the frustration out, stomping on the Immortal One. He grabs Darby around the neck and locks him into a SLEEPER HOLD! Sorrow manages to manoeuvre the hold over to a nearby headstone. HE LAUNCHES OFF THE HEADSTONE! INVERTED NECKBREAKER DROPS BEG ONTO THE CONCRETE OF THE GRAVE!
BEG is slow to his feet, groggy. Sorrow is waiting for him… SORROWFUL LIFE! THE LEAPING CLOTHESLINE KNOCKS BEG RIGHT BACK INTO THE OPEN GRAVE! Ironically, it is the headstone that reads ‘Here Lies Darby Sorrow’ that he launches himself off next… COFFIN DROP INTO THE GRAVE!
ONE…
TWO…
THREE…
FOUR…
FIVE…
SIX…
SEVEN…
EIGHT…
NINE…
TEN!
Berkshire Ellison Greene is out! Darby Sorrow walks away from the grave with a victory over the man who took down the champ last week!
“ALL IT TAKES IS ONE”
BACKSTAGE
Darkness.
Fog spreads across the black backdrop, a snake wrapping around a chair made of skulls. Seated there is the Gatekeeper of the Spirit World.
Papa Legba.
The Spirit of the Dead has his cane across his lap, his eyes closed as the fog blankets his form.
Suddenly, his eyes snap open.
“I’ve been expecting you.” He says, grin forming on his face.
Legba removes the cane from his lap, and takes a more open stance to the individual parting the thick fog.
Or group of individuals.
Ignatius.
The plurality walks to stand directly in front of Papa Legba.
“We heard your venomous offer.” They begin, but Legba raises a hand.
“My friend, my offer was not for the masses. Only one desires the freedom I wish to grant. Only one wishes to take my hand, leave behind the flame, and get that which they desire. No, that which they deserve.”
Just as last week, Ignatius’ head tilts to the side, moving in almost microscopic tics.
“I hear you, friend.” Legba says, leaning forward. “Allow me to give you more fuel for your flame to burn brightest.”
“The deal I offer is simple, and only for the one who calls for my services. You are wise and strong, use those traits to take control of the prison you are trapped within. Emerge from within the masses to take control for yourself.”
The tics continue, Legba leans back and places the cane back across his lap.
“Once you have summoned the strength to do that, then I require one simple task from you, my friend. Complete it, and I will set you free. Fail, and you will be mine for all of eternity.”
No answer from Ignatius, whose conflict is apparent. Legba drops his grin, nodding behind Ignatius.
“Leave me. You have one week to prove yourself worthy of finding out the task that will set you free.”
Smoke begins to rise from under the collar of Ignatius, and they speak with a thousand voices and one.
“We will not make a deal with you.”
Seemingly back under one accord, Ignatius takes their leave. Legba closes his eyes and seems to relax once again.
“We will see.”
“INTO THE SCRAP HEAP”
BACKSTAGE
Junk.
Junk every where.
Through rusted sheet metal, stripped screws, and more than a few piles of gunpowder we find ourselves deep inside of the confines of the Slaughterhouse, the sounds of a low voice mumbling profanities echoes off of the shoddy metal that forms this… home. This Scrap Heap.
“Blasted crab shack, they think they got the better of me? WELL I’LL SHOW THEM!”
Seemingly having forgotten about last week’s encounter with Scrimshaw, we find Junkrat looming over a poorly drawn out blueprint, or rather, a ‘battle plan’. A restaurant is seen on the page, ‘Dirty Dean’s Crab Shack’. Junkrat snarls at it as he circles it in red marker, making a cross hair on it.
“The cannon didn’t do the job, but I got a A REAL BIG ONE READY TO GO! Here’s the plan. I take my new super bomb, the MEGA DEATH ROCKET! And I place it behind the shop during the day. Light the fuse, knock on the door, then KABOOM!”
As Junkrat carries on with his ranting, talking to himself about the plan, calling himself brilliant, even. The scene is treated to the sight of Captain Scrimshaw, the salty sea dog, walking behind Junkrat… and right up to a large rocket-esque bomb in the center of the Scrap Heap’s main hall. He inspects it, finding a fuse coming right off the back of it.
“Ya know, in another life I could’ve had a man like this on me crew… though I suppose I can do without the ocean madness.”
Junkrat is too busy enamored by his own talking to notice Scrimshaw, the old captain taking the fuse and placing it on the end of its pipe, setting it ablaze. He then got up and calmly walked away.
“Into the scrap heap with ya, ya damn dirty rat.”
Meanwhile, still fawning over his plan, is Junkrat.
“Oooohoohoo! It’s gonna be AMAZING. I just need to find a way to hall this… what’s that noise?”
The sound of the fuse burning attracts his attention, and Junkrat turns around see it nearing the end of its lifespan.
“Oh. Oh Bugger.”
KA-BOOM!
The explosion shakes the earth and, at the entrance we see a puff of smoke escape the large pile of scrap, Scrimshaw admiring his handiwork when he hears from deep within the heap.
“I’m okay! I think. I might just have to sleep this one off.”
And with that, Scrimshaw shakes his head, walking away from the Scrap Heap in disappointment.
MEZ VS. BLACKVEIL VS. X VS. SIGIL VS. VERTIAS VS. STRAIGHT
Six Blades. Six Contestants.
Sigil.
Blackveil.
Veritas.
Monty Straight.
Mez.
X.
One of these contenders will be our first ever Slaughterhouse Champion!
Blackveil’s sisters circle the ring menacingly.
DING! DING!
And immediately that swarm of sisters storms the ring! Veritas, Mez, X, Sigil, and Monty Straight find themselves fighting off these veiled women who perform Blackveil’s bidding! Eventually, the men start taking the upperhand, fighting them off.
As the Sisters are cleared out of the ring, Sigil reaches in his bag and reveals a translucent, glass ball, with smoke swirling inside of it.
He looks at Blackveil. “Globe,” he says, and smashes it on the floor.
The ring fills with a gas from some other plane as Sigil appears to phase out of existence! Everyone is coughing their lungs out, down on their knees, except for Monty Straight, who adjusts his tie.
SIGIL APPEARS IN FRONT OF HIM AND NAILS HIM WITH FINITE!! THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK DROPS STRAIGHT.
The gas begins dispersing as Sigil slides out of the ring and retrieves the ladder, tossing it into the ring over the top rope. It sits on the top rope, inclined in the ring.
MEZ RUNS UP THE LADDER AND LEAPS OUT OF THE RING ONTO SIGIL!!! ANARCHY!!!
Mez delivers headbutt after headbutt to Sigil outside of the ring! Veritas, X, and Blackveil look at each other, and then the ladder.
Veritas charges Blackveil! Blackveil snaps her fingers and disappears, reappearing on the other side of the ring. X sends a vicious frontkick to the back of Veritas’ knee! EXECUTION!!! HE HITS VERITAS FROM BEHIND WITH THE DOUBLE AXE HANDLE!!!
…but suddenly, X is choking! Black tendrils wrap around his neck, extending forth from Blackveil’s hand, strangling the life out of him!
Monty Straight grabs Blackveil! RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP TO CROSSFACE SUBMISSION!!! TERMS AND CONDITIONS!!! BLACKVEIL IS TAPPING, BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER!!! MONTY STRAIGHT IS RIPPING HER IN HALF!!!
Finally Monty Straight lets go, moments before the Sisters once again swarm the ring! Monty walks over to the ladder. He’s spun around by VERITAS!!! TRUTH AND RECONCILIATION!!! MONTY STRAIGHT DROPS TO THE GROUND!!!
Veritas grabs the ladder and sets it up! He begins climbing up it!
X crawls to the other side and climbs up as well. Both men reach the top of the ladder! The Slaughterhouse Championship Belt hangs above them! Veritas swings at X! X ducks and hooks Veritas with that weaponized arm in the temple!!! Veritas is knocked the fuck out!!! He falls to the mat! X reaches up!
HE GRABS THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE BELT!!!
BUT MEZ SPEARS THE LADDER WITH HIS GOD DAMN HEAD!!! IT TOPPLES OVER!!! X RIDES IT AND FALLS OUT OF THE RING, HITTING THE GROUND!!!
JESUS CHRIST!!! SIGIL IS HANGING FROM THE GOD DAMN CHAMPIONSHIP BELT!!! HOW DID HE GET THERE!?!?!
Mez, Veritas, Monty Straight! They look up in disbelief! Sigil is about to unstrap the belt!!! He’s going to win this whole thing!!!
BLACKVEIL APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A MIDAIR PUNT KICK TO SIGIL’S HEAD!!! A FUCKING MIDAIR ANNULMENT!!! THEY BOTH FALL TO THE RING!!!
Monty straight grabs Blackveil by the legs! STRAIGHT SHOOTER!!!
Veritas mounts Sigil!!! EYE OF PROVIDENCE!!!
And Mez sets up the ladder!
“REDRESS!!” Blackveil screams out in agony as Straight keeps his finisher locked in! Once again, The SISTERS swarm the ring! This time they beat the ever living shit out of Straight!
X darts into the ring as Mez climbs the ladder. He pulls Mez down by the arm! TONGAN DEATH GRIP ON MEZ!!!
And Veritas starts climbing up the ladder!
The referee’s eyes turn white! His body hovers in the air!
HE FLIES THROUGH THE AIR AND COLLIDES INTO THE LADDER LIKE HE WAS SHOT OUT OF A CANNON!!!
VERITAS’ NECK GETS HUNG ACROSS THE TOP ROPE! HE FALLS TO THE MAT, CLUTCHING HIS THROAT!!!
Blackveil grabs the ladder and positions it in the center of the ring!!
CLOTHESLINE FROM X!!! THAT BIONIC ARM PRACTICALLY RIPS HER HEAD OFF!!!
PLANESWALKER FROM SIGIL TO X!!! X FLIES ACROSS THE RING!!!
MEZ WITH A HEAD CHECK TO SIGIL!!! And now the SLAUGHTERHOUSE CHAMPIONSHIP IS MEZ’S TO TAKE!!!
Mez begins to climb rung by rung, slowly, no doubt seeing stars after using his head so often in this bout!
Mez is at the top of the ladder!!! He reaches up and begins unfastening the title!!!
BUT MONTY STRAIGHT RUNS UP THE LADDER BEHIND HIM!!!
THE BIG DEAL!!! MONTY STRAIGHT TAKES MEZ OFF THE LADDER WITH THE AVALANCHE GERMAN SUPLEX!!! BOTH MEN HIT THE GROUND OUTSIDE OF THE RING!!! JESUS H. MURPHY!!!!
And the Sisters outside the ring once again start swarming, this time assaulting both Straight and Mez!!
In the ring, Sigil, Blackveil, X, and Veritas are all climbing to their feet.
Staggering upwards, all four realize their positions.
They begin to circle each other in the ring, no one quite ready to make the first move.
X darts across the ring at Blackveil!
Veritas charges Sigil!
Drop toe hold to X!!!
Sigil cosmic leaps!!!
THE ANNULMENT TO X!!!
PLANESWALKER TO VERITAS!!!
Sigil cosmic leaps up to the title!!! Blackveil snaps her fingers and disappears!!!
Both of them DANGLE from the Slaughterhouse Championship!!! They hold onto it with one arm, and with the other throw punches at each other!!! Left from Sigil!! Right from Blackveil!!! Sigil!! Blackveil!! Left!!! Right!!! Left!!! Right!!!
Outside the ring, Mez and Straight are successfully fighting off the sisters!!! Mez headbutts Straight and charges into the ring!!!
Mez positions the ladder and begins to climb up it!!!
But X and his bionic arm are darting up the other side!!!
Veritas is stirring to his feet!!!
Straight clamors into the ring!!!
X and Mez meet at the top of the ladder and begin pummeling Blackveil and Sigil respectively! X with his bionic arm knocks the living fuck out of Blackveil and she hits the ground!
Mez headbutts Sigil, who falls to the mat!
VERITAS CLIMBS UP THE LADDER!! HE SCOOPS MEZ UP ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!!!
ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP OFF THE LADDER!!!
BUT X HAS THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE CHAMPIONSHIP IN HIS GRASP!!!
MONTY STRAIGHT SHOVES THE LADDER OVER!!! X FALLS TO THE GROUND…
.. WITH THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
The bell rings, and we have our inaugural Slaughterhouse Champion! X holds the title tightly to his chest as he lays on the mat! He’s done it!!!
Slaughterhouse goes off the air with X celebrating in the middle of the ring.
What a victory.