[In the Doom lab, Felix Foley stands bopping to a beat.]
[Doom pipes up.]
[Doom] “He’s a nice guy!”
[Foley chimes in.]
[Felix Foley] “How ya doin’?”
[Rinse, repeat.]
[Doom] “He’s a nice guy!”
[Felix Foley] “Good to see you!”
[Doom] “He’s a nice guy!”
[Felix smiles, pearly white, big grin style.]
[Felix Foley] “I’m Mr. Nice guy, relationship advice guy. Meet your father with a firm handshake and pearly white smile guy. I’m the kinda guy that you meet in Agora, who flashes you a smile just because its morning.”
[Doom.. again, with a theatrical wave.]
“[Doom] He’s a nice guy!”
[Felix Foley] “I’m the nice guy, let me look after your kids kinda nice guy, not like the rest, kinda nice guy. I’m not a punching bag kinda nice guy, but the kind everyone likes to talk about kinda nice guy. I’m not a roll the dice guy, more like a play it safe, button down shirt kinda nice guy.”
[Doom.. again, with a theatrical thumbs up.]
[Doom] “He’s a nice guy!”
[Felix Foley] “Mr. Manners kinda nice guy. Escort your wife to the store kind of nice guy. No kissing on the first date kind of nice guy. No splitting of the bill, I pay the tab kind of nice guy. The friendzone kind of nice guy. The white rice kinda guy, play it by the book kinda nice guy.”
[Doom… again… fed up.]
[Doom] “He’s a nice guy!”
[Foley’s expression changes.]
[Felix Foley] “I’ve spent the entirety of my life being nice. From morning until night, I’d be the one guy with a smile on his face, no matter what happened. My pop beat me black and blue? Flash a bloody smile and say thank you. Failed an exam at school because I was in too much pain to sleep? Apology kind of nice guy. Have someone in a corridor, hall or level bump into me? I apologize for my misstep kind of nice guy.”
[He grimaces.]
[Felix Foley] “Oh, how clumsy of me.”
[His eyes narrow.]
[Felix Foley] “And now Scott Sterling or Zeus thinks Felix Foley vs. Mister Sunshine is the perfect match up. The battle of the nice guys. Only one winner. Someone must finish last – who will it be and how will the winner apologize for winning?”
[He shakes his head.]
[Felix Foley] “It says it on the fucking card, Sunshine. Nice guys finish last. So, that kinda leaves us with two options, doesn’t it? Be nice and lose or kick the other guy’s fucking head in and win.”
[The language coming out of Foley surprises Doom. This isn’t his usual verbiage.]
[Felix Foley] “You can be Mister Nice. You can be Mister Sunshine. The sun can shine out of your ass whilst I beat it around that ring. I’m okay with that. Because you, just like Zeus and just like Tombstone… you think us Foley’s are predictable, are nice… and I have had it up to here…”
[He points to his head.]
[Felix Foley] “With being nice.”
[He looks deeply into the camera.]
[Felix Foley] “If nice guys finish last, feel free to be Mister Nice.”
[He squints.]
[Felix Foley] “I’m gonna be Mister winner.”
[Foley turns and walks off, leaving Doom to wave.]
[Doom] “I told you, he’s a nice guy… sometimes.”