[Doom stands in the middle of a traditional garden maze.]
[DOOM] “The traditional garden maze proposes a conundrum to even the most intellectual of individuals. Granted, these kinds of people are few and far between in modern Arcadia, but I digress.”
[He turns to the person with him, Johnny Gomez.]
[JOHNNY GOMEZ] “This is an extraordinary place for an interview, Doom.”
[Doom nods.]
[JOHNNY GOMEZ] “Next week at into the maze, you face El Mariachi Muerte, Drewitt and Grimskull; Apokalypsis. Shouldn’t you be preparing with the rest of the Pool Guys?”
[Growl.]
[DOOM] “The Pool Guys? I hate it.”
[JOHNNY GOMEZ] “It does make one think of three studs in trunks, cleaning pools.”
[DOOM] “Perhaps it does for you, Jonathan. If that were the case, wouldn’t The Pool Boys be more apt?”
[JOHNNY GOMEZ] “I could pass it up the chain.”
[Doom looks at him, piercing hatred through his soul.]
[JOHNNY GOMEZ] “Or not. Or not!”
[DOOM] “Have you ever heard the expression, there’s more than one way to skin a cat?”
[DOOM] “My opponents this week find themselves in a maze of sorts with us, The Pool… yes. Now, as I said before, a maze created by anyone is a difficult prospect, but one featuring Doom is nigh on impossible to complete.”
[They begin walking.]
[DOOM] “Drewitt fancies himself an explorer, but as War, his methods are less explorative and more conducive to force. He’ll be trying to break his way through the maze. If he can cut through the ginormous hedge rows with brute force, he’ll bring war to the hedges that hold him. Inevitably, he will break through the other side, should he be able to manage enough sustenance for energy to do so.”
[Johnny touches a hedgerow.]
[JOHNNY GOMEZ] “It’d take some time to break through these.”
[DOOM] “Precisely. Grimskull on the other hand would hope he could talk his way out of it. He’d preach to anyone listening, hoping he’d convince them to aid him in reaching the exit. However, the chances of reaching someone willing to help you escape on the outside of the maze are highly unlikely. It’d be extremely difficult to conquest.”
[Johnny puts his hands to his mouth and yells.]
[JOHNNY GOMEZ] “HELLO!?”
[Silence.]
[DOOM] “See? As for El Mariachi Muerte, he’d hope he could hear his way to the exit. He’d be listening to the sounds in hopes they’d guide him but we both know that sounds are displaced from their environment and easily sound as if they are coming from somewhere else. A tree could fall behind us, but sound as if it happened up ahead.”
[JOHNNY GOMEZ] “It does sound like an impossible challenge for all three of your opponents, Doctor. But what makes it less difficult for you?”
[Doom laughs.]
[DOOM] “I don’t enter any maze without this…”
[He pulls out a map.]
[DOOM] “Unlike my opponents, I plot and plan every single detail. I know what the maze looks like, the dead ends and the path to the exit. I don’t need brute force, or my senses, to escape.”
[Johnny nods, naturally impressed.]
[DOOM] “That’s a metaphor, Jonathon. I plan every detail. Whether it’s a maze or match, all will bow before Doom.”
[Doom frog marches off towards the exit with Johnny Gomez chasing in tow.]
[JOHNNY GOMEZ] “Thank Zeus he’s not skinning a cat.”