“Mr. Foley is unable to join us today, children – he’s a little under the weather.” “But my name is Marvellous Mr. Mammon and I’ve been asked to step in.” “Today, I’d like to tell you a story.” “There was … Read More
Tommy The Hawk
“Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Damien Wolfe has one of my friends. He’s holding the Conservator hostage until Invasion and I’m afraid of what he might do. Damien, I know there’s an evil within you, and I … Read More
Sandy The Tooth
“Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Dental hygiene is extremely important. If you don’t brush your teeth regularly, you may end up with tooth decay. Don’t listen to me though, children; listen to my good friend Sandy The … Read More
Deathly Dan
“Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Death is a very final and terrifying thing, children. I know that sometimes, people like Jasper Redgrave can scare you, so I’ve brought a friend to help you understand.” “Please meet Deathly … Read More
Juggalo Jack
“Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Our friends at the police are there to protect and serve.” “It’s their job to make sure they catch criminals and put them behind bars to protect Arcadia.” “So today, I’ve asked … Read More
Pistol Pete: Mountains
Felix Foley: “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” Felix Foley: “Unfortunately, the unusual events last week at Clash has left me feeling a little… under the weather.” Pistol Pete: “So Pistol Pete be takin’ the fuck over.” Felix … Read More
Sex Ed: Photography
Felix Foley: “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” Felix Foley: “Today, boys and girls, my good friend Polly Parrot has asked to join us to talk about a very important topic; pst, it’s photography in sex education.” Polly … Read More