“Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!”
“This week, we’ll be talking about music!”
“With music in the air here in Old School Wrestling, I thought it prudent to hear from an expert on such matters. So, please allow me to introduce to you….”
“…Zander The Music Panda!”
“Welcome to the Zander Zane Experience, dipshits!”
“So, you want to know a little something about music, do you? Well you came to the right panda.”
“There was once a musician who awed audiences around Arcadia. No-one ever booed, jeered, or otherwise ignored him. He was the epitome of rock and roll.”
“Loved by all, admired by many and feared by some, the rock star’s ego grew to unbelievable heights.”
“It didn’t matter who he played his music to, his beautiful voice and powerful guitar would bring a smile to their faces.”
“Until one day; it didn’t.”
“At the end of one tremendous performance, the entire crowd applauded – except one man. That man stood at the back, his eyes wide open, his face expressionless.”
“The rockstar noticed immediately. The only person in the entire venue that wasn’t cheering was ever evident. So, he dropped off the stage, walked over to the man and played a brutal guitar rift right in his face.”
“Nothing happened.”
“The man just stood.”
“He belted out the highest acapella ballad he could, yet the man remained unfazed.”
“It didn’t matter what he sung or how he sung it, he couldn’t make the man react. He wasn’t cheering or screaming for him. He just stood there, expressionless.”
“That night was the end of the rockstar.”
“Because even though he was adored and admired by more people than he could ever dream to know; the one person at that moment he wanted to hear him, who he wanted to amaze, just couldn’t.”
“See, that man was deaf.”
“You’ve been amazing audiences in OSW for some time now, El Mariachi Muerte; I bet you’re getting quite the ego, aren’t you? All those adoring fans cheering and chanting your name, it must feel incredible.”
“And when you do step foot inside that ring, with your invasion case in hand, you must sense how awestruck everyone is by you. You must feel it.”
“But a musician isn’t a musician if there’s no-one there to listen.”
“The song doesn’t mean a thing if it can’t be heard.”
“And Felix here? Well, he’s the deaf old man at the show. He isn’t listening to your tune, or dancing to the beat of your drum. He’s the expressionless face that no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to impress.”
“He can’t hear the music – he’s wearing earplugs.”
“And he’s not afraid of the musician making it.”
“Isn’t that right Felix?”
“Felix?”
“Oi, you deaf old coot – I said isn’t that fucking right?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess so? I’m sorry, I didn’t hear a word.”
“Give them the Foley’s Thought, asshole.”
“Well children, that brings us to Foley’s thought. A beautiful tune is beautiful to those who hear it; but to those who don’t, nothing changes.”