In.
Feel it rush in through your nostrils. Focus on the moment. Note the grain of the wood on the chair with your finger tips. Cast the speculations, catastrophising and anxieties from your mind. You are here. You are alive. That is the important thing. Your job now is to continue it.
Out.
Feel your diaphragm relax. Notice your chest retract as the air leaves your lungs. Pay attention to the sensations of the body, not the troubles of the mind. Visualise yourself somewhere peaceful. A meadow, a snowy peak, a cosy rug two feet away from the fireplace.
In.
Let your breathing slow, and let your body follow suit. Your metabolism, your heartbeat, your racing thoughts… May they all go from a manic sprint to a leisurely walk. This is no time for fight or flight. In these binds, you can do neither… And that’s ok for now. Save your strength for when it is needed. For now, it isn’t. Be mindful of the present. Just… Relax.
Out.
Blaming yourself can come later. It serves no purpose right now. It is a lesson to be learned tomorrow, now we wait for that sun to rise. Now, ball your fists up, real tight. Feel the muscles clench and tighten, feel all your tension manifest in your extremities, and hold it. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. And release. Feel the tension drift away like an ebb tide, lapping on the beach sands. Now pay attention once more to your breathing.
In.
Every moment you remain calm is a victory. Every one of your bodies resources you save is a future triumph. You may feel helpless, defeated, but right now you are winning. He wishes to break you, but you are rock and not the flesh he is accustomed to carving. There will come a time when you will walk free once more, you just have to believe. Believe… And breathe.
Out.
Every breath is an affirmation you are alive. Every breath is a resistance against his desires. Jasper Redgrave is a killer… It is what he does. This oxygen diffusing into your bloodstream? He would deny you it. He has denied many before. But we both know you’re different, don’t we? Right now, he cannot deny you. Even at the snowy peaks, where the air is thin and biting cold… You breathe, you live. When you fall and the pain courses through your nervous system, you breathe, you live. You survive. You are a survivor. It is what you do.
In.
Every beat of your heart is an affront to him, and that is why you will make it. Every second that elapses where you have that fight in your spirit is a second that his fight leaves him. All you need to do… Is relax.
In…
And out.
In…
And out.
There is no fear. There is no worry. All there is… Is you. The blood coursing through your veins, the electricity pulsing through your muscles, and that sweet, sweet air. Just rest, my dear. Your time will come. His time will come.
Just rest… And breathe.