[Felix Foley writhes in pain. He’s at home in his childhood bed, clearly too big for it. With his legs hanging out the edge, he holds onto his tummy.]
[Mom stands in the doorway.]
[Momma Foley] “What’s the matter, dear?”
[Felix Foley] “I had another tea party…” [Foley complains with a wince.]
[Momma Foley] “Don’t tell me you did it again, son?”
[Felix Foley] [He nods shamefully.] “I did.”
[Parp.]
[Momma Foley frowns.]
[Momma Foley] “You met with those nice boys from the Kingdom, didn’t you?”
[Felix Foley] “We did. I hosted a tea party and… and… I may have eaten too much cake…. again.”
[Parp.]
[Momma Foley] “You know cake doesn’t agree with you, Felix. It gives you the toots. The noxious lethal toots, dear. This room smells like a gas chamber.”
[Felix writhes.]
[Felix Foley] “Probably a good thing…” [He gasps.] “I’m facing Nox next week and he’ll be bringing his own gas to the party.”
[Momma Foley] “I’m sure his won’t be any worse than yours…” [She moans, holding her nose.] “I could throw up…”
[Felix Foley] “I don’t think a battle of gases would work, mommy. He wears a big gas mask, so there’s nothing I could toot that’d stop him in his tracks.”
[Momma Foley] “Do you think he’d let me borrow it?”
[Felix shakes his head.]
[Felix Foley] “I wish I could…”
[Momma Foley] “Alright son, I’ll be back.”
[Momma Foley leaves the room and not a moment too soon.]
[Parp.]
[Toot.]
[Felix Foley] “If Nox wanted to hurt his enemies, all he’d need to do is invite me to a tea party, feed me cake, put a tube in my pants and syphon off the horror. This putrid stench could incapacitate a thousand men and women.”
[He swings himself out of bed, holding his stomach.]
[Parp.]
[Felix Foley] “Luther Grim’s face wouldn’t have just melted off, it would’ve exploded.”
[Parp.]
[Felix Foley] “I better be careful, or I might find myself on Deathrow for my crimes.”
[Mom returns, almost throwing up in her mouth. She hands Foley a tablet strip and a glass of water.]
[Momma Foley] “You should take these…” [She suggests through gasps.] “You can’t meet your brother or beat Nox with those toots. You won’t make it out of this room. Heck son, I might not…”
[Foley takes the tablets and sips the water.]
[Felix Foley] “You don’t mind if I find him?” [Foley asks.]
[She shakes her head.]
[Felix stands up, his tummy settling.]
[Felix Foley] “That’s all it took, huh?” [He asks looking at the tablet strip.] “Wind relief? Huh? So wait… this stops noxious gas?”
[Momma nods.]
[Felix Foley] “You know what’s funny, mom? I’m just like these tablets. Nox is the putrid noxious gas and I’m the cure. Pop two Felix Foley’s and a sip of water and everything is better! I feel better about my match already.”
[Parp.]
[Momma Foley] “They’re not instant, Felix.”
[He smiles nervously.]
[Felix Foley] “Well, that doesn’t bold well.”
[Toot.]
[Parp.]
[Momma Foley]“Oh my Zeus, I need to leave..”