A Little Cockroach Problem

GravediggerGravedigger, Promo

Gravedigger stands in an old run down building, somewhere in the slums. Drugged men and women lounge about in various states of undress and semi-consciousness. The rooms are trashed, full of rubbish and various drug paraphernalia.

Something catches his eye. He turns to face it, watching it scurry across the ground.

“There’s a popular misconception around these little critters.”

He reaches down, putting his hand out for the critter to crawl on.

Cockroaches.

Gravedigger watches as the cockroach crawls over his hand.

“It’s incorrectly said that you can’t kill them.”

He scoffs.

“But they’re not immortal. They’re not invulnerable. They have a strong exoskeleton which can withstand significant pressure, so you can’t just step on one.

They can survive without vital body parts, regenerating limbs and can even live without their head for a time.”

Gravedigger looks truly impressed at it.

“They’re fast, resistant to certain pesticides and can detect threats.”

He puts the critter down.

“But contrary to popular belief, they can be killed.

It just takes the right… tool.”

The Valkyrie smiles, his sinister white teeth gleaming through the darkness.

“If I said you were a cockroach, Jackson, I don’t think many people would disagree. How often have you been brutally assaulted and yet somehow… survived. You’ve had your family taken from you like limbs. You’ve had significant pressure applied to you in every way imaginable, from the emotional to the physical.

Jasper Redgrave has been responsible for most of it, has he not?

Yet here you stand… tall and mighty. Defiant.

A real cockroach.

He seems almost impressed by that.

“There will be many in Old School Wrestling who think you can’t be stopped. They’ll think you’re invulnerable. They’ll believe this little Uprising of yours to be in good hands and I’m sure that makes you feel real good.

Hell, I bet you feel immortal, don’t you?

But cockroaches can be killed, Jackson. Boric acid is a powder that adheres to the cockroaches body and kill its when it preens itself. There’s a powder made of fossilized algae called diatomaceous earth that cuts through the cockroaches exoskeleton, causing it to dehydrate.”

Gravedigger shrugs.

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

He smiles.

“And I’m the way.

See, little cockroach, you might think yourself immortal, but we both know better, don’t we? The problem with that in this instance is that there’s two of us in this conversation and only one of us truly is.

It isn’t you.”

Gravedigger exits the building, a bag now revealed to be slung over his shoulder. Inside it are what could be hundreds of cockroach carcasses.

“OSW and Arcadia alike has a little cockroach problem…

… consider me the exterminator.”

He tosses the bag carelessly aside.