[Court.]
[Felix Foley sits in the jury section of Court, alongside twelve other people… who’re all Felix Foley, superimposed in various male and female costumes.]
[Doom sits on the bench as Judge, a gavel in his hand.]
[Juror Foley rises.]
“In the case of Felix Foley and Doom versus Burning Justice….”
“On the count of attempted murder… we find the defendants… guilty.”
[Gasps.]
[On the bench, Doom sits.]
“Destructo Boy and The Burned Man have been found guilty by a jury of their peers. Last week, they attempted to murder and innocent man in the middle of the ring. Felix Foley had done nothing to them.”
“When Destructo Boy was kidnapped, it was Felix who rescued him.”
“When The Burned Man brutally attacked Felix Foley and stole one of his puppets, it was Felix Foley who turned the other cheek.”
“He told Maxwell that he had nothing to do with the crimes against he or his son.”
“Yet their brutal and terrifying attack commenced none the less.”
“They went to that ring with one thing in mind: the murder of Felix Foley. It didn’t matter that he was innocent and had not acted against them. It meant nothing that he was just a simple man, trying to get by. They had decided that his association with Doom meant he was a guilty party and that they would punish him, much like they wanted to punish Doom, but were unable to do so.”
“Their cowardice meant they attacked Felix, not the man they knew was responsible. He was an easy target for a pair of cowards that had no testicular fortitude.”
[The jury of Felix’ nods along.]
“This jury have found you both guilty.”
“But I did not need them to tell me what I already knew. The prosecution wants lenience. It wants me to take into account that Destructo Boy is just that, a boy. It wants me to help rehabilitate him.”
“However, the moment he concocted the idea of murdering Doom and Foley, he took foot steps into becoming a culpable man.”
“And when he and his father tried to enact the plan, he became one.”
“Culpable.”
“A man.”
“And he will be punished as one. I have decided as judge that Destructo Boy and The Burned Man will face the wrath of The Besties at Red Snow. They will be the executioner.”
[He stands proudly.]
“I sentence both Destructo Boy and The Burned Man, on one account of attempted murder… to… the death penalty.”
[Gasps.]
“At Red Snow, both men will be punished to the fullest extent of the law for their crimes against an innocent Felix Foley.”
“They will be put to the sword.”
“And they will both kneel… before Doom.”
[Doom bangs his gavel.]