Sex Ed: Photography

In Felix Foley, Promo by Felix Foley

Felix Foley:  “Welcome one and all to the Foley Funhouse!

Felix Foley: “Today, boys and girls, my good friend Polly Parrot has asked to join us to talk about a very important topic; pst, it’s photography in sex education.”

Polly Parrot: “Thanks Felix!”

Polly Parrot: “When a man and a woman love each other very much, things can often get physical.”

Horny Harry the Hornet: “Yeah, lioke fuckin’ chokin’ a bitch and shit. Yeah, that shit gets me rock ‘ard.”

Felix Foley: “Why hello Harry the Hornet, this a surprise.”

Polly Parrot: “Anywho, there may come a time when a man wants to take photographs of the woman. He wants to catch her at her most vulnerable and intimate.”

Horny Harry the Hornet: “Yeah, lioke bent over with her fuckin’ asshole spread. Yeah!”

Polly Parrot: “I’m here to tell you, that’s not a good idea. Letting a man take photographs of your private parts requires a lot of trust and should you trust the wrong person, you might find your pictures spread amongst all the puppets in Felix’ employ.”

Felix Foley: “Wait, what?”

Horny Harry the Hornet: “Crikey, gimmie a break will ya? They call ya promiscuous Polly for a reason. I ain’t the only one to ride those feathers, Sheila. All I did was take a picture of ya whilst ya were on the dunny.”

Polly Parrot: “Then you showed it to everyone, you son of a bitch. They’ve all seen my.. private parts, because of you. You told me photography was a hobby; not that you were gonna take a picture of my-”

Horny Harry the Hornet: “Arsehole? That photo was bonzer, mate. I got it just as shite fell from ya puckered lil hole.”

Felix Foley: “Oh dear. I think what Polly is trying to say here kids, is that those who take photographs need to be trusted. Colt Ramsey takes a lot of responsibility with every photograph; not just the picture itself. What he then does with the pictures makes a great deal of difference, not just to the person who they’re taken of, but to who ends up seeing them as well.”

Felix Foley: “If he were to take a photograph of the wrong thing or person, and then should that end up in the wrong hands, a lot of people could get hurt.”

Horny Harry the Hornet: “So, you’re sayin’ that I shoulda took a less personal photo? Like what, Polly goin’ yakka on my knob or something? A little bit of skully, instead?”

Felix Foley: “No Harry, I’m not saying that you should’ve taken photographs of her giving you ‘Grim’skull, as the teens call it. What I’m saying is that not all photographs are for public consumption; not everything needs to be shared around.”

Polly Parrot: “Like my asshole, you bastard.”

Felix Foley: “Precisely. Colt Ramsey needs to know that there’s a line you shouldn’t cross in photography and if he agrees to the terms set to him by Caesar XL, then he may find himself in a similar position to you, Harry.”

Horny Harry the Hornet: “What?”

Squawking intensifies as Polly Parrot attacks Harry the Hornet.

Felix Foley: “So, there you have it, kids – a little bit of photography sex education.”

“Photography can be all kinds of beautiful; but it also has a deep sense of responsibility. Should you make the wrong decision, well, you might just end up showing someone you’re a puckered butthole, or you might just end up getting hurt. Take note, Colt Ramsey.”