Helloooo, laaaaadies!
The Big Rambowski knows a thing or two about endurance. You see, I was brought into Arcadia with the name Colt, and if you ask the ladies they’ll tell you…I am hung like a horse.
My previous line of work had me handling a nice looong lens, which made it easy to capture every beautiful detail of the fine specimens I worked with in my day…and lemme tell you, they loved how close I could get to them.
My portfolio was long, strong, and a badge of honor for my reputation. Everybody loved my work, and they really loved how deep The Big Rambowski was willing to go to get to the bottom of a story.
You could almost say I was blessed to be big where it counts most, and being this big has its ups and downs. Joining the Church of Zion has meant putting my sin to bed, and I plan to do just that…and I’ll take my sweet, sweet time.
When you’re as endowed as The Big Rambowski, you learn very quickly to pace yourself. If you go at it too quickly, you reach your peak far earlier than you planned, and you know what they say…easy come, easy go.
The rest of the men in Olympus wish they had the endurance that The Big Rambowski has. You have those who show a lot of promise but drop off way too quick…and those who can’t keep up the pace when it matters most. That’s not a problem for The Big Rambowski, though!
I can go as loooong as it takes. I’ve spent hours on end honing my craft, stretching the muscle that matters most…so sixty minutes is more than enough time to get the job done. It’s just a shame that some fellas can’t say the same for themselves…ain’t that right, Spiros?
You go around calling yourself Great, but can you last long enough where it matters? What makes you think you can step into that ring and keep up with The Big Rambowski for an hour, much less beat him?
This marks your in-ring debut in OSW, and that makes me wonder if you can hang with the big boys…because believe you me, Spiros, this Iron Man match means The Big Rambowski gets to showcase just how hard his determination is!
When five minutes have passed, I will leave you breathless. After ten, I’ll leave you sweating. Twenty minutes down, and you will be crying to your momma with all the regret in Arcadia…and we won’t even be halfway through.
That’s where the real action starts, Spiros. You’ll be crawling away, showing that you can’t measure up to The Big Rambowski…and he will laugh in your face at your shortcomings.
By the time those sixty minutes are up, Arcadia will realize just how small Spiros The “Great” really is. You will be left to hide in shame while everyone gives The Big Rambowski a pat on the back…among other places.