TORN
SOMEWHERE ELSE

[Click.] [Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.] [Darkness.] [A pale green light thrashes back and forth throughout the darkness, piercing the black with its tremendous vibrancy. At the handle, wielding such a light, is Darkstar. The Devourer slams the sword through wooden training blocks, slicing them in two.] [The power is unbelievable.]

“Can you feel it?” [He asks Vigilkeeper.] “The power coursing through you is unlike anything you’ve ever felt, isn’t it? I feel it too.”

[The Sword doesn’t respond.]

“You’ve yet to taste the blood of humanity, have you? Their sweet scented nectar has yet to trickle down your glimmering blade. When it does, you’ll know that you belong by my side, Vigilkeeper.”

“Enough!”

[An unexpected voice forces Darkstar to swivel, sword raised. Behind him stands Berengar and to say he’s displeased would be an understatement. The Knight stands valiantly, his chest puffed out and his eyes focused on his sword.]

“Ah, I see you found me, Knight.”

[Berengar steps forward.]

“No, I found my broadsword,” [he retorts.] “Hand it over you vile creature, or I won’t be held responsible for my actions. You won’t destroy this world like you have so many others.”

[The Devourer laughs.]

“I have your weapon and I have your only means to retrieve it. This is a quest you simply cannot complete, Berengar.”

[The Knight reaches out.] [His hand begins to shake powerfully.] [And suddenly, Vigilkeeper is ripped from the hand of Darkstar – a force of unknown origin whipping it through the air and back into the hands of its rightful owner.] [Darkstar looks down at his hand in shock.] [Berengar then drives it forward, only the tip stops at the midsection of the Devourer. They lock eyes, unsure of what’s happening.]

“I-I can’t,” [Vigilkeeper says, refusing to pierce him.] “I’m sorry.”

[A light suddenly beams from above, shining down on Berengar and Vigilkeeper. Within moments, they vanish into the night’s sky.] [Sleipnir.] [Darkstar looks up into the night sky, a wry smile on his face. Whatever happened here tonight, Vigilkeeper is torn between two masters. What power does the Devourer hold over it?] [Cut.]

SHADOW VS. THE INFORMER
SINGLES MATCH

[Tonight we have a battle between The Informer, a shadowy news reporter, and Shadow, a guardian of all that a tabloid might exploit. Who will win? The New King of Sting, or the Avenging Angel?] [The two men circle each other, before rushing in for a tie up. Shadow breaks and sweeps behind the Informer, wrapping him up from behind. The Informer does the same, before hitting the mat and dropping Shadow with a drop toe hold! The Informer immediately goes for Breaking News, but Shadow panickedly scrambles towards the ropes and forces the break! The Informant releases and Shadow climbs to his feet. The Informant charges him! Back body drop! The Informant flies out of the ring and falls to the outside.] [The Informant reaches his feet and looks up just in time to fall prey to a SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICK from Shadow! Both men hit the ground but the Informer took the worst of it. Shadow climbs to his feet and grabs the Informer, who traps Shadow and drops him with a SINGLE ARM DDT!!] [Both men lay on the ground breathing. Finally the Informer reaches his feet. He grabs Shadow and slides him into the ring. The Informer climbs up onto the apron, POW!! ANGEL BEAT!! RIGHT ON THE INFORMER’S KISSER!! The Informer barely hangs onto the ropes, visibly dazed as he reaches his feet. ANGEL BEAT!! AGAIN!! ANOTHER SUPERKICK!! THE INFORMER FALLS OFF THE APRON TO THE GROUND!!] [Shadow grabs the top rope. The Informer is in perfect position!! SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH–NO!!! HOLY SHIT THE INFORMER COUNTERS WITH A CODEBREAKER!! OUT OF NOWHERE!! SHADOW IS KNOCKED OUT COLD!! The Informer stands and quickly rolls Shadow into the ring. He slides under the bottom rope and approaches Shadow, who quickly meets him with a small package roll up!! One… Two… THREEE!!] [DING! DING! Shadow has his arm raised in victory, absorbing the Informers best shot and matching him blow for blow to the end.]

DESPERATE TIMES
RECORDED EARLIER

[Previously Recorded.]

“NEWTON!”

[D’Von Chambers is on his knees at a black altar. The Sigil of Baphomet stands tall behind him as the voice of Edward Newton speaks out of a recording.]

“And of course, since we are all here, God did not allow Lucifer to continue his destruction of Earth.”

[The crestfallen Chambers grabs at the ripped shards of the projector screen, ripping them down around him. He roars to his feet, throwing the altar across the empty sanctuary.]

“I don’t believe I need to pose you fine people a riddle for you to deduce Reverend Chambers’ true affiliations.”

[Chambers rips one of the Baphomet heads from the wall, and throws it at the projector set up by Newton, ripping it from the wall to the floor.]

“Perhaps you will spend your hard-earned money in a better way than…”

[CRUNCH!] [D’Von’s boot splits the broken projector as Chambers seems ready to overflow with rage at what Newton has done to him. Step by step, D’Von throws black benches at the nearest wall, each one silently damning the name of Edward Newton to the deepest pits of hell. Chambers rushes out the door to see the exhaust trail of the last member of his congregation growing as the field is now barren of cars, save the damaged Cadillac of Chambers himself.]

“Nothing. I’ve got nothing.”

[Chambers turns and walks back into the building, flinging his arms out in the middle of the aisle as he goes to his knees once again.]

“Oh merciful Lord…”

[Chambers ceases his prayer as his eyes lock onto one of the overturned objects.] [A burning candle.] [He never finishes that prayer, instead letting a smile form over his face.] [Cut.]

QUINN & MYSTERION VS. WASHINGTON & GAIA
TAG TEAM MATCH

[Tonight on VHS, two odd couples face off against one another as the Teacher and The Super Villain fight The Kingpin and Mother Earth itself] [The bell sounds as Washington and Mysterion start off for their teams, the bigger Washington stunning Mysterion with a hard uppercut before doubling him over with a trio of hard knees to the gut. A stiff right hook puts Mysterion out on his feet before a massive clothesline turns him inside out. Mysterion staggers up to his feet as Washington rushes forward, WATCH YO…Mysterion ducks, grabbing Nate by the head before leaping off the ropes. TORNADO BULLDOG!] [Mysterion doesn’t cover, instead heading up to the top rope as he sizes Washington up for a moment, MASTER PLAN..HITS KNEES! Mysterion staggers up holding his gut, WATCH YO MOUTH! That massive knee may have knocked out Mysterion as Washington tags out to Gaia. Mother Earth climbs into the ring as the super villain slowly gets to his feet as she rushes forward with a flurry of strikes and knees before a huge Muay Thai Knee connects with a huge crack. as Gaia muscles Mysterion down for the cover. ONE…TWO…MYSTERION JUST GETS THE SHOULDER UP!] [Mysterion slowly stumbles to his feet as Gaia stalks him from behind, trying to lock in the Saurian Sleeper but Mysterion manages to flip out, drilling Gaia into the mat with a Snap DDT! The Super Villain staggers to his feet, finally tagging in Quinn who rushes into the ring like a house on fire, laying into Gaia with a series of lefts and rights before dumping her on her head with a German Suplex. Gaia rolls to her feet but Quinn slides under a Muay Thai Strike, as a hard dropkick to the back sends her into Washington. Gaia stumbles forward, CLASS DISMISSED! Mysterion flies across the ring taking Washington to the floor as Quinn covers, ONE..TWO…THREE!!!] [The Tutor and Super Villain pick up the duke here tonight, despite their differences they proved to be an incredible team here against formidable foes]

THE DEAL III
[Somewhere Else.] [Light clouds whip across the dark night sky. The wind whistles, twisting around the intertwined metal of the chainlink fence quietly closed behind the black sedan that chugs as it idles on the dirt path leading towards an old, disused warehouse.] [The car door closes behind Luke Cole as he sits back in the passenger seat. Driving; Nate Washington.]

“Y’ready, man?” [Nate asks.] [Luke reaches between his feet and picks up a large metal briefcase. He places it on his lap and pats it.]

“Ready..”

[Cole opens the door, but Nate places his hand on Cole’s forearm. Cole turns back to look at his nemesis-turned-business-partner.]

“Yo, take this, man.”

[Cole places a beretta on top of the metal briefcase. The two metals scratch against each other as Cole lets go of the car door and grabs the gun.]

“Cheers. Yeah. Cheers, Nate.”

[He clambers out of the car, briefcase in one hand, beretta being tucked into the back of his waistband with the other.] [He walks the hundred meters to the entrance of the warehouse and dips inside the large, ajar door. A man, shrouded by the darkness, flanked by two men, is waiting.]

“Here you go.” [Cole says in a friendly tone, tossing the briefcase on the ground in front of him.] [A henchman steps forwards, presenting Cole with a briefcase, open, and filled to the brim with cash. On top of the money is a single key.]

“Nice one. Where’s the back door?” he asks, swiping the key and closing the briefcase.

[The henchman indicates the direction with a jerk of his head.]

“Thanks.”

[Cole pulls the beretta out of his waistband as he meanders to the back door. He fires three shots into the air and hears the immediate squealing of tyres as Nate Washington abandons him.] [He leaves through the back door and hops in a waiting car, tossing the briefcase onto the passenger seat and peels off. Just in time to pass, heading in the opposite direction, a wide-eyed and snarling Nate Washington. To whom, he waves.]

NOVAN VS. CHAMBERS VS. SOLVEIG VS. HAPPY
FATAL FOUR WAY MATCH

[It’s a fatal-4-way match tonight, but D’Von Chambers looks positively irate!] [The bell sounds and D’Von Chambers just clobbers Happy with a huge haymaker! The Happiest Man on Earth hits the floor hard before Chambers continues the onslaught. Troy Solveig grins at the intensity before ramming Novan into the corner with a shoulder charge! He begins pounding on Novan who is quickly trying to go on the defensive. Front of head strikes from Novan, but Troy is just battling through the impacts. He’s not even trying to dodge it really. He headbutts Novan before grabbing him and turning him upside in the tree of woe! ODIN’S WISDOM! It’s at this point that he holds his temple which is suddenly throbbing.] [Chambers finally gets off of Happy who is clutching his head in pain. He turns around and sees Troy before charging him. Double axe handle to the back knocks Troy into the ropes. Chambers lumbers towards Solveig who lowers a shoulder and LIFTS Chambers over the ropes and to the floor! Troy looks down at Novan who is hanging upside down before springing off the second rope with his fist reared back… VALKYRIE! NO! Novan sits up to dodge the blow before turning around on the top rope. Troy gets to his feet. FROG SPLASH! The impact knocks both men to the mat!] [Happy staggers to his feet clutching his head as he looks pretty rough. He sees everyone down as a familiar grin returns to his face. He leaps into a cover on Novan! One…Two…KICKOUT! Happy looks a little surprised before his eyes narrow in on Troy. He covers him! One…TwoKICKOUT! Troy powers out barely at two! Happy rushes towards the ropes and begins readying his boot as he stomps it down. SHADOW KICK TO TROY! But he catches it! Troy looks at him with a smirk of his own before pulling him into a lariat! He grabs up Happy over his head and sends him forward! INTO CHAMBERS ON THE APRON! Both of those men tumble to the floor outside as Novan gets to his feet. Troy charges him before leaping up with a big punch! VALKYRIE! The superman punch connects as he covers Novan. One…Two…THREE!] [Troy Solveig continues his dominance in OSW here tonight with a big win over these three competitors.]

TO DO WHAT’S RIGHT I
RECORDED EARLIER

[Post VHS #147.] [Miami Dade Medical Centre.] [Suffering from dehydration, bruises and open wounds, Redmond Quinn is finally in the best place for his health; the hospital. Sat alongside him in a private room, watching him get bandaged up, is none other than Kane Doeburn.]

“You should’ve came here sooner,” [Kane says with disappointment.] “They tried to kill you, Teach. You shouldn’t have fought tonight.”

[Redmond winces in pain.] “Look kid, it’s difficult to explain.”

“Explain?” [He asks.] “You told me they took something from you but refused to explain what. It isn’t difficult to explain; you just haven’t tried.”

[The nurse finishes off his final bandage and quickly leaves the room. Quinn sits up uncomfortably, looking at his young protégé.]

“They took my pride.”

[He lowers his head in shame.]

“I’m a proud black man, Kane and I’ve been around the block, but never has someone made me feel so ashamed, so helpless, so unimportant and insignificant.”

[Kane exhales deeply.] “I’m sorry Teach, I just didn’t think,”

“They tortured me, beat me, electrocuted me, stomped my head into the ground like I was nothing but an ant beneath their feet. I fought tonight because I had to take back my pride. It wasn’t about the Championship or the glory, not like you young bucks want, no, it was about fighting back.”

[Doeburn angrily stands up.]

“I’ll fucking kill them for this.”

[Redmond quickly stops him.] “No, they’ll kill you if you get in their way, kid,” [he says shaking his head.] “Wolfgang wants to make an example out of me. He wants to destroy me in the front of the world to prove that we, as black men, are inferior to his superior race. I’m not going to give him the satisfaction.”

[That surprises Kane.]

“You’re not going to fight him? You’re not going to get revenge?”

[Redmond relaxes back in his bed somewhat, still aching.]

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

[He winces again, holding his side.]

“And what’s right is to be the bigger man.”

[Doeburn walks back over to the bed side of his mentor, taking a seat next to him. He’s fuming, that much is clear, but Quinn slowly goes to sleep with a smile upon his face.] [Cut.]

WHAT IS LOVE?
RECORDED EARLIER

[Recored Previously.] [Darkness. A viscous liquid holds an unknown object. Suddenly an eye opens. The scene zooms out to reveal the head of Never Dead Dan floating in an unknown liquid. He opens his mouth, unable to scream. The scene pans around a dirty, dingy operating room. The sound of struggling against chains is heard. In the center of this room is Brent Kersh.]

“Quit FIGHTING me, Brent. I have more tests to run.”

[The Enforcer has blood draining from his arm into a bag, his eyes held open by speculums. Kersh fights his restraints again as he is forced to look up above himself, his head forcibly pointed towards a picture above his head. One of Kersh’s own family.]

“For DAYS I have tried to discover what caused the emotion called LOVE. There are no IMPURITIES in your blood and no amount of sedatives seems to make the feeling SUBSIDE. I must go deeper, I must UNDERSTAND more.”

[The Doctor himself walks up to the restrained Kersh, a Trephine in hand. Kersh, tired and seemingly defeated, does not even struggle as the Doctor looms overhead. He slowly brings the trephine toward’s Kersh.]

“If it is not in the blood, nor the heart, then I must examine the BRAIN.”

[Danvers thrusts the device into Kersh’s!-] [SNAP!] [KERSH BROKE ONE HAND FREE! HE LANDS A BLOW ON DANVERS!] [The Doctor is taken by surprise as Kersh finally frees himself from the bonds! The Enforcer removes the medical devices from his body, tossing them aside. Danvers tries to stand up, but as he does KERSH LANDS A MASSIVE BOOT TO THE FACE! Danvers is sent sprawling! Kersh stumbles blindly as he looks for an exit from the operating room.]

“All that studying, yet you still don’t understand, huh?”

[Kersh shakes his head, escaping as quickly as his tired body will allow.]

FAYE, GAMEBOY & TREBOL VS. GRAVES, XAVIER & KIRBY
TRIOS MATCH

[Trios Action kicks off here tonight s two impressive teams fight it in a battle of Light vs Dark] [The bell sounds as Gameboy and Michael Graves start off, Graves getting the advantage with his superior power as he drills Gameboy with a stiff clothesline before double underhooking him and tossing him across the ring with a Suplex. Gameboy lands on his feet, running forward as Graves turns around, LEVEL ONE! The massive Superkick levels Graves who rolls out of the ring and Bill Kirby rolls in. The two heroes go at it, Gameboy ducking under a Kirby elbow before popping off the Button Masher Three Punch combo. A big jawbreaker stuns Kirby as Gameboy springboards off the ropes right into a massive Yakuza Kick!] [Kirby goes to follow up but Gameboy rolls out as Dakota Faye enters the ring, ducking under another Yakuza Kick before kicking the turning Kirby in the gut, THE ARCH! Faye bridges back with the Fisherman as the referee counts, ONE..TWO…Kirby just gets the shoulder up. Faye pulls him up to his feet but Kirby slips out, staggering into his corner as Dante Xavier tags in. Faye greets him with a trio of hard forearms that stagger the Magician back but as she rushes forward, Xavier vanishes, appearing behind her, VANISHING ACT!] [Xavier levitates Faye off the mat, driving her down with a stiff Flatliner before leaping to the top rope for the finishing act but Faye still has too much in her tank as she dives on the ropes, crotching Xavier up top before finally tagging in El Trebol Jr! The double champion runs in like a house on fire, leaping up before spiking Xavier down to the mat with a hurricanrana. Xavier rolls out as Graves rolls in but a clothesline attempt is ducked under before he’s driven into the mat with a huge bulldog. Trebol scrambles up to the top rope looking for the end as he leaps off with a top rope Moonsault…AL VER VERDE! Graves gets spiked on his head as Gameboy and Faye take out Kirby and Xavier on the outside while Trebol drops down for the cover, ONE…TWO…THREE!!! ] [The trio of Trebol, Gameboy and Faye pick up the victory in this incredible athletic contest of some of the greatest wrestlers in the world today]

TWISTED
RECORDED EARLIER

[Previously Recorded.] [Dusk.] [Jacen Novan stands atop the roof of the Tap Room, looking displeased.]

“So that’s it, Novan?”

[Dakota Faye is behind him, and she is no happier.]

“Meet up on the roof so you can steal this cube from me? That sound about right?”

[The grim Novan turns around.]

“Do not mistake my intentions. I want the Historium. I desire it, even. But I will not take it from you. However, I hope that after its power is revealed, you may consider removing your stewardship of it.”

[She scoffs. Novan nods to the bag at her side, and Faye pulls out the cube. Upon her touch, the Historium begins to glow a pale green. Novan takes a step forward, his hands shaking.]

“I do not know how powerful it is right now, that is why we met in open air.”

[Novan reaches out to place his hands on the Historium. Both of them have both of their hands on it now.]

“In my Order, we have a very simple outlook towards life. In the light, there is a darkness and in the darkness, a light. It is the way with us all. Be a prisoner of neither Bogan nor Ashla. Strive to live in balance.”

[Faye shrugs.]

“Gibberish, old man. What does it have to do with me?”

[Novan’s lips purse.]

“I do not yet know. But the Historium has found its way to you, and I know you felt its call. What is to me a shout must have been but a whisper in your ears. I believed it had been lost in the sands of time, were-gild for a bitter betrayal.”

[The glow intensifies.]

“It calls to me. It begs me to crush your mind, to take my place as its master. But the Historium only has one master, whose name has passed into memory and legend.”

[The glow practically washes them out, as Faye looks at Novan.]

“So this thing is alive? With the Ashla?”

[Novan snorts, his eyes squinting at the light.]

“The Ashla would never command your death so frivolously. No, this object is of the…”

[BANG!] [Novan and Faye are both thrown backwards by a wall of green energy coming from the Historium. Dust and smoke rise up from brick being vaporized in its wake. Dakota Faye slowly begins to come to, and as she rubs soot from her eyes, her face turns angry.] [Jacen Novan is gone.] [So is the Historium.] [Cut.]

ISAAC DANVERS VS. OSCAR VOGEL
SINGLES MATCH

[Tables line the outside of the ring as the man who hears voices and talks to children, Oscar Vogel, takes on the man who can cure him with an all-loving touch, OSW Rewind Champion Isaac Danvers in a Tables Match.] [DING! DING! DING!] [Oscar and Isaac square off in the center of the ring with a shoulder and elbow tie up. Isaac takes the upperhand and whips Oscar into the ropes! STIFF lariat from the Plague Doctor! Oscar hits the mat and Danvers doesnt let up! He lifts him high into the air! GUERILLA PRESS SLAM! Holy shit! He lifts him again! HE WALKS TO THE ROPES AND THROWS OSCAR OVER THE TOP!] [Oscar NARROWLY avoids falling through a table, instead flying just past it and hitting the floor with a thud. Danvers steps out of the ring, calmly, surgically laying boots to Oscar’s midsection. He pulls Oscar to his feet. OUCH! Knife edged chop from Vogel! Another! Another! Denver’s chest must be seering as he finds himself slumping against the guard rail! Oscar grabs Danvers by his head! He slams Danvers’ head into the guardrail over and over! Singing along the entire time, “ONE-TWO-THREE! FOUR-FIVE-SIX! SEVEN-EIGHT-NINE! TEN-ELEVEN-TWELVE!” To free himself Danvers desperately kicks backwards into Oscar’s shin! Danvers spins around!! THE CURE!! THE CURE!! OSCAR HITS THE GROUND LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES!!] [Oscar is out cold, and Danvers can taste the victory! Danvers lays a few more boots to Vogel for good measure. Showing a level of strength, Danvers scoops Vogel up and places him on his shoulders in the electric chair position! DANVERS IS GOING TO ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP VOGEL THROUGH THE TABLE!! BUT OSCAR STARTS PUNCHING!! ONE, TWO, THREE SHOTS TO THE HEAD!! HE FALLS SAFELY TO HIS FEET!!! HE JUMPS ONTO A TABLE!!! HE CRADLE DDTs DANVERS THROUGH THE FUCKING TABLE!!!!] […] [NO! DANVERS FREES HIMSELF IN THE VERY NICHE OF TIME! Danvers sends a boot to Oscar’s gut!! He scoops Vogel up!! SIDEWALK FUCKING SLAM THROUGH THE TABLE!!! THIS ONE IS OVER!!] [DING! DING! The referee slides out of the ring, raising Danvers hand, who beat a very competitive Vogel here tonight.]

MAN MAKES PLANS…
BACKSTAGE

[Earlier tonight.]

“You’ve let me down, my boy.”

[These ominous words take us somewhere deep within the Tap Room, away from prying eyes as Lord Griffin Walters chastises his slave Kasabian with a stern voice and a mix of anger and disappointment in his eyes.]

“I warned you there would be consequences, didn’t I? You know how I feel about failure.”

[Kasabian never responds verbally, but his eyes show a sign of regret in not fulfilling his master’s wishes. Walters lifts his cane, pointing the griffin at the collar on Kasabian’s neck.]

“You’re walking a fine line, my boy. Failing me would be akin to escape, both a very quick path to losing something far worse than your freedom.”

[Kasabian remains still, never budging in spite of his master’s threat…which prompts Walters to lower his cane, his expression softening just slightly.]

“Alas, man makes plans and God laughs. I am a merciful lord, my boy, so I will spare you the rod just this once. If this warrior won’t come to me willingly, we will simply have to take him by force.”

[Walters taps on the ground with his cane, a crooked smile now forming on his face as he gazes at his loyal slave.]

“We’ll need to get you ready for tonight, and for Invasion…that briefcase sure would look nice in my collection. I’ll take that, the opportunity to earn something greater from it, and the warrior all in one fell swoop…and you’re just what I need to get it all done. Let’s get to it then, shall we?”

[Kasabian merely nods in response as they walk away…and we soon see Troy Solveig watching from the shadows, lifting his hammer onto his shoulder with a sense of purpose.]

“No mere man can hold the power of the gods, and no man can serve as master over another. Mine purpose is made clear in this hour, and freedom shall be granted.”

[The hammer flickers with lightning as Troy walks off, the Vǫlsungr prepared to live up to his moniker.] [Cut.]

ANTE UP
BACKSTAGE

[The sound of roulette wheels spinning and dice rolling echo through the Tap Room halls! The sound attracts many an onlooker, staff members and fans all find themselves in a back room of the Tap Room. And what are they doing you may ask? Gambling to their heart’s content! The craps tables are crowded and many play blackjack, the few tables in this room packed full of would-be gamblers. And entering this back room? Dante Xavier.] [The Magician looks at the gamblers in confusion, only pulled from his daze by a loud, cocky voice.]

“Howsit look, Xavier?”

[With his arms outstretched in a mock welcome gesture, Wild Karrde himself appears from the back of the makeshift casino.]

“I think itsa good example of what’s to come in that buildin’ of yours.”

[Xavier narrows his eyes, standing tall as he places a hand out to stop Karrde.]

“You misunderstand, Karrde. I gave you a copy of my auditorium, you never specified the real thing.”

[Xavier smirks, seemingly feeling he got one over on the gambler, but Karrde merely shakes his head, still chuckling.]

“Ya know? You’re right! You got one over on me, and I’ll admit I didn’t see it comin’. But I was thinkin’, I cheated you, and you cheated me. So how’re we gonna deal with this? We’ll both ante up. You and I are goin’ head to head at Invasion, if you beat me, I’ll leave you alone and pay ya back for your trouble. I beat you, and you turn that fancy buildin’ of yours into my casino!”

[Dante stares a hole through Karrde, unsure of what to think before nodding.]

“Fine. I will make you disappear into thin air in front of the crowd, and when I do, you’ll pay for your crimes against me and the art of magic!”

“Good.”

[Karrde’s smirk turns ever so malicious as he turns back to the gamblers.]

“Attention gentlemen! I have quite the stakes for you! The first one to bring down this magician behinds me wins ten grand in cash!”

[Dante’s eyes go wide as the gamblers, all begging for that cash, leap up from their tables and lunge at him! Just as they converge on him DANTE DISAPPEARS! The gamblers land on an empty spot, and across the room at the entrance, wagging his finger at Wild Karrde, stands the Magician.]

“You called my magic predicable, Karrde. But now you’re the one who’s out of tricks.”

[And with that, Xavier makes his leave. The scene pans back to Wild Karrde, the gambler merely chuckling at the response.]

DR. MINDFUCK VS. CHIP MONTANA
SINGLES MATCH

[Welcome to the jungle! We got fun and games here tonight as Chip Montana takes on Dr. Mindfuck in a street fight! Who will come out on top in a match where anything goes? We find out next!] [DING! DING! Before the two men tie up, we hear Target Identified! Three drones fly from the crowd and fly over Chip Montana! They hone in on him! Propellers nearing his body! He yells, “Crikey! Come at me ye little buggers! I’ll take every one of you on! One drone flies towards him! Uppercut to it breaks the drone! The second one charges at him! Big boot and he joins his fallen brother! Third one stays above chip to avoid a strike! Chip jumps and grabs it! He holds on to the drone which lifts him high up in the air! Dr. Mindfuck climbs to top rope! MID-AIR SPEAR TO A PRONE MONTANA!] [Both men crash to the mat! Mindfuck gets up first and he starts stomping away on Montana! Chip is feeling each stomp, but he catches the foot! He shoves the foot off and gets Mindfuck off him! Mindfuck is marching back towards him and chip grabs him BY THE BALLS! He grabs the balls in one hand and starts wailing Mindfuck in the face with the other! Mindfucks collapses face first holding his balls! Chip Montana climbs to the top rope himself! He goes for a frog splash! Mindfuck rolls out of the way revealing an RC CAR COVERED WITH THUMBTACKS UNDERNEATH HIM! THAT TASTE OF GENIUS GOT CHIP BAD AND HIS ABDOMEN IS BLEEDING!] [Dr. Mindfuck shouts, YOU IDIOT! I ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN! He grabs Chip and runs towards the turnbuckle! SCIENTIFIC METHOD! No! Chip blocks the sliced bread #2 attempt and shoves Mindfuck into the turnbuckles! Mindfuck hits the turnbuckles chest first but he stays there! He’s untying the turnbuckle pad! Chip charges! Mindfuck moves out of the way and Chip hits the exposed ring post! He’s busted open in two places now! Dr. Mindfuck yells again, DUMBFUCKS LIKE YOU DESERVE TO TAP OUT! He locks in MY GREATEST INVENTION! No! Chip reverses it into the iguana sleeper! His dragon sleeper is locked in tight and Mindfucks taps out!] [What a win as Chip proves that the smart tap out as well!]

TO DO WHAT’S RIGHT II
RECORDED EARLIER

[Post VHS #147.] [Miami Dade Medical Centre.] [Bang! Bang! Bang!] [The sound of a hand crashing against metal can be heard, disturbing poor Redmond Quinn from a well-deserved rest. His groggy eyes open to see Wolfgang stood over him, a bedpan in hand. He’s immediately startled but tries to show composure.] [Meanwhile his eyes frantically search the room for Kane, only he’s not there.]

“Are you looking for your little friend?” [Wolfgang asks, leaning in with his piercing blue eyes.] “I’m afraid he’s not available at the moment.”

[Redmond sits up.] “Where is he? What have you done with him?”

“Now, let’s not get upset, he’s safe for the minute. I did manage to have a conversation with your ape like friend before mine took him away. He seems to think you’re not going to fight me, is that right? He says you’re going to turn the other cheek.”

“The time is always right to do what is-”

[Whack!] [The sound of metal crashing against Redmond’s skull echoes throughout the tiny room as Wolfgang clocks him with the bedpan.]

“If you dare quote that piece of shit in front of me, I’ll beat you where you sit.”

[Redmond reels, holding his head in agony.]

“You’re going to fight me, Quinn. You’re going stand opposite me in the middle of the ring as an example to the world. I’m going to beat you, I’m going to hurt you and I’m going to leave you in a puddle of your own piss, vomit and faeces.”

[Quinn shakes his head, refusing.]

“No! The time is always right to do what is-”

[Whack!]

“I warned you.”

[Wolfgang grabs him by the neck, pushing him down into his pillow.]

“Your friend is on his way to the very pleasant and hospitable bunker that you know oh so well. In fact, your blood still stains my floor. Now, my friends and I are going to have some fun with him, there’s no question about that, but whether or not he meets his timely end, all comes down to you.”

[Quinn responds, muffled.]

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

[Wolfgang releases his grip and steps backwards.]

“You’re going to stand opposite me like a man and take what you and your people have had coming since slavery was abolished. If you don’t, I’ll mail you pieces of your dead neger friend until you have enough to rebuild him.”

[He winks.]

“The choice is yours. The time is right to do what is right, Redmond. Do what is right.”

[A smile.]

“Die.”

[Cut.]

THE LOST COSMONAUT VS. ELI FOREVER
SINGLES MATCH

[The Lost Cosmonaut squaring up against Eli Forever in what is sure to a high energy, exciting and entertaining one on one action.] [The Lost Cosmonaut catches everyone off guard including his opponent as he rushes straight across the ring and lands a flying spinning heel kick flush to Eli’s jaw. Shock as much as force sends Eli straight to the matt. Major Tom must have somewhere to be as he athletically leaps up onto the top turnbuckle and comes flying back down almost as quickly. FROG SPLASH lands and he sticks around for the cover! One… Two… Cosmonaut could have done with the referee’s count being as quick as he’s game out the gates tonight.] [Eli clambers to his feet, shocked at lightning quick start. Cosmonaut doesn’t plan to let up though and charges toward his opponent. Eli sends Major Tom’s jaw west though as he counters with a european uppercut… followed by another and a final third. Cosmonaut hangs in an upright position, a stiff breeze could knock him over, a stiff breeze doesn’t come in time though as Eli delivers a stiff swinging neckbreaker! Tossing his opponent onto his front, Eli grabs the legs. A world of hurt is on it’s way for Cosmonaut! Setting himself up… CONFESSIONS AT THE ALTER! HE BENDS HIMSELF INTO A CRAB POSITION! MODIFIED BOSTON CRAB IS LOCKED IN!] [The pain splashed all across Major Tom’s face. He thrashes about looking for some way out, any way out! Mustering up the last of his strength he begins to claw his way toward the nearest rope. Every single claw looking like its using up what’s left in his tank. Yet still he musters it up from deep down inside. ONE MORE!! THE TIP OF HIS FINGER IS AS GOOD AS BRUSHING THE RING ROPES!! BUT ELI CRABWALKS THEM SMACK BANG BACK INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! Soul destroying for The Lost Cosmonaut and an amazing show of athleticism and power by The Heir Eternal! ITS OVER! Cosmonaut literally unable to continue any longer!] [A deadly submission move picking up the win for Eli here tonight. Cosmonaut used up everything he had and came within a hair’s length of escaping it, but it wasn’t to be.]

SHARING IS CARING
SOMEWHERE ELSE

[Moments after his match against Eli Forever, we find The Lost Cosmonaut drifting down the hallway when he notices a folded sheet of paper on the wall, his name scribbled on the front of it. He takes the paper and unfolds it, reading its contents out loud.]

“Earth below us, drifting, falling…”

[He stops short of reading the rest aloud, shaking his head as he crumples the paper and tosses it to the floor…landing right next to the feet of Oscar Vogel, his mouth agape as he holds Skeletor close.]

“Well that’s just rude, Major Tom! We thought we’d share an explanation of what Skeletor was talking about last time we met. Sharing is caring, after all.”

[We hear weeping as we focus on Skeletor, whose head hangs in shame.]

“All I wanted was a friend, Major Tom. I figured you’d make a great friend, since you and I…well, we’re the same.”

[This garners a look of confusion from the Cosmonaut, as Skeletor shouts for emphasis.]

“The same!”

[After a moment, the Cosmonaut nods in agreement.]

“I think I understand, little guy. It’s the hard knock life for us, and we’ve got to stick together.”

[Skeletor looks up with a sense of joy on his otherwise expressionless face.]

“Ya mean that, Major Tom?”

“Ain’t no bones about it, buddy.”

[Skeletor can barely contain his glee as the Cosmonaut makes his leave down the hall, with Oscar and Skeletor waving goodbye. As the Cosmonaut turns a corner, Oscar looks at his skeletal friend with a soft smile.]

“Well, that wasn’t so bad was it? Aren’t you glad you took my advice and talked to him?”

[Skeletor nods in response when suddenly, the crumpled paper bursts into flames! This startles Oscar and Skeletor, much to the amusement of the Cosmonaut who simply chuckles to himself as he starts hovering down the hall. Oscar stomps out the small fire on the floor with a look of worry on his face, concerned that Skeletor’s search for a friend has taken a drastic turn.] [Cut.]

SHITTIN’ PINK
SOMEWHERE ELSE

[Inside a dark, damp cave, an altar is built. Chiselled from the ancient stone of the hidden cavern. Standing behind the altar is Michael Graves. His Chiroptera are seated before him, humming a low, gutteral, repetitive chant. Sitting alongside them, quietly looking around, Chip Montana, Corndog sitting quietly on his shoulder. On the chair next to him, his legs in the air, his head dangling from the seat and holding his trusty camera, Kevin.

“Y’ve got some shit dahn ya front there, Kev.” [Chip whispers,] “It’s fuckin’ pink.”

[Down the front of Kevin’s inexplicably topless chest is some pink poop. It keeps happening. He keeps pooping pink. Which is odd, because all he has been eating lately is…]

‘Sllllluuuuuuurp.’

[Oranges.] [Michael Graves reaches below the altar, removing a large, ornate dagger. He lies it across the palms of his hands and raises it towards the sky.]

“Oh Chiroptera, bring to me our brave and noble martyr.”

[A druid is brought forward, flanked at either side by two recognisable faces. TJ Laws. Big Bruce. His hands are bound by rope at his front. He is helped onto the altar by the henchmen, where he lies himself down.]

“Tonight, Barbatos, we offer you this sacrifice, in front of our most distinguished guests,”

[Graves flicks his eyes briefly towards Chip and Kevin.]

‘Sllllluuuuuuurp.’

[Graves raises the dagger high into the air, gripping it tightly with both hands.]

“ALL HAIL THE DARK BAT GOD!” [he screams.]

“ALL HAIL BARBATOS!” [comes the reply of the group of druids.] [Graves plunges the dagger deep into the chest of the druid in front of him.] [Nothing more. No lightning. No thunder. No dragon.] [Except one peculiar thing. A small family of bats took the distraction as an opportunity to move into Kevin’s armpits, making it their home. A few later arrivals dangled from Kevin’s now outstretched arms and they shared his oranges. This both piques the interest of, and enrages, Michael Graves.]

“GAHHHHHHH!”

[Graves heaves the carcass of his druid from the altar and into the stagnant water that surrounds it.]

“Kevin. You are the one. You must attend my altar. Next week. At InVasion!”

[Montana bounces to his feet, standing between Graves and his trusty cameraman.]

“I don’t bladdy think so, mate. Y’ll av’ta go through me, first!”

“So it shall be.” [Graves replies.] [Static.]

WILD KARRDE VS. KASABIAN
SINGLES MATCH

[One creates his own rules, the other lives by his masters. Wild Karrde and Kasabian stand across from one another.] [Punches thrown back and forth and with ferocity, you’d be forgiven for thinking this was a grudge match! Kasabian seems to be gaining the upper hand in the trade off but Karrde smartly leaps forward and initiates a tie up. Classic battle of strength, Kasabian’s height and weight advantage see’s again begin to gain the upper hand. Karrde quickly puts a stop to that with a blatant low kick right to The Slave’s crown jewels! DDT! Plant’s Kasabian’s head heavily into the mat! Karrde looking to take early advantage. One… Two.] [Kickout! Lord Griffin Walters looks less than happy on the outside, barking instructions Kasabian’s way. Ever the opportunist Karrde gets straight back on his opponent, looking to bring him to his feet. Pulling him up by his hair before launching him into the ropes. Kasabian returns with a shoulder barge however. Finally getting a moment, The Slave locks eyes with his master. Lord Walters urging him on, and he’s more than happy to oblige. Picking up his opponent in one swift swoop, showing an amazing feat of strength, straight up and onto his shoulders. SHAH-RAH HAHN! A MUSCLE BUSTER!] [WITH THE CANVASS STILL SHAKING KASABIAN MAKES THE COVER!! ONE… TWO… THR… KARRDE GETS HIS SHOULDER UP! Lord Walters gets increasingly more animated outside, demanding that Kasabian finishes it. Without hesitation Kasabian positions himself over Wild Karrde’s downed body, KASABIAN REACHES DOWN LOOKING TO LOCK IN SLAVE COLLAR.. BUT NO KARRDE LITERALLY JUST THREW HIS WHOLE BODY UP, SLAMMING INTO THE GROIN AREA OF KASABIAN!! Kasabian slumps over in agony while Karrde kips up! HE’S HIT THE JACKPOT! STUNNER!! STUNNER!! W.K covers… One… Two… THREE!!] [It looked to be over for Wild Karrde, but he hit flush on the river and cleaned his opponent out!]

DESPERATE MEASURES
SOMEWHERE ELSE

[A green sedan breezes down an old road, marked with potholes and faded yellow lines. Trees line the way, directing the gaze of the driver on the path ahead.] [Edward Newton sits comfortably behind the wheel, his hand reaching down to stroke the OSW World Championship around his waist. If someone wants this title, they’re going to have to pull it from his body themselves.] [The Champion rounds a corner, but immediately grabs the wheel with both hands.] [SCREECH!] [Newton’s car grinds to a halt right before an overturned tree in the center of the road. He puts the car into reverse, but quickly hammers down the brakes as a tree falls down behind his car.] [WHOOSH!] [The trees ignite into flames!] [Smoke fills the air as Newton leaps out of his vehicle. He straightens his suit out, no fear in his eyes, as he looks for one of his myriad of enemies.]

“You took everything from me.”

[Newton’s lips purse as he turns to face D’Von Chambers, who is stood upon the hood of his own vehicle on the other side of the flames.]

“You’re mistaken, Chambers.” [Newton begins, steel in his voice.] “Your fall lays only at your own hand. Somehow, I found myself in the service of God himself, while you served His enemy. Perhaps you believe the roles should have been reversed?”

[Chambers laughs, his eyes mad with rage.]

“I’m done playing your games, Riddler. I’m going to take that gold around your waist that you hold most dear. I walked through the fire twice. Can you stand the Inferno, Newton?”

[The Champion nods, understanding D’Von’s challenge.]

“Your faith, as always, is misplaced. Your saviour finds himself in a cage, out of reach to save you. I will endure your inferno, Chambers, one way or the other. And you’ll still be all alone, bereft of a congregation, of faith, and of a mission. Good bye, Mr. Chambers, sleep well before you tempt fate a third time.”

[Newton gets back into his car as Chambers roars another challenge. Newton backs up as far as he can, and then floors it.”

[CRUNCH!] [The tree, weakened by fire, shatters as Newton muscles his car through it. Chambers watches him go, his face contorted with madness.] [These two men will step into the flames to compete in an Inferno match!]

EF
BACKSTAGE

[Inside the main hub of Vanguard, The Informer sits behind a large wooden desk, staring at numerous monitors before him. His eyes widen at the shock of this operation, being able to see in every corner of the Tap Room.]

“This is absolutely astonishing,” [The Informer says, taking notes.] “You can see everything.”

“Yes. My creator wanted me to log every interaction, every comment, every action and report back to them.”

[The Informer can’t believe it.]

“This is a big story, Vanguard. The group that bought Old School Wrestling have big plans for it and I can’t find out what those are. Here’s what I know.”

[He pauses for a moment.]

“When The Chief died, Old School Wrestling was supposedly auctioned to recover funds for his outstanding debts. But upon investigation, I’ve figured out that The Chief didn’t have any outstanding debtors. He owned all his properties outright. He leased vehicles, he paid in cash and he didn’t owe anyone anything. Furthermore, quite unbelievably, he didn’t give anyone power of attorney over his affairs.”

[Vanguard doesn’t say anything.]

“That means that the sale of this company was illegal, Vanguard. Whoever sold it had no right to do so.”

“Then how did it become for sale?”

[The Informer stands.] “That’s where my investigation is heading now. I need to find out who sold OSW and why. I’ve looked into the holding company that bought it and they’re called ‘EF Holdings’. But that’s a dead end.”

“Why?”

“Because they don’t own any other holdings. They’re a company specifically designed to buy and own shares of other companies, but it bought OSW outright. It doesn’t have any other business and I can’t track the money.”

[Vanguard sighs.]

“Understood. I have created a notification in my database to alert you when EF Holdings are mentioned. But I cannot allow you to remain here. If you wish to be here, you need to fight. At Invasion, I must give you a match against Kane Doebern to protect your cover.”

[The Informer nods.]

“Agreed. I’ll let you know what I find out.”

[Cut.]

DARKSTAR VS. EDGAR NEVERMORE
SINGLES MATCH

[The flames surround the ring as the two wrestlers look ready to go through Hell to win this match tonight!] [The bell sounds as Darkstar rushes across the ring and clobbers Edgar Nevermore with a solid right hit! Nevermore staggers back as Darkstar quickly grabs Nevermore by the arm and whips him into the corner before charging with a big avalanche splash in the corner. The flames are quickly beginning to rise. Nevermore staggers out as Darkstar hoists him up onto his shoulder and hits his BLACK HOLE BOMB! The flames SPIKE UP! The sitout powerbomb is connected as Nevermore is laid out and not moving. Darkstar smirks before kicking Nevermore in the ribs forcefully with a smirk.] [Darkstar grabs the arm of Nevermore and lazily lifts him up to his feet. Nevermore takes advantage of this by hooking the leg of Darkstar and dragging him down to the mat! Nevermore tries to lock in the leg lock, but Darkstar kicks him away. Nevermore staggers back to the ropes as Darkstar gets up and rushes towards him! BIG BOOT! Only Nevermore dodges as Darkstar gets crotched on the top rope, seemingly only inches away from the flames below. Nevermore wraps his hands around the throat of Darkstar in a Cobra Clutch before slamming him down to the mat. The Poet is sizing up Darkstar.] [Darkstar staggers to his feet. Edgar kicks Darkstar in the midsection before trying to hook him with a hammerlock legsweep DDT! THE OXFORD COMMA… IS REVERSED! Darkstar hooks the hand of Nevermore and spins him out before nailing a lariat that turns Nevermore inside out! He lifts him up to his feet. He whips Nevermore into the ropes before getting himself prepped for his return with a lifting headbutt! WORLDS COL-NO! Nevermore drives a knee up to catch the falling chin of Darkstar! Darkstar is on shaky legs from the knee to his chin as Nevermore smirks. He grabs Darkstar and sends him flying over the top rope into the flames surrounding the ring!] [Edgar Nevermore staggers to his feet with a grin. He went through hell, but he is the one with his hand raised!]

LEVEL THREE
BACKSTAGE

[Static.] [We open on the grainy, black and white view of a television monitor.] [It’s the backstage area of The Tap Room and we watch as a carefree Happy makes his way down a long corridor.] [Alone.]

“Happy!”

[Her voice booms. Echoing through the halls.] [Gaia.] [And she’s not happy, but somebody else is. The Happiest Man On Earth gazes upward at his friend with a look of awe.]

“Gaia!”

[Happy moves down the hall to greet Gaia as we transition from the grainy monitor to the actual hallway. And just as the two are within a few feet of one another.] [BZZT. ZAP.] [Gaia is almost blinded by a flash a light, the presence of which turns Happy’s attention to the direction from which he came. Standing there, below the television monitor is none other than Gameboy.] [He has a smirk on his face.]

“You stay right where you are you Greek Freak” [Gameboy snickers as he points in their direction, unusually enthusiastic.] “Get back Happy! It’s a trap!”

[With that, The Happiest Man on Earth glances back at Gaia as he begins to back away with confused uncertainty.]

“A trap? Why?”

[Gaia holds up her hands.]

“I’m here to nurture you Happy. To protect you…” [Gaia says calmly.] “To protect you from vile imbeciles like him that pollute our existence!”

[Gameboy’s face turns to a frown.]

“I’m not vile!”

[The seriousness of the situation somewhat escaping him before he reasons.]

“Look… we can all be friends, but I know who you are Gaia. You’re the boss battle and I can’t leave the level without freeing Happy from your grasp.”

[Gaia’s fists clinching in rage.]

“Then we will battle now!”

[Gaia marches towards Gameboy, pressuring Happy towards him as well. In return, Gameboy shrugs in nonchalant acceptance of the threat and moves forward ready to fight.]

“STOP!”

[Happy’s voice halts them.]

“This can’t happen. You both have been so nice to me, I… there is only one way to settle this. At Invasion. Gaia versus Gameboy versus Happy. A triple threat DEATH match. Without the death part of course.”

[An almost evil grin forms on the lips of Gaia.]

“Yes Happy, you are right. That is the only way to settle this dispute. And at Invasion when you help me defeat Gameboy, we’ll be on our way.”

[Gameboy scoffs.]

“You don’t need Happy to beat me Gaia” [Pausing as he catches his blunder.] “What I mean is, he’s not going to be helping you. He’s going to be helping ME! And it’s gonna be like global warming opening up a can of whoop butt…”

[The rage remaining in Gaia’s eyes as she slowly backs away with Gameboy doing the same, leaving a very confused and fearful Happy once again to his lonesome.] [Static.] [Cut.]

SPERO VS. WOLFGANG
SINGLES MATCH

[We are here in the tap room and we are about to see a brutal showing in a classic tale of good VS evil. Here in the steel cage, we have Wolfgang VS Spero. Will good triumph over evil or will a second holocaust come closer to reality? We find out next!] [DING! DING! Wolfgang charges at Spero hitting him with clubbing right hands! He backs Spero into a corner! Hard elbow strikes from Wolfgang! Spero looks dazed and Wolfgang backs up a bit and runs at him! Corner clothesline! No! Spero gets his knees up and gets his feet on the middle rope! He grasps Wolfgang’s head! TORNADO DDT! Wolfgang is planted and Spero goes to the ropes! He hops on the top rope! Springboard moonsault! No! Wolfgang got the knees up! Spero is clutching his stomach! Wolfgang grabs him from behind! German suplex! And another one! A third German suplex! SCHUTZSTAFFEL! That third one sent Spero into the cage!] [Spero bounces off the cage onto the apron! BASEBALL SLIDE! Wolfgang crushes Spero’s head between his boots and the cage! Wolfgang stands on Spero and uses his body as leverage to start climbing the cage! Wolfgang keeps climbing! He is halfway up the cage! He’s still climbing! He has his hands on top of the cage! He starts pulling himself up! No! Spero uses the ropes to springboard and hop on Wolfgang’s back! He starts punching the back of his head! He pulls his legs over Wolfgang’s shoulders! No way! POISONRANA OFF THE WALL OF THE CAGE! Both men are down!] [Spero gets up first and tries to lock in a cloverleaf! Wolfgang shoves him off with his feet! Spero’s head hits the back of the cage and he holds on to the ropes to stay up! 1488! Wolfgang throws a massive Spartan kick but Spero gets out of the way and Wolfgang hits the cage! It’s enough to knock that wall down! That side of the cage is flat against the barricade! Spero sees his chance! He tries to run out! CHOPBLOCK TO SPERO’S INJURED KNEE! He’s on all fours! BLOOD AND SOIL! Curbstomb on the cage busts Spero wide open and his blood spills on the floor! Wolfgang marches off the wall and on to the floor!] [Wolfgang wins in destructive fashion! Good showing by Spero but it wasn’t enough to take down the Nazi warrior!]

HIDEOUT
SOMEWHERE ELSE

[The sound of a car coming to halt is the first thing we’re welcomed by.] [A door shuts as a pair of feet are shown exiting a vehicle.] [Bill Kirby.] [Our hero finds himself about a block from the location. An isolated warehouse on the edge of a cliffside. ‘Why are villains always so predictable?’ he thinks to himself. He begins lightly stepping towards the house keeping his eyes focused and his wits about him. He surveys the building which seems to only have one door. Although many windows seem within reach. His eyes probe until he finds one boarded up.]

“Great, no glass to break.” [Kirby says to himself underneath his breath.] [He makes his way quietly to that window before yanking and pulling on the boards a bit. To his luck, they seem to be fairly old as they just splinter and fall apart at the slightest of touches. He breaks off enough to make room for him to crawl through. He does so as he’s careful not to make any unnecessary noise. He looks around the room allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness.] [His heart begins to race as his nose picks up more than his eyes do.] [The smell of death.] [His eyes finally adjust to see it.] [Blood.] [Gore.] [Limbs everywhere.] [The room itself is coated in missing body pieces as Kirby resists the urge to throw up or scream. He inches his way forward trying his best not to touch any of it. He finds the door and leaves. He shuts the door behind him as he takes a moment to breathe.] [He’s in a hallway and he hears whirring. He turns to his right to see… hear… gears rushing towards him. The lights turn on bright as a mechanical creature of some sort is rushing towards him full-sprint! Kirby panics and begins back-pedaling before turning and running away from it. He rushes into a large, open area as the robot stops at the entrance. Kirby then realizes his mistake as he looks around.] [Cages upon cages are lifted in the air with different animals contained within them, yet not a single one makes a sound upon seeing him.] [They just stare in sadness.] [Or pity.]

“Well look who decided to stop on by! The least you could have done is use MY FRONT DOOR!”

[Electrical shocks are heard through the room as the floor becomes electrified! Kirby’s body jolts for a moment before they turn off as he falls to a knee.] [A man steps into the room from ahead wearing a white lab coat with a grin spreading from ear-to-ear.]

“Hello, Bill. I’m glad you accepted my invitation to join me here today. Although I will say, you sure took your SWEET ASS TIME!”

[The man raises up the chin of Kirby so he can examine him better.]

“I’m going to have fun with you, hero.”

[He grins as he kicks Kirby back onto the ground before extending his arms out and letting out a maniacal laugh.]

“Welcome to THE TESTING CHAMBER, Kirby! The perfect place for you to have your examination with the one and only DR. MINDFUCK!”

STRAY
BACKSTAGE

[Backstage] [The night is beginning to draw to a close, with but only the main event remaining on the card. We find the mysterious Angel known as Shadow in the backstage area, alone. He is busy packing his gear into a bag, his match long since over, readying himself to soon leave. However, he is interrupted by a presence. Not a presence that immediately makes itself known, but one that gingerly steps forward into his radar.]

“Ahem…”

[The soft clearing of a throat causes Shadow to look up and see the figure that had approached him. One of Eli Forever’s congregation stands before him. Alone. Eli is nowhere to be seen, nor any other of the followers. He speaks in a hushed tone, as if even talking to Shadow is something that he would get in a lot of trouble for.]

“Your presence in the Eternity on the Hills caused quite a stir. I know your intentions, to destroy us, but what I do not know is why… Why do you take such offence to the Heir Eternal and his message?”

[Shadow tilts his head slightly, cautiously.]

“I wasn’t aware that you and the congregation were allowed to think and speak freely. On whose behalf do you ask?”

[In answer, the follower holds up a small object. A small onyx angel. It was he who Shadow had given the figurine to during the squabble.]

“I speak on my own behalf. It would be fair to say that certain… doubts have crept into my mind. Doubts that only seem to grow the more I look at this statue.”

[Shadow smiles as he eyes the figurine.]

“The fact that you cannot see why he must be stopped is proof enough that he must. You are blinded by his filth, charmed by the silver tongue of a demon that must be vanquished. But… You have taken the first step to saving yourself. I only hope that you can save many more before I bring down vengeance upon Eli Forever.”

[The follower looks upon the small statuette once more, unspeaking. Shadow’s words hang in the air but it is unclear whether the follower has heard them. Shadow smiles, this time at the follower, not the statue.]

“My words would fall on deaf ears. But perhaps you could share some of these doubts with your brethren. A bit of dissension in the ranks would surely aide in destroying Eli… Forever.”

[The follower does not speak. He does not nod in approval, nor does he shake his head to decline Shadow. It is almost as if he has withdrawn in upon himself once more. Pulling the onyx angel back into his pocket, he simply fades back from whence he came, leaving Shadow alone.]

“See you later then?”

[He wears a perplexed expression on his face, slightly amused at the behaviour. Shadow shakes his head slowly.]

“Perhaps there is a way to save some of them.”

[Cut.]

NICHOLAS MAMMON VS. BRENT KERSH
TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS

[The Salesman has become a huge breakout star over the last few months but now he faces off against his toughest challenge yet in the Last Pillar Brent Kersh. Can Mammon continue his dominance or will the Enforcer stop him in his tracks?] [The bell sounds as Kersh rushes forward, pounding down on Mammon with stiff lefts and rights before a huge uppercut rocks the Salesman before he’s tossed across the ring. Mammon rebounds off the ropes, ducking under a Lariat attempt before trying for a Bulldog. Kersh slips out, lifting Mammon up high before slamming him down to the canvas with a Back Suplex. Mammon staggers up to his feet right into a massive Lariat that sends him stumbling over onto the apron] [Mammon is dazed on his feet as Kersh grabs him by the head, trying to ram him into the turnbuckles but Mammon blocks it, grabbing Kersh by the beard and dropping him throat first across the top rope. Kersh staggers away as Mammon slips into the ring, running forward as The Enforcer turns around, KNEE-DFUL THINGS! Mammon hits it out of nowhere as he drops down for the cover, ONE…TWO…THREE!!! Mammon picks up the first fall within five minutes as the Enforcer is allready on the back foot] [Kersh slowly rises to his feet, just dodging another knee but gets drilled by a hard forearm smash to the back of the head before he’s wrapped up in a cravate and driven to the mat with a neckbreaker. Mammon backs up as the Enforcer slowly rises, THE HARD SELL! A massive Slingblade sends Kersh down to the mat again but Mammon can’t follow up as the Enforcer rolls out to the floor to try and gain a breather. Mammon rolls out to greet him as he ducks a wild right before leaping up with a massive dropkick that sends Kersh flying into the stairs. The Salesman backs up, sizing up the groggy Enforcer, KNEE-DFUL THINGS…MISSES! Kersh just rolls out of the way as Mammon drills the stairs knee first!] [Mammon yells out, clutching his knee in pain as the Enforcer slowly rises to his feet. Seeing an opportunity, Kersh lifts Mammon up, sending him knee first into the steps once more before rolling him back into the ring. Mammon slowly gets up, his right knee stiff as Kersh rushes forward, clipping the back of the right leg with a viscous Chopblock. Mammon goes down in a heap as Kersh zeroes in on the knee, dropping a trio of elbows onto the joint before wrapping it up and falling back onto the mat with a snap. Mammon cries out in pain as Kersh flips him over, locking in a Single Leg Crab] [Mammon suffers under the hold as the Enforcer pulls back with all his strength but Mammon manages to use whatever strength he has to kick out. He can’t get to his feet however before Kersh is back on him, lifting his knee up high as he slams it into the mat before locking in the Lone Star! Mammon is in serious pain as Kersh wrenches back on the hold, Mammon tries to get to the ropes but he’s trapped in the middle of the ring. Refusing to tap out but the pain is getting incredible as he collapses with his shoulders on the mat, the referee beginning to count. ONE…TWO…THREE!!! It’s all tied up 1-1] [Kersh refuses to break the hold, trying to get the match all sown up quickly but Mammon powers up, clawing on the mat as he crawls to the ropes, his fingertips just reaching before Kersh..breaks the hold? Brent doesn’t let go of Mammon thou, pulling him towards the corner as he locks in the Lone Star around the Ringpost! Mammon screams in pain as the referee begins to warn Kersh, but the Enforcer keeps the hold locked in tight. Gritting his teeth, the Salesman digs deep as he pushes forward with all his strength, forcing Kersh down as the Enforcer slams his head down into the concrete floor breaking the hold!] [Kersh slowly rises up to his feet on the outside, rolling inside as both men get to their feet, the effects of this war taking a toll. Both men exchange heavy lefts and rights, an exchange the Enforcer gets the better of but a whip towards the ropes is reversed by Mammon who tosses Kersh into the corner before rushing forward, CHA-CHING! That massive clothesline nearly cracked the Enforcer’s chest but a follow up suplex fails as Mammon’s knee gives out on him, allowing Kersh to slip out, drilling Mammon in the face with a knee before lifting him up and planting him nearly through the canvas with a massive Spinebuster.] [Kersh pulls Mammon up off the canvas, trying to toss him across the ring for another Spinebuster but Mammon collapses to the canvas within a few steps. The Enforcer tries to pull Mammon up but he collapses again as Kersh shakes his head before powering Mammon up…SMALL PACKAGE! Mammon was playing possum as the referee counts, ONE…TWO…THREE!!!] [The Salesman does it, using his intelligence to pick up the final pinfall in this massive war against the Enforcer.]

RING CHASER II
SOMEWHERE ELSE

[As Nicholas Mammon gets back to his feet, celebrating his victory, there’s a sudden cut to static.] [Needful Things.] [Sat tied to a chair in the middle of Nicholas Mammon’s store is none other than Edgar Nevermore. He looks a little beat up but more disturbing is the racket going on behind him.] [Spero is tearing the store apart.]

“Where is it?” [He demands to know, searching high and low.] “Where’s the ring, Nevermore?”

[Edgar scoffs.]

“Spero, old chap, this is no way for a Gentlemen to act.”

[The Hero turns to face him with a tilt of his head.]

“Do you think I’m going to just hand over the Tag Team Championships to you? I want that ring but I won’t sacrifice El Trébol or the titles to get it.”

[The Poet laughs.]

“Then you’ll get nothing. I don’t think you understand, kid. You’re going to help me win Invasion and the Tag Team Championships or you’ll walk away with nothing at all.”

[Spero screams with rage, pulling items from the shelves and throwing them on the floor.] [Meanwhile, back in the ring, Nicholas Mammon turns around and-] [AL VERDE!] [EL TRÉBOL FROM THE TOP ROPE!] [POWERBOMB!] [MAMMON SPUN HIM AND POWERBOMED HIM RIGHT ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!] [Furious, The Salesmen heads to the outside and grabs a steel chair, getting back in the ring. He grabs El Trébol and pulls him back to his feet, thrusting the chair under his jaw and SLAMMING IT INTO THE CANVAS!] [My God, he’s vile!] [The Green Bean rolls around on the canvas in absolute agony, holding his throat after the impact of that chair.] [But Mammon isn’t finished.] [He picks up the steel once more and…] [HE’S SPUN AROUND!] [NEVERMIND!] [NEVERMIND!] [EDWARD NEWTON IS HERE! THE OSW WORLD CHAMPION LAYS OUT THE CONTENDER TO HIS TITLE!] [THAT’S REVENGE FOR LAST WEEK!] [The Riddler pops back to his feet having inadvertently saved El Trébol here tonight and stands over Nicholas Mammon with a wry smile.] [Back at the store and Spero stands, desolate, his head in his hands having found nothing. He looks up at Nevermore.]

“I’ll do it.”

[Cut.]