I’ve always found it easy to look after myself. Spending all this time traversing the levels of Arcadia, and figuring out its dark and dangerous secrets, my life is in danger more often than you’d think. That’s why I have my guns, and that’s why I have Colt. I’ve faced bandits, and rapists, and cannibals and murderers. For most it would send a chill down their spines, but for me it became just another day on the job. My desk is the wastelands, my boss is nothing but time itself.
I took a few beatings early on, but I soon picked up on my weaknesses and fixed them, everything became as easy as taking candy from a baby.
You know the saying. It’s when something you need is so easy to get. People get so used to taking what they want with no issues, but what happens when they face resistance.
There’s the literal candy, like Teddy O’Toole. His ‘candy’ is the very products he makes. It’s been said that chocolate in particular has addictive qualities – I’ve heard that Teddy intends to use that to his full advantage. Perhaps that’s why he shot me in the head. Maybe I came too close to uncovering his plan to manipulate Arcadia through candy-based chemical warfare. Maybe that risk to his plan was just one step too far, so he decided to try and take my life.
There’s the metaphorical candy, like Tombstone. His ‘candy’ is the lives of Arcadia resident. I can imagine once you get used to the power of sending souls on their final journey to death, that it would be hard to give that up. And when someone rocks the boat by refusing to leave the mortal plane, that would anger such a person. Maybe that’s why Tombstone recently became such a force of destruction in Arcadia, where previously he was not known for that. Maybe it all stems from the day he tried to take my death.
Then there’s the arm candy, like Drexl. His ‘candy’ are the bevvy of babes he keeps within the Pussycat Club, and the other kinds of “sweet treats” that he sells in little baggies to the crack heads and stoners of Arcadia. If there are ever two things that can fuck with a mans head, it’s drugs and women – maybe Drexl has been dabbling in his own wares, and that’s sent him a little crazy. Maybe that’s why he made the decision to try and trick me. Maybe that’s why he tried to take my freedom.
These men all tried to take things from me: my life, my death, and my freedom. All failed. But their actions against me have cost them more than they could have imagined. Teddy and Drexl have had to sleep with one eye open as Tombstone rampages through their businesses and livelihoods. Tombstone himself has lost his sense of value to Arcadia. When it comes down to it, they couldn’t take shit from me, but taking away what makes each of these three tick has been like taking candy from a fucking baby.