| Spiros the Great sits on a church pew, sunglasses on and Zion text in hand. As he reads the book with his head lowered, footsteps approach from behind. |
Zion Acolyte: “Sir, thank you for coming.”
| Spiros doesn’t say anything. |
Zion Acolyte: “Our church is open to all visitors that wish to let Zion into their hearts and minds. He hears our prayers, young man.”
| The acolyte places a hand on his shoulder. |
Zion Acolyte: “You’re silent. Is something troubling you?”
| ZZZZZZZZZ |
Zion Acolyte: “Young man?”
Spiros the Great: “Zzzzz… ”
| Snort. |
| Suddenly, Spiros awakens from a deep sleep, turning perturbed to see a hand resting on his shoulders. |
Spiros the Great:: “WHAT… in the name of ALL that is GREAT do you think you’re doin’, chump?”
| The acolyte smiles. |
Zion Acolyte: “I’m welcoming you into the heart of Zion, son.”
Spiros the Great: “By putting your sweaty monkey hands on The Great One’s three thousand credit shirt? Take your hands off Spiros before he slap’s the Zion sized cock outta your mouth. What the fuck do you think you’re doin’, touching The Great One? He ain’t your girlfriend, boyfriend or dinner date, bitch.”
| The acolyte quickly removes his hand. Spiros shrugs his shoulder. |
Spiros the Great: “Is that how Lionel Troy likes his acolytes to behave? Touch first, ask questions later? Oh, Spiros bets it is, isn’t it? Do you wanna touch The Great One, chump? Do you wanna taste of Spiros?”
Zion Acolyte: “You’re him, aren’t you?”
Spiros the Great: “HIM? If by him, you mean the Greek God. If by HIM, you mean The Great One. Listen up, chump, you’re lookin’ at the educated, calibrated and greatness in all the right places… and no, that doesn’t mean you can touch Spiros in his happy place.”
| Spiros stands up. |
Spiros the Great: “The Great One graced this shit hole for one reason and one reason only; to show Lionel Troy what a real fuckin’ God looks like. Spiros isn’t some make believe sonuvabitch. He is the REAL DEAL, baybee. Last week, Lionel Troy disrupted the most beautiful fighter in the world today as he was making an example out of Colt Ramsey. Spiros was about to write a headline with that chump.”
| The acolyte backs away. |
Spiros the Great: “But instead, Spiros comes to church. He walks in here, takes a seat and reads your little book of bullshit. You know what it does, handsymcfuckface? It bores The Great One to sleep. Spiros would never pay seven credits for this monkey crap, not when he charges a hundred credits just to a fan in the eye.”
| He picks the book up and tosses it at him. |
Spiros the Great: “That shit needs a fuckin’ editor, some creative AI and a fuckin’ dumpster fire.”
| The acolyte looks stunned. |
Spiros the Great: “But that just won’t do, will it? Since your daddy Lionel isn’t here, Spiros will have to meet him at Invasion and you know what that means?”
Zion Acolyte: “That…”
Spiros the Great: “SHUT… YOUR DAMN.. MOUTH! Spiros will tell your monkey ass what that means! It means that The Great One will…”
| Dramatic pause. |
Spiros the Great: “Come… get… some!”