Category Archive

[Felix Foley] “Fathers are tough.” [Felix Foley] “I know how it feels, Tombstone. You probably ferried my old man some time ago – I wonder what he said about me?” [Felix Foley] “I wonder if he showed remorse for the … Read More

[The door is locked.] “C’mon..” [I’m panicked.] “C’mon!!” [The handle rattles but won’t open.] [Quickly, turn around.] [Swipe.] [I barely duck it. The swing of a baseball bat at my head misses and connects with the door, splintering the wood.] … Read More

[In the middle of the woods, Felix Foley sits under a large tree with a massive bag on the ground.] [Felix Foley] There was a long kept tradition in my family. My grandfather used to take my father hunting. They’d … Read More

[Felix Foley stands in a supermarket, wearing a green apron and a name badge that says HI, I’M FELIX.] [It’s a memory.] “I had a few jobs before I found my calling.” “They didn’t always work out so well, ya … Read More

[Court.] [Felix Foley sits in the jury section of Court, alongside twelve other people… who’re all Felix Foley, superimposed in various male and female costumes.] [Doom sits on the bench as Judge, a gavel in his hand.] [The prosecutor steps … Read More

[Echoes] [My mom, terrified.] “He fell down the stairs and bumped his head. He won’t wake up. Please Doctor, please save him.” [Beep. Beep. Beep.] [Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.] [Clear.] [Clear.] [Beep. Beep. Beep.] “Your son is alive, but we’ve placed him in … Read More

“My life has been one ginormous Pandora’s Box.” “I feel like it was opened at birth.” [A baby Felix screams and cries.] “My pop always said I was born with a disease. The Doctors didn’t find anything, but he called … Read More

[Many Years Ago.] [He wasn’t always a bad man.] [There was a time when I remember him sitting up in my bed with me, my head on his chest, stroking my hair.] “Ring-a-ring-a-rosies, a pocket full of posies. A tissue, … Read More

[Many Years Ago.] [Weeping] [I did a lot of that.] [Sat on the edge of my bed with an ice pack held against my forearm. My mom sits with me, her head lowered. She weeps too.] “I don’t know what … Read More

[Click.] [A VHS tape whirs.] [Play.] [Many Years Ago.] [Children cheer enthusiastically.] [They all sit on a colorful mat of the alphabet, clapping their hands together as Felix stands on the stage.] “Welcome one and all to Felix Foley’s funhouse!” … Read More