When I started at the circus, I knew I wanted to create it in my own image. I knew I wanted to understand every facet of the big top. So I set myself a goal: I wanted to learn how to perform as many of the talents of my acts as I could. Like one of those ANNOYING business types who say “a good manager never asks his team to do anything he wouldn’t”, I thought knowing how each part of my act worked, I would have more CONTROL.

So I learned. Some were next to impossible, like contortionism – though I gave it my best shot, and spent many credits on chiropractors for a year or two. But some were interesting and intriguing to me, and none more so than the TRAPEZE.

Let me let you into a little secret, folks. I am PETRIFIED of heights. I go knobbly-knee’d, and sweat so hard my make-up starts to run. But I’d made that commitment to myself, so I knew I had to do it. The first day, I set my feet on the bottom rung of the ladder, then I went home, but soon, with resolve and determination, I started to get just a bit higher each time. One rung, two rungs, three rungs…

Suddenly, I had made it to the top of the ladder, and I stood looking out over a precipice. Only then did I realise, the hard work I had put in so far was only the start of this journey. The real work started then. So far all I’d done was climb a ladder, now I had to learn to fly.

We worked on handling the trapeze whilst stood atop the platform first, but it soon came to the day when I stood, toes right against the edge of that precipice, and the trapeze flew at me from across the gap, and everything I had worked for came down to one moment. I jumped, against my better judgement, terrified of the chasm below me.

And I caught it. I caught the fucking trapeze.

My time in OSW mirrors that journey closely. I’ve spent months climbing the ladder, each rung a harder step than the last, until I made it. Klaus Way, at the top of the pile, standing astride the mountain, having worked his rear end off. Now I realise that the hard work is just beginning. I stand now on a precipice as dangerous as the one I stood on back then, staring out into nothingness, a deep yawning chasm below me. I’m just as scared as I ever have been of the heights, except this time there’s no safety net. Nothing to catch me if I fall.

Suddenly, in the distance, just like the trapeze before it, I can see something appear. It’s a briefcase on a chain. Muscle memory kicks in and I know all I have to do is take that leap of faith, and catch it.

I steady myself. I take that leap, and reach out…

…and I’m grabbing that title shot just like I grabbed that trapeze.

The Wild Card flying high once more.