[The scene opens on a tightrope walker briskly but accurately walking along a tightrope, doing the usual trick of going backwards and forwards a little in the middle to give the idea of failure some sort of possibility in the viewers minds.]
“Ladies and Gentlemen! It is so great to see you back here at the magnificent Way & Co high top once more! Oh how I’ve MISSED your darling faces. You always leave it too long. TOO LONG!“
[He jabs his cane towards the camera with an intensity as he says this, then his features all calm down and relax again as he moves on.]
“Can you see my darling Felicia up there on the tightrope? Isn’t she just a DOLL. She is one of the stars of the show now, WHEN SHE’S NOT DRUNK OUT OF HER MIND, but it wasn’t always like that. When I first found her she could barely make it onto the rope, never mind off the other end, but given a little bit of love and attention AND SOME ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS she was able to turn it all around!”
[Incredibly, Klaus navigates his outbursts without breaking stride, and even more incredibly so does Felicia, who does not bat an eyelid as Klaus berates her.]
“Felicia reminds me of another small and slim friend. DREWITT.”
[Klaus seems overly pleased with his little joke.]
“They say life is like a tightrope, you know. I heard them say it with my own ears. And for the majority of his life to date Drewitt could not walk it. I’ve heard some stories about him, too, you know, tales of the great explorer. The mythical pilgrim who nobody knew anything about. The whisper in the wind! And the people lapped it up. BUT WHAT GOOD IS A CIRCUS ACT YOU CAN’T SEE!? It wasn’t long before people forgot him in the dark recesses of their mind.”
“Until he came to OSW.“
“When you go through life, you have to balance that tightrope. On one side, what you want. On the other, what Arcadia needs. And Drewitt’s little disappearing act was too much of the former and none of the latter. His balance had failed him. He’d taken the plunge to the left and fallen into the abyss. Luckily he landed in the safety net that is OSW, which stopped him continuing his fall into oblivion.”
“So he climbed back onto the tightrope, and became WAR. And this change led to something people did not see coming. Perfect balance.”
[Klaus balances his cane on his finger as he does this, finding the centre point perfectly first try.]
“As War, Drewitt has become an expert at sitting on the fence. At toeing both lines. At understanding that there has to be two sides in every story. In every war! And now he has mastered that tightrope. I see him walk it with panache. He is now PERFECT for Way & Co!”
“You know it makes sense Drewitt…”
“Welcome to the freak show, let us show you the way!”
[Curtain drop.]