Category Archive

[Static.] [Images flash on a screen.] [Sat in the playground at school.] [A bloody nose. Boy, did that hurt.] “You can’t beat me Foley. I’m bigger, stronger and faster than you. No wonder you show up every day with all … Read More

[Hide. Come on, hide.] Just choose somewhere. [Quickly. Come on…] I can’t hide in the closet. That was the first place he looked last time. [What about behind the curtains?] He’d be able to see my feet. This bedroom just … Read More

Forty Years Ago. Age: 12. “Felix, I’m gonna have to call your father.” [The Principle said with his hands clasped and elbows on the table.] “He’s going to want to know what happened to you today and your mom isn’t … Read More

Felix Foley: My daddy wasn’t a nice man. Felix Foley: He was angry and in pain. It was constant. Nothing ever made him happy – not even hurting me. Felix Foley: And boy, did he used to hurt me a … Read More

Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse! I’d like to tell you a story about a mirror. Two men were each given a mirror and told that it would change their lives. They took it home and decided what … Read More

Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!  Today, I’ve brought a very good friend along to tell you a story. His name is Darby Don’t Die and oh boy, does he have a tale for you. Take it away, … Read More

“Hi, my name is Felix Foley and calling about the advert in the newspaper? You said you can forge performers for war in the industry?” “I can be there in an hour. Am I okay to bring my friends?” “That’s … Read More

“Welcome one and all to the Foley funhouse!”  “Tonight, I’m joined by my very good friend Fatso Moses. How’re you doing, Fatso?” “Hungwy.” “Of course. I asked you along today to talk to the children. Are you ready?” “You mean … Read More

“Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!” “Today, my friends and I would like to talk to you about pain, children.” “And I have just the guy to tell you a story. His name is Cocaine Zappa.” [puff] “It’s … Read More

“Welcome one and all to a very special edition of the Foley Funhouse.” “Today we’re putting on a very special show.” “So sit back and enjoy… Puppetmonium!” “Hey there, my name is Gullible Gemini and I’m really confused; where are the … Read More