Fun House…

In Promo by Damien Wolfe

We used to go to a place my parents called the Arcadian Fun House. 

They told me it was the place where all the fun people in Arcadia lived, this included my Aunt Gerty. 

They would take me there and I would hear the screams of the people locked inside. 

The moans of the mentally troubled locked away from the world so as not trouble those around them.  

Poor Aunt Gerty… 

She heard voices. 

She believed the things she owned talked to her… 

That they gave her advice. 

She thought that those objects were her family. 

So, every time something broke or was stolen as is apt to happen here in Arcadia, she would break down, acting like actual person had died. 

Now, I get it I realize that it was her perception, but I now also realize that she was in the right place to get help. 

Even so, I really pitied her and everyone in there. 

All of this reminds me of the Puppetmaster which is to say the whole situation with him makes me think of dear old Aunt Gerty. 

Because this beloved old man is completely buck-nutty. 

A beloved part of every child’s life in Arcadian, even my own. 

His puppets brought so much joy to us, because it was always a beautiful day in his neighborhood. 

But now this gentle, kind soul, has become nothing more than a violent psychopath who believes his puppets talk to him. 

They’re in fact his advisors, and closest confidants.  

They are his family. 

To the point, he reacted with such fervor and aggression that he took out an entire squad of the APD. 

This was in reaction to me, taking possession of a puppet born in my image, without my permission, then this puppet being taken from me, and destroyed. 

This is a man that while beloved is a danger to the wider scope of Arcadia, but I don’t want him locked away on Deathrow. 

I have a better idea for Felix Foley because it is obvious that he has lost every bit of the plot, much like Aunt Gerty. 

Felix, you don’t deserve our punishment, you don’t deserve our wrath, instead you deserve our pity. 

It’s obvious that you’re a man who can no longer mentally survive around the common folks of Arcadia without being a clear and present danger to them. 

So, it’s time we put you away in Arcadia’s Fun House. 

Lock you away without your puppet’s voices bothering you. 

Where the only advice you’ll hear comes from qualified professionals and not some toys at the end of your arm. 

Where you can learn your puppets are objects, not family.  

So that we won’t need to pity you any longer and you can rejoin the rest of society and be well again… 

And Felix because I care about you like I cared about Aunt Gerty, and you’ve been such a great part of my childhood. 

I will do you a favor, and I will hold on to the VHS Championship until the doctors say you’re well. 

Because we can ill afford you hurting the public, you know budget cuts, pal.