In Felix Foley, Promo by Felix Foley

[Felix Foley stands in a supermarket, wearing a green apron and a name badge that says HI, I’M FELIX.]

[It’s a memory.]

“I had a few jobs before I found my calling.”

“They didn’t always work out so well, ya know? When I worked at the Supermarket, I did all sorts of jobs. I was a cashier for a time. Taking people’s credits seemed simple enough. It only took giving someone the wrong amount of change and that was enough. I was fired.”

[Sad face.]

“Taking people’s credits is always easy, isn’t it Colt? You’d know all about that. How many backhanded payments of credits did you take over the years to bury the lead? Did Zeus pay you to lie to us all these months about the danger we were in? Danger you knew full well about all along.”

[Felix Foley stands in a janitorial closet, wearing a dark green jumpsuit and holding a mop.]

“I was a janitor for a while too.”

“Cleaning up other people’s messes isn’t fun at all. I remember this one room I had to clean was full of all sorts of vomit and faeces. It was a nightmare. It took me hours to clean and I didn’t do a very good job. I put in the effort, it just wasn’t enough. I was fired from that too.”

[Sad face.]

“How long have you been cleaning up people’s messes, Colt? Caesar XL, TEC, Zeus and Narcissa. I know the people of Arcadia hate you and have lost trust in you, but I know you were just doing your job. You were cleaning up after those who paid you to do it. What choice did you have but to do your job?”

[In the office of Damien Wolfe, Felix Foley sits with his head bowed.]

“And then I was fired from the job I loved most – entertaining the children of Arcadia.”


“I know what it’s like to get fired from a job, Colt Ramsey.”

“I know what you must be feeling right now.”

“But sometimes getting fired from a job you love or hate is the best thing in the world. Sometimes it makes you take a different direction, makes you new friends and changes your life. Every job I was fired from led me to this match, to this moment, to a friendship with Doom and a growing friendship with Destructo Boy and The Burned Man.”

“It has led me to teaming with the OSW World Heavyweight Champion. Sheesh. Do you know how much of an accomplishment that is?”

“Who knows what getting fired might do for you?”

[Felix shrugs.]

“I mean… after the match this coming week.”

“Because the loss against us won’t do you any mental favors.”

“After that though, turn that frown upside down, buckaroo. Who knows what the future might hold now that you’ve been fired?”

“Arcadia is full of opportunity.”

“You just have to seize it.”