When you have practiced as long as I have, you learn one common thread amongst all your clients.
All their problems and all their disorders are all too commonly a reflection of a life they have long tried to separate themselves from.
For instance, one young girl, let’s call her Sarah to protect her identity, had a tumultuous life from the moment she entered this world.
Her mother and twin sister died during childbirth and from that day, her father resented her more than he ever loved her.
He wanted her to feel the pain she caused all of them.
Her body became his canvas covered in a disturbing array of violet and ebony.
His loss and anger was his muse the moment he felt she knew the difference between right and wrong.
If it wasn’t her body he was destroying, it was the home around her.
Every day was a mixture of walking on eggshells and walking around broken glass.
Fast forward to being a young adult lucky to escape her childhood prison, the chaos wasn’t close to ending.
She worked just enough for exactly two things, the rent of her apartment in the slums and the drugs to get her through her so-called life.
She was so used to the chaos of her childhood, she needed medication to change her relationship with her new reality.
If her outside world wasn’t chaotic, at least her mind could be.
It wasn’t enough, she started dating men worse than her father who didn’t abuse her because of a loss I don’t wish on anyone but because they saw her as a plaything they could just use and in her deranged state, she not only tolerated it but fetishized the pain.
She fell for a man who got her mind-altering substances she had never seen before.
It opened her mind sure but it soon shut doors of any chance she had at a decent life. She couldn’t maintain a job, she got money in any way she could either being his runner or being his prostitute.
She eventually got caught, got put into probation, and as a condition of her arrangement, she got put into court-appointed therapy.
That’s how our paths intertwined.
Hearing about her life, it was real easy to give her the same diagnosis I’m about to give you, Ms. Eris, an addiction to chaos.
Her life was the very reflection of the one she ran away from and so is yours.
You ran away from the hustle and bustle of the concrete jungle into a literal one.
You thought you were free from that world until the natural world gave you a chance to jump back to it.
You’ve consumed chaos your whole life, the fruit is just a literal representation of your life’s diet.
Just like Sarah, your chase for chaos leads to me.
Just like her, I will help you stop chasing chaos and see the joy in a healthy life filled with order you’ve never experienced.
You will see what the addiction blinded you from.
Order will bring you more joy than chaos ever could.
How does that make you feel?