[DOOM] Jasper Redgrave is a fisherman.
[DOOM] It was said that there once were bodies of water in Arcadia that contained fish. Men would stand at the beach, in front of an ocean of water, with a rod in their hands. Of course, this fallacy is just another example of Arcadian imagination, but let me share it with you none the less.
[DOOM] These men would bait hooks with various little creatures that enticed the fish. Hungry, the fish would gormlessly gobble up the bait, driving the hook through their mouth. Their weight on that hook would inform the fisherman of their presence and he’d reel them in.
[DOOM] I see you standing on the beach of an Old School Wrestling ocean with a rod grasped firmly in your hand, Mr. Redgrave.
[DOOM] You’ve baited it and thrown it in the ocean.
[DOOM] Now you’re waiting for the little fishies to have a nibble.
[DOOM] But in your bucket, you’ve already caught a whopper, have you not? Because residing in your bucket is none other than CJ Thorpe. This isn’t just any old fish, is it? No, this fish is coveted. It’s a bass of sorts. It weighs over a hundred and fifty pounds and you’re not the only fisherman who wants it.
[DOOM] I don’t care what fish you have in your bucket, Mr. Redgrave. I don’t covet your prizes. You baited your hook with lies, deceit and falsities and CJ Thorpe gobbled them up like a hungry little fish.
[DOOM] He deserved to be reeled in. Anyone that vacant in the mind, who can clearly see an unreasonably free meal, and who takes it willingly without realisation of the consequences, deserves outcome.
[DOOM] The Uprising too.
[DOOM] My concern is not with the fish you’ve reeled in, but the fish you’re attempting to catch now.
[DOOM] Old School Wrestling is a vast ocean and you’ve baited for more prizes.
[DOOM] Felix Foley, perhaps?
[DOOM] Apokalypsis?
[DOOM] What about me, Mr. Redgrave? Because in two week’s time you step into battle against Tombstone for the OSW World Heavyweight Championship and what better fish to catch than a former holder of that title?
[DOOM] What better prize to reel in than one of, if not the longest reigning OSW World Heavyweight Champions to date?
[DOOM] Therein lies my problem. I’m not a fish, Mr. Redgrave. I don’t look at a meal on a hook and take a bite. I’m not gormless. I’m not CJ Thorpe.
[DOOM] If I’m hungry, I eat.
[DOOM] And I know there’s no such thing as a free meal.
[DOOM] Next week, I dare you to have the audacity to bring the rod. I dare you to think you can catch me, Jasper.
[DOOM] Because in that ocean of fish, what you’re looking at is a Shark and if you try to bait and catch me? I’ll be the one gobbling you up.
[DOOM] And all do bow before Doom.