“The funny thing about a lock, most people think you can’t open one without the right key.”
“Imagine you’re some dipshit who wants to keep all his credits nice and safe. If you think you’re smart, you’re ganna place the credits in a box and padlock it shut. You look all smug, pat yourself on the back, and fuck off thinkin’ that you’ve kept everything safe and secure. After all, that lock is shieldin’ all your goodies while you’re away.”
“Until someone with two braincells to rub together decides he wants what you got.”
“See, a lock only works as long as it’s in one piece. Just like a shield, all you gotta do to get past it is start swingin’ away. Sure, it’ll probably survive a few hits, maybe even chip your hammer. But nothin’ is invulnerable, and sooner or later it’s ganna give. A few good swings, one big fuckin’ chop, and the last line of defense between you and a payday falls gets busted wide open.”
“No matter how strong you think the lock is, how fuckin’ tough you want it to be, any dumb ass with a hammer and an afternoon can bust his way inside.”
“Then what do you got?”
“A broken lock and an empty box.”
“It’s real fuckin’ easy to break a lock, but that don’t mean I like ’em. They’re kind of a cock block, actually. But you know plenty about bein’ a fuckin’ cock block don’t ya, Cap? See, I’m still a little pissed about Ring of Dreams. Now, I had a nice, big box full of credits sittin’ in front of me. All I needed to do to get it was open the fuckin’ box.”
“You know, kill the roasted cunt and Destructo Bitch.”
“But you were there to shield ’em, huh? Slapped the lock right on that box and kept me from gettin’ some green in my hands.”
“Now you’ve spent the last few weeks bein’ a pain in my ass and I’m real tired of a fuckboy in spandex stoppin’ me from my payday. You’ve been so smug, ain’t ya? Just smilin’ while my boys and I beat you down? You think you’re the best god damn lock in Arcadia, that we can’t possibly pick you.”
“Well I’m far past tryin’ a pick, Captain Cuck. I’m goin’ right to the fuckin’ hammer.”
“You asked for a street fight, and now I’m finally takin’ my afternoon to bust that lock wide open.”
“Yeah, your shield may be tough, but hit anything enough times and it’ll break. You want a fight? I’ll beat you down in front of all of Olympus with a smile. Only there won’t be no broken lock by the time I’m done with you, Cap.”
“Nah, there’ll be a broken, bloody body. A broken shield, a shattered lock.”
“And once you’re out of the way? I can bust open that box and get the credits I’m owed.”
“Because like it or not?”
“Eventually, everyone gets downed by the clown.”