“What puts a smile on your dumb fuckin’ face?”
“Don’t be shy, everyone has a lil somethin’ that just makes their heart sing, right? A chill up the spine, a curl in the lip? Now, most folks in the Gathering? Their little bit of sunshine is the drugs up their nose, the neden on their dicks, and the drinks in their cups.”
“But that ain’t for everyone, is it?”
“Nah, look at Aurora Whorealis over here. She’s always seekin’ some kinda thrill, ain’t she? Jumpin’ off of ladders, wearin’ short skirts in dark alleys, that sorta thing just makes her heart pound in her chest. She likes the excitement, the uncertainty, and would love nothin’ more than to live her life on the edge every day.”
“Or maybe you’re a sick fuck like Klaus? He don’t get that smile painted on for anything less than a total freak show. Something disgusting, inhuman, and so bizarre that all of Arcadia would line up just to gawk at the grotesque. The more weird, strange, and gross it is the happier he gets. Ain’t that right?”
“But you know, while I ain’t get their brand of happiness, only one of you fucks really confuses me.”
“Mr. Sunshine.”
“You would love nothin’ more than to take everyone in Arcadia and give them the happiness you think they deserve, don’t ya? To hook your grubby little fingers under their lips and force it up into a smile for all the world to see. You hate to see people frown, you hate it when someone wants to bitch, pout, and growl.”
“Everyone just needs to indulge in something, get a hug, and be happy.”
“But what if what makes someone happy hurts other people, Sunny?”
“Say, taking a knife and sticking it six inches deep between their ribs, pushing deep until they start gurglin’ and beggin’ for their lives?”
“What if they get nothin’ but ecstasy when they crack open some deadbeat dad’s head with a baseball bat? Or when they take a fuckboy in spandex and knock him the fuck out in the middle of a party? Do they still deserve to smile, Sunshine?”
“After all, you want to turn that frown upside down, don’t ya?”
“Well, I have good news for you, my friend. See, that certain somebody is me… And I think I can make this whole fuckin’ match happy.”
“Because Aurora? She’ll get the thrill she wants when I start tearin’ into every last one of you. She’ll feel the fear, drink in the terror of a juggalo on a rampage.”
“And Klaus? What I’ll do to him will be so fucked up and weird that even he might not want the act in his freak show.”
“You can make me happy, Sunshine. You can make them all happy by letting me brutalize that dumb fuckin’ face of yours right there in the middle of the ring.”
“Nothin’ puts a smile on my face quite like violence.”
“Like spilling blood, breaking bones.”
“Face it.”
“You’ll only get my smile when everyone is downed by the clown.”