I’m Him

In Hatchet, Promo by Hatchet

“I’m ganna describe someone, I want you to guess who it is.”

“This guy is real fuckin’ evil, just absolutely sick and twisted in the head. Everyone that’s crossed his path, everyone who’s had his eye, has had their life fuckin’ ruined.”

“He don’t think twice about tearin’ a family apart, settin’ their home on fire, and pissin’ on the ashes for no reason other than lovin’ what he does. All the cryin’, pleadin’, and  bitchin’? It just fuels him.”

“A heart black as coal, a soul made of needles, and a smile on his face so sick it makes you wanna hurl.”

“This ain’t no ordinary man here, he ain’t a run of the mill thug. Nah, he’s the embodiment of Hell made very fuckin’ real. A motherfuckin’ prick to his very core. The devil himself. If you ever choose to make a deal with him, you best be ready to hold up your end of the bargain.”

“Now, tell me.”

“Who the fuck am I talkin’ about?”

“If you’re a fucktard, you might hear everything that came outta my mouth and you’d say that sounds like Nick Morningstar, wouldn’t ya?”

“But if you got two braincells to rub together, if you paid even a little attention, you’d know full well that the man I’m talkin’ about… Is me.”

“See, Nick, you’re new so let me give you the run down. You sit back and lure folks in to make your little deals, conning them out of their credits, trickin’ them into agreements they can’t back out of. Most folks see you and know by that smile on your face just how much of an asshole you are to your core.”

“I mean, if you’re ganna walk around callin’ yourself Satan, you better have the balls to back it up.”

“You and I both want the same thing, don’t we? We both just love to make bitches suffer then sit back with a drink and enjoy whatever we took from the poor fuck who crossed our paths. It’s just second nature.”

“But the difference between us is that while you walk around callin’ yourself the devil, I don’t gotta tell the world who I am, Nick.”

“Because I’m him.”

“The people who fuck with me? They don’t walk away from it with a broken heart and an empty pocket. Nah, they crawl away broken and bloody with their lives in pieces. I don’t need to call myself the devil because every last motherfucker I ruin does it for me.”

“I’m the real demon here, Nick. The Wraith, the embodiment of sin that makes your skin crawl and your piss burn just by talkin’ to him.”

“So if you’re ganna walk up in my domain, try to take my throne? Then I guess I’ll have to teach you a lesson, Nick.”

“Just like Fuckboy Arcadia, just like De-Cunto Boy, just like that crispy bitch Maxwell.”

“You’re ganna two things.”

“I’m the real devil here.”

“And eventually, everyone gets downed by the clown.”