Wannabe Gangster (Better Go Back To Commack)

In Aurora, Promo by Aurora

“It is crazy how one little shift along the alphabet can make such a difference, eh? Take the word ‘mobster’. All you gotta to is move that first letter one place to the left, and you got a lobster. One is a crusty, hard-shelled, moronic brute that screams when you boil it, the other is a lobster. I’mma be real, I respect lobsters a lot more, plus they’re kinda cute.”

“You may be thinking, ‘bad mouthing a notorious gangster? Is Aurora all there?’ Let me assure you I am, because Gino is anything but. A gangster inspires both fear and respect with their name. A made man or woman doesn’t hide, they let everyone know who they are and wield power that makes them untouchable, regardless of how flagrant their misdeeds are. Gino? He fails to cap two people and hides like a worm when it hears the birds chirp.”

“Even worse… How can his name inspire anything other than ridicule when he can’t even stick to it? Is it Gino Carelli, Tony Vincino or Sammy Devito? I don’t give a shit, because you’re no Hal Capone, you’re not one of the Brays. All you are is a thug in a suit who thinks you’re something more, I’ve parkoured on children’s playgrounds more dangerous than you. Seriously, I’m not surprised you couldn’t finish Candy Kane, you’re probably never made a woman finish in your life, but Lionel Troy? Come on dude, he is more premature than Raven’s shit talk was. By the way, get clam-slammed you emo bitch.”

“And now, this supposed master of the underworld, whose word is law and who lives by his own code has to… Uh, come out of hiding to wrestle me because an ACTUAL don, Zeus, has decreed thus. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m a completely free lady, Arcadia has a power hierarchy that I’m not above. There are laws, there is a need for money, there’s politics at play, but at least I don’t pretend I have risen above all that. I make do when I need to and make memories when I don’t. You make bulletholes in walls and Ws in other people’s win columns.”

“Maybe I should wear a suit. Maybe I should talk like a bad 90s movie. Maybe I should grab a Thompson and act like a big shot, because if you can do that shit and still draw breath, how hard can it be? Compared to you, the world would be my oyster, and I would be giving whoever I want a pearl necklace. I could strike fear in the innocent, command respect from the wicked, wipe my ass with credits and live in a mansion people would make million-view youtube videos recreating in Minecraft. There’s one reason I don’t… I’m not a cunt.”

“I may not be a don, but I live by my code. My word may not be law, but my word is true. And most of all, I do not hide. I’m gonna beat that ass so sore you’d think you were already in jail, boy.”