WWF Smackdown #2 - Triple Threat
We cut from commercial and Triple H is standing in the middle of the ring with microphone in hand.
Triple H: So I'm facing Jeff Jarrett and Taka Michinoku tonight... correct me if I'm wrong but I did win my match last week right?
Some laughter eminates from the crowd.
Triple H: Hold on, this is no laughing matter. I'm being serious right now. Do you two really think you have a chance against the game? Against a real champion? Against a real man? You see when you're on TV Jeff, my girl clicks the remote and changes the channel. When I'm on TV, your girl clicks that vibrator you pretend she doesn't need and wonders why she settled for double when she could have had triple.
Triple H does the DX crotch chop to the crowds applause.
Triple H: Don't even get me started on you Taka, Funaki goes everywhere with you. Do you need him to please your girl too?
Triple H does a cheeky grin and a thumbs up.
Triple H: Indeed! Now do what your girls do, lay back and settle for how far you got with what little you have.
Triple H throws the mic down.
A room backstage, lit dimly by a thousand candles. The intimidating form of Kane dominates the frame alongside the wide-eyed figure of Paul Bearer, rubbing his hands with glee.
Paul Bearer: Ohh, yes! The flames of hell await, for Edge and Stone Cold shall feel the inferno's embrace!
Kane's eyes gleam with intensity as Bearer continues.
Paul Bearer: Edge, Stone Cold, you seek the wrath of the Devil's Favorite Demon? The fires that once consumed Kane's soul now yearn to engulf your flesh!
His maniacal laughter echoes out. He lifts a candle to his face.
Paul Bearer: The flames shall dance as they devour your very being. For fire is a hungry beast and must be fed.
He holds the candle up to Kane's mask.
Paul Bearer: Underneath this mask lies the horrors that tell of hellfire and brimstone. This week, Kane will unleash all those horrors onto you.
He draws a deep breath.
Paul Bearer: You will learn a new sensation, the likes of which you will never forget. The smell of burning flesh, a smell Kane knows all too well.
He looks up at the Devil's Favorite Demon, laughing shrilly.
Paul Bearer: OHH, YESSSSSS!
Kane steps forward, his menacingly mechanical voice emanating as he stares fire down the camera lens.
Kane: Burn… in… hell.
[Edge and Christian stand in the middle of the ring. Edge is wearing a bald cap and Christian a knock-off Kane mask.]
Edge: My name is Stone Bald Steve Aspirin and I need to talk to you about how I'm afraid of that freakin' awesome dude, Edge.
Christian: I like fire.
Edge: Tonight, I step into the ring with a star of HUGE magnitutions! Edge is the totally coolest dude I've ever met in my life. He has a glorious head of hair and must have sex with lots of women. Ol' Stone Bald is bald, ugly and surprisingly impotent. And we all know where the real Big Red Machine is, don't we?
[He points at his crotch.]
Edge: Kane, do you have anything to say in dispute of that?
Christian: I like fire and I have no genitals.
Edge: And that's the bottom line.
[Edge laughs.]
Edge: Now, for the benefit of those with flash photography...
[Flashes.]
[Edge takes off his bald cap.]
Edge: The WWF only has room for one World Champion and he won't reek of suckitude like Kane the cockless or Steve the hairless. Tonight, I'm going to beat Austin so badly, it'll restart his hair follicles. I will be your Champion and that... that reeks of awesomeness.
Barclays Center
Brooklyn, New York
WWF Smackdown kicks off with Jeff Jarret storming through the backstage area. He's looking for Deborah but no-one has seen her. He lays out a backstage worker with a guitar shot in a rage and walks into an unknown office that doesn’t have a nametag on the door.
Ringside:
Kurt Angle's music brings us to the ring in which the Olympic Hero has a microphone. He tells the Undertaker that their match at No Mercy is unfair and that if they make him go through with it, he’s not going to be held responsible for his actions.
He warns The American Badass that once he’s done beating The Rock and Bubba here tonight, next week he’ll become the WWF European Champion and he won’t be defending it against Taker. It’s true, it’s true.
Triple Threat Match
WWF European Championship Tournament
Kurt Angle vs. Bubba Dudley (w/ D'von) vs. The Rock
» Kurt Angle didn't want to get involved in the early, escaping to the outside and letting Bubba and The Rock duke it out. They had history after last week in which The Dudley's cost The Rock. A near fall by The Great One brought Angle in, who took advantage of a sneak attack to gain an advantage.
» D'von Dudley evened the odds, taking out the referee and nailed Kurt Angle with a 3D whilst the referee was down outside the ring. Bubba went for the Bubba Bomb on the Rock who reversed it, hitting a Rock Bottom. As he lined up for the People's Elbow, Taka Michino and Funaki ran in with a steel chair, clobbering him into an Olympic Slam. The referee returned, counted and Kurt Angle wins.
Winner and advancing to WWF European Championship Match: Kurt Angle
Backstage:
Stone Cold Steve Austin is getting ready for his match when Deborah enters his locker room. She says that they need to talk. Jeff was bailed out of prison last week and she’s been avoiding him ever since but he is looking for her.
Austin asks her if she knows where Double J was when Shawn Michaels, Ken Shamrock and Dlo Brown got taken out. She says that since she was with him, she has no idea at all. Austin thinks something fishy is going on.
Edge and Christian suddenly interrupt. Edge tells Austin that sleeping with another man’s girl is totally not cool. Christian gives him the eye about that, but whatever. He says that Austin is gonna find out the hard way tonight why E&C are awesome.
Triple Threat Match
WWF Championship Tournament – Round #1
Dude Love vs. The Undertaker vs. Y2J
» Triple H decided to watch this one on commentary, claiming that he suspected one of these three to be the man who maimed his friend Shawn Michaels. The brawl suited Undertaker and Dude Love, who took out Jericho early and focused on one another. As Jericho came back into the match with a Bulldog to The Undertaker, a Lionsault followed, only Dude Love pulled down the ropes and forced him to the outside instead.
» Triple H then left commentary, kicked Jericho low and dropped him with a Pedigree on the outside. Undertaker looked for the Chokeslam on The Dude, who reversed it, nailed a Double Arm DDT and picked up the win over an old foe.
Winner and advancing to WWF European Championship Match: Dude Love
Ringside:
Kurt Angle slides back into the ring with his steel chair and goes to town on The Undertaker, slamming chair shots into him left and right. He goes for the ankle lock, looking to make sure that Undertaker can’t make it to No Mercy when fire suddenly erupts from the turnbuckles.
Kane storms out from behind the curtain, causing Kurt Angle to run for his life in terror. He helps his brother back to his feet, but instead grabs him by the throat and nails him with a Chokeslam.
As the fans boo, Angle chuckles and Kane stands tall over his brother in the middle of the ring.
Triple Threat Match
WWF Championship Tournament – Semi-Final
Jeff Jarrett vs. Taka Michinoku (w/ Funaki) vs. Triple H
» Taka Michinoku and Triple H had been previously busy tonight, which left Jeff Jarrett with free reign to... not show up. That's right. Double J wasn't here at the start of this one and it was Triple H left dominating Taka. After a running Knee Strike and a series of Suplexes, HHH looked to put him away with a Pedigree.
» That was duly interrupted by the music of Chris Jericho who distracted him long enough for Jeff Jarrett to make his appearance with a Low Blow. Jeff hit the Stoke and covered, picking up the win.
Winner and advancing to the final: Jeff Jarrett
Backstage:
Dude Love enters the locker room of The Rock, who was once again cost his match – this time by Kaientai. Dude tells The Great One that it looks like he needs a tag team partner to watch his back. He suggests The Rock & Sock connection reunite for one night only at No Mercy to handle the two midgets.
The Great One thinks about it and tells Mick Foley that whilst he doesn’t need his help, he’s had enough of jumped up slanty eyed midgets and incestuous brothers costing him matches. He agrees and The Rock & Sock Connection are reunited for No Mercy.
Triple Threat Match
WWF Championship Tournament – Semi-Final
Kane vs. Edge (w/ Christian) vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
» The Main Event was quite the action packed affair, but fell apart very quickly. The Dudley's were the first out, attacking Christian at Ringside which distracted Edge who came to his brothers aid. This brought out Kaientai, who attacked The Dudley's, complaining that the deal they made last week to defeat The Rock wasn't properly honoured, when it clearly was.
» With all three teams brawling, that left Kane and Austin to their own devices. The Big Red Machine had Austin setup for a Tombstone when The American Badass showed up. The Undertaker hit his brother repeatedly with a steel chair to break his grip, leaving Austin to nail a stunner for the win.
Winner and advancing to the final: Stone Cold Steve Austin
Ringside:
After all hell broke loose in that match, The Dudley's, Kaientai and E&C are joined by The Rock and Sock Connection. All four teams brawl through the crowd and towards the backstage area, leaving Stone Cold Steve Austin alone in the ring.
He climbs the turnbuckle to celebrate, only to be met by a guitar shot to the back by Jeff Jarrett, who came from under the ring. Jarrett lays out Austin in the middle of the ring and applies the figure four leglock whilst Vince McMahon appears on the tron.
With Austin screaming in agony, Vince tells him that the No Mercy WWF Championship Match will be No Hold's Barred and that he'll be the special guest referee, after all, he was the one who bailed Jarrett out.
Smackdown goes off the air with Austin screaming in agony and Vince chuckling.