Image
EPISODE #232 – “WHOOOA, ON A CHAIR”

 

 


Image
THE HEART OF THE DEMON

Click.

Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.

Crunch.

The door to The Slaughterhouse almost explodes off its hinges as the battle before it rages.

Angels and Demons have once again taken to the backstage area in their war, mercilessly murdering one another for dominance.

The Chief and Lee Crowley are leading their troops respectively from across the battlefield.

Lee’s screaming and bellowing of orders suddenly comes to a halt.

His eyes have focused on the door.

Not just the door, of course.

But whom exactly stands in front of it.

Jonathan Heartsford.

His best friend.

The man formerly known as it stands there in defiance. Crowley immediately begins to back away, looking more and more terrified of his friend’s presence as he pushes members of his demon army towards Heartsford’s direction.

The Chief spots this.

“Defend that man’s entry,” he roars.

As Demons rush towards Jonathan, but Angels cut them off at the pass, allowing The Chief to grab him and rush him off into a different direction.

With the battle continuing to rage, Crowley has vanished, leaving The Chief with Jonathan Heartsford, now led far away from the backstage war.

“Jonathan,” he utters. “You came.”

“I can’t believe he’s back here in Old School Wrestling; we committed to never coming back.”

The Chief puts hands on his shoulders.

“It’s not his fault,” he reminds him. “Lucifer has manipulated him. I need you to try and reach Lee.”

Heartsford nods.

“I’ll do my best.”

Cut.

 

 


Image
MAKE YOU MISERABLE

With a hollow whoosh, a portal opens to reveal an angry Darby Sorrow, who looks upon a barren wasteland. Nothing is in sight…or so it would seem, until Darby notices a figure appearing off in the distance. He squints his eyes, straining for a better look, but soon realizes the effort only serves to confirm his suspicion.

“Sigil.”

He rushes toward his intended target, hoping for an element of surprise on the Realm Walker…but something isn’t quite right. The closer he gets, the more he notices a shimmer here and a flicker there as the Collector turns to greet Sorrow with a chuckle.

“I figured someone would come searching for me. Whether it’s you, D’Von Chambers, or someone else, it’s an endless cycle. Time is truly a flat circle.”

This only further infuriates Sorrow.

“You know what I’m here for, then.”

Sigil merely scoffs at this.

“Answers, no doubt. Someone of my talent has picked up a fair few along his travels, storing them like trinkets in his collection until the day comes when they are needed.”

Darby is in no mood to deal with mind games, cutting to the chase immediately.

“What do you know about Voynich’s father?”

Sigil goes gravely silent at the mention of the Best Kept Secret…before killing that silence with a deep cackle.

“Tell me Darby, do you truly care that much for Voynich’s affairs…or did Colin send you on this wild goose chase?”

Darby steps forward with a snarl, but another flicker from this illusion standing before him gives the Immortal a moment of pause, realizing the folly of trying to attack a mere hologram.

“If only Gouldern could’ve lived to see the full potential of his patents. Alas, this technology you see on display belongs to me now…and so too does the answer you seek. They say the truth will set you free…but first, it will make you miserable.”

With that, a portal opens behind Darby.

“So, how miserable do you wish to be for the sake of such knowledge? Choose your next move wisely.”

On that final note, the image of Sigil flickers off as Darby turns to face the portal. With a sigh drawn from disappointment in this seemingly dead end, Darby steps through the portal…and back into the battleground of the Slaughterhouse, as the war continues to escalate before his very eyes.

Cut.

 

 


Image
SINGLES MATCH
LEIF HELVIG vs. TWO-FACE

Leif Helvig has been an unstoppable wrecking ball since he stepped into The Slaughterhouse a couple of months ago. He reduced The Indestructible Mountain to rubble, survived a shotgun blast, took his pound of flesh from America’s Son and passed the gauntlet. Two-Face is the latest lamb for the Beast of Slaughter, but will Lady Luck be shining on the former politician tonight and end The Berserker’s streak?

Two-Face is standing nonchalantly in a corner, fiddling around with his coin between his fingers. He decides to flip it and as he’s watching the coin descend and places a hand out to catch it…FRIGÖRA!!!!!! HELVIG BLASTS THE SPLIT THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE WITH THE FORCE OF A NUCLEAR REACTOR EXPLODING!!! THE VIKING JUST CHERNOBYL’D TWO-FACE!!!!

The former politician is foetal positioned on the concrete floor, Helvig drags him up and launches Two-Face straight into the crowd barrier with such brutality that part of it collapses under The Split’s weight. The Beast of Slaughter peels Two-Face out of the wreckage and unleashes a flurry of trapping headbutts, too many to number and when he’s done Helvig tosses the floppy form of the former Candidate into the ring.

The Split crawls to the corner and when he stands up, leaning on the ropes, we observe he’s wearing a crimson mask. The Beast of Slaughter wants to finish this…FRIGÖRA…..NO!!! TWO-FACE DODGES AND HELVIG GORES THE RING POST!!!! Two-Face drags The Beast out of the ropes….FLIP THE COIN!!!! OVERDRIVE NECKBREAKER!!! Can The Split pick up a shock win?…ONE…TWO…KICKOUT!!!!

Two-Face lifts Helvig up on the ropes…knife edge chop to the Viking….and another….and another! Helvig is doubled over and Two-Face aims a hard right….HELVIG CATCHES THE DICHOTOMY’S FIST!!! Pushed away, Two-Face hits the ropes for momentum, he’s looking for a cross body….HELVIG CATCHES THE SPLIT! VALKYRIE KALLAR!!! THE FRACTURE IS RAGDOLLED!!!!

Two-Face rises and Helvig charges again….FRIGÖRA!!! COUNTER!!! The Split gets up a boot to the face. As The Viking spins away, Two-Face grabs him and sets up HEADS OR TAILS!!!! COUNTERED BY HELVIG!!! BACK ELBOW!!! AND FRIGÖRA OUT OF HIS FUCKING BOOTS!!! Helvig hooks the legs….ONE….TWO…..THREEEEE!!!!

And just like that The Beast of Slaughter continues his savage rampage through the OSW roster!

WINNER: LEIF HELVIG

 

 


Image
TILTED, II

Last Week.

Falling.

Reaper and The Judge soar through open air, the ceiling of Monty Straight’s studio seemingly moving further away from them every second. Both men look up, the smiling face of the show host staring back at them as he stands at his podium.

“Have a good trip, boys! I suppose you’ll be around for another episode in the fall?”

The invisible crowd boos the pun, Monty flashing a grin to the empty seats and winking.

“The puns are for me, don’t you worry.”

Tilt.

The stage, and the studio as well, spin around, landing right beneath Judge and Reaper, the duo slamming into the hard wood with an audible thud! Judge writhes in pain as he tries to stand, but Reaper, despite having had the air knocked out of him, fights to his feet!

“Straight!”

He lunges at Monty, but Straight is gone! The stage is gone, and both men find themselves standing in the backstage of the Slaughterhouse, a battle between angels and demons going on right in front of them! Reapers backs away, looking over to Judge who slowly begins to climb to his feet.

“What the fuck do we do!?”

Reaper shouts at Judge, with the Order looking back at Reaper, sighing as he slings his axe across his shoulder.

“We? I’m going to find Straight. He’s playing with reality more each day. We don’t have time to talk, about this now.”

Before Reaper can ask what Judge means, the armored man grabs him, both of them disappearing right as the angels and demons clash in the middle!

We are left to wonder where they went as we see a figure watching the carnage.

Monty Straight. His smile glinting as one side of the battle overwhelms the other.

Cut.

 

 


Image
HEIRLOOM

Previously Recorded.

Last Week.

Mister Andy is sat on the roof of the Slaughterhouse, Hell’s Kitchen trying to return to normal after the war between Heaven and Hell has been confined inside of the building proper. He’s coughing up a storm, trying to purge the remnants of the smoke used to save him earlier.

“Where did you get the toy?” Redwing growls, suddenly in Andy’s face.

Andy is still disoriented, trying to gain his bearings from the attack from BMI as well as his ‘rescue’ from Redwing.

“Tell me?” Redwing roars.

Mister Andy has had enough, and he pushes the enraged Redwing back.

“I have tried to get you to leave me alone.” Andy starts. “I hoped that toy would bring you joy, would make you forget about whatever you think I am. Leave. Me…”

Redwing pushes him up against the roof entry door.

“Right now, I don’t care who you are.” He growls. “Tell me where. You. Got. The. Toy.”

“Some guy brought it to my shop, along with a box of other vintage Batman items.” Andy frowns. “I think he’s part of some kind of criminal group. He’s brought me various odds and ends, but that was the best one he brought in.”

Redwing releases Andy and steps back. He begins talking to himself.

“They take him the goods, then send their thugs after him?”

Turning back to Andy, Redwing has seemingly calmed down.

“You’re going to take me to the guy who brought the stuff in.” He says. “That ‘criminal group’ you mentioned is real, and they’ve been hitting a lot of places lately. They may even be linked to one Berkshire Ellison Green.”

“That’s why Shaw and CXDY came after me?” Andy asks.

Redwing nods, and then continues.

“That toy you gave me?” He begins. “It belonged to a friend of mine. He gave it to his son, as an heirloom and reminder of shared passion. I need to know where they got it from.”

He looks Andy up and down, the toymaker leaning towards the door.

“And you’re going to help me.”

Cut.

 

 


Image
SINGLES MATCH
SIGIL vs. CORVUS

Will the planeswalker successfully navigate the shadow realm!?

Both men circle one another warily. The #1 contender, Corvus, strikes first! He backs Sigil into the ropes with martial-arts offence, but The Collector rears back – THUDHE HEADBUTTS CORVUS WITH HIS METALLIC MASK! Sigil capitalises with a brutal flurry of claw-like blows – FOR THE COLLECTION! ONE… TWO—KICKOUT! The assassin isn’t out of lives.

Sigil stalks his downed foe… MERCI—CORVUS KICK! The Crow senses the incoming chop to the neck, countering with a flash kick—ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! He almost knocked Sigil out with that one! Corvus hits the ropes… He spikes Sigil with a ‘rana into the mat! He perches atop the turnbuckle – SHOOTING STAR PRESS, AKA NEVERMORE! ONE… TWO… TH—SHOULDER UP! So close!

Corvus lurks in the shadows as Sigil recovers. MARKED FOR DEA—SANDBAGGED! The Realm Walker grips the ropes, blocking the Zig-Zag. WOOSH – COSMIC LEAP! Sigil teleports behind Corvus… FINITE! The Shadow Walker eats a roundhouse kick! Sigil bends him over his knee – elbow, elbowelbow… It’s a LONG ROAD AHEAD! ONE… TWO… TWO-POINT-NINE! Timeless’ time ain’t up yet.

Sigil crouches down on his haunches, waiting. Corvus gets to his feet… SIGIL CHARGES HIM WITH THE FRONT DROPKICK – PLANESWALKER! CORVUS EVADES IT! SIGIL IS HUNG UP TO DRY IN THE CORNER! Corvus drags him away from the ropes, isolating him… GARROTTE! HE TRAPS HIM IN THE REAR NAKED CHOKE! Wait… COSMIC LEAP – SIGIL LUCKILY ESCAPES! PLAAANESWALKERRR! ONE… TWO…THREE!

Sigil conquers the shadow realm!

WINNER: SIGIL

 

 


Image
RAID

Recorded Earlier.

Tiger’s Nest Monastery, Bhutan.

As Buddhist Monks undertake their daily chores and prayers, there’s a ginormous thud at their double wooden doors.

Everyone stops to listen.

Thud.

Another, shaking the doors once again.

A monk walks over to the arch way and places his ear against the middle of the two doors.

WHOMP!

Suddenly, the doors burst off their hinges and shatter into wooden splinters as they spring open, knocking the monk backwards and onto the floor.

Hati and Skoll soon enter, rushing for the nearest thing they can attack. As the wolves ravage any monk they can find, Leif Helvig steps into the chaos.

He rushes towards the first monk he can see, delivering a Shoulder Barge that sends him flying backwards to the floor.

There’s a grin on his face.

This is a raid.

As a monk rushes him, he lifts his boot so that he flies into it before taking an axe from his holster and launching it straight into the head of another.

He walks over, putting a foot on his chest before pulling the axe from his head.

Blood splatters across his face as he does so.

“Please, stop!” The apparent leader steps forward, begging. “Surely we can come to an arrangement; a deal of sorts.”

Leif grabs him by the head using both hands.

“There are no deals to be made with the worshippers of weak idols,” he growls, slamming his head into him.

Another Headbutt.

Another.

Another.

Helvig slams his head into him repeatedly, caving the front of his skull. As the monk goes limp, he tosses him aside carelessly.

As people run for their lives, Helvig grins sinisterly.

Cut.

 

 


Image
OUR CUT

Ash and Jessie Williams are sat in a small side room in the Slaughterhouse. Ash is going over some kind of plan they have spread on the floor. Jessie is pacing.

The room is filled with tension.

“I wish you’d listen to me.” Jessie says, retreading an old argument.

“You’ve had your chance to handle things.” Ash says, his voice taking no argument. “Now, the king does things his way.”

“And the king makes some stupid ass deals. I wish you’d…” Jessie begins.

“Trouble in paradise?” A voice calls.

CXDY. Albert Shaw at his side. The Tag Team belts slung over their shoulders. Ash folds up the paper on the floor, and stands up to meet the duo.

“If you boys are here to fight, I suggest bringing your bionic pal and the rich boy. I’ll always take a four for one sale.” Ash taunts.

“I wouldn’t talk shit to us, old man.” CXDY taunts back. “I know you’ve been gone awhile, but Blood Money Inc. runs this place now.”

Ash looks around, stopping to listen for some of the war going on in the Slaughterhouse.

“Yeah, sounds like you boys are running the show.” He jerks his finger at Jessie. “Let’s get out of here, before we have to show Mr. Fancy Pants here our Boomsticks.”

Shaw blocks the way for the Chosen.

“I don’t think you get it.” He begins. “We want our cut of whatever deal you’ve got going on.”

Ash rolls his eyes.

“You don’t want any cut of this one.” He slaps his hand on Albie’s Tag Team title. “But I’d love to take these off your hands. Maybe we’ll take our cut of your gold.”

The BMI duo exchange glances, then square up with the Chosen.

“We love a good fight.” Shaw says, looking the father and son up and down. “But it’s going to take more than catchphrases and you dangling your cocks to put us down.”

Jessie shakes his head.

“What my dad meant to say is that we’re going to take your belts, and send you back to Green with your dicks cut off.”

Shaw and CXDY chuckle at the comment.

“Your insult game needs work, kid.” CXDY says. “We’ll see you guys at Pandemonium. Better rest up.”

They leave the locker room, Jessie and Ash looking at each other uneasily, their previous argument still unresolved.

Cut.

 

 


Image
SINGLES MATCH
MISTER ANDY vs. THE SANDMAN

The Toymaker and The Dream Demon. Which of these powerful forces shall walk away with the win here tonight?

The bell rings and Sandman is the first to be on the offensive as he walks towards Andy and forces him into a lock up! Andy is able to hold his own in the test of strength BUT A MASSIVE HEADBUTT BY SANDMAN FLOORS HIM! Andy rises AND TAKES ANOTHER HEADBUTT!

Sandman shows terrifying power as he heaves Andy to his feet and tosses him across the ring! The Toymaker rolls to his feet against a rope as Sandman rushes him AND GETS CAUGHT BY THE SUPERFINE TURBINE BLAST! Andy mounts Sandman and follows up with a terrifying barrage of lefts and rights!

Andy brings both arms down in a hammer fist to Sandman’s chest that keeps the Night Terror grounded as Andy gets to his feet and hauls Sandman up for a suplex! He pulls Sandman up and whips him into the ropes BUT GETS CAUGHT WITH A MASSIVE BIG BOOT! MISTER ANDY IS THROWN ACROSS THE DAMN RING!

But the Toymaker refuses to stay down as he uses the ropes to get to his feet! He rushes Sandman, both monsters colliding in the center of the ring! Andy throws a wild right- SANDMAN CATCHES IT! HE WRAPS A MASSIVE HAND AROUND ANDY’S THROAT! TO SAND! TO SAND! Sandman covers! One! Two! Three!

The Sandman has dismantled the Toymaker, looking dominant on the road to Pandemonium!

WINNER: THE SANDMAN

 

 


Image
THE PASS

Recorded Earlier

A tall building breaks the skyline, the top almost lost in the smoke that billows up from the eternal warzone. The tower, with Berkshire Elison Green’s name plastered across the nameplate, had become a bit of a headquarters for Blood Money Inc as of late.

But now, with the building seemingly at sleep, a figure approaches – yelling into the night.

“GREEN!” The voice is gruff and accusing. “GREEN!”

Silence is the only reply. With a hand scarred from severe burns, he bangs a fist on the glass entry door.

“We know you’re in there. Come out and chat, we only want to talk…” Two-Face’s voice trails off for a second, and the two sides of his face twich in tandem, as if in conversation with each other. “… Okay, that’s not true. We want to KILL YOU! Come out here and make it easier on us. We don’t want to have to go climbing up all those stairs.”

Again silence fills the air, save for the banging of his fist on the glass. Eventually, the door opens and a figure approaches from the darkness within the building. Only, it is not who Two-Face is expecting.

“You…” Two-Face seems unsure how to act. “You’re not him. Where is he?”

Zero smirks at the reaction.

“He’s not here. I’m just here to head you off at the pass. I don’t know where he is. And, let’s make this perfectly fucking clear, even if I did I there’s no way I’d tell you. You want him… You have to get through me.”

Two-Face contemplates for a second. Tilting his head from good side to bad. A coin flips into the air, caught by Two-Face and opened in his grasp.

“Well, that’s just too bad for you.”

We catch the coin in his grasp, blackened side facing upwards. But before he can react, the door is closed once more, locked up tightly and Zero has disappeared.

Cut.

 

 


Image
SHOPPING TRIP

In the middle of a wooded area, Ultimo America and Magical Miles are digging into some wet ground as Leah Lincoln watches carefully.

They both stop, absolutely exhausted.

“This is the fourth dig site in this wood today,” Ultimo complains.

“When you said we were going on a shopping trip, I thought we were going to Target,” Miles agrees.

Leah rolls her eyes.

“We’ve all ingredients except two,” she announces. “In this wood a box is buried that contains one of them. The location of the box is somewhat unclear.”

“You think?” Ultimo scoffs.

They both get back to work, digging until their shovels make a clang upon impact with metal.

Both men quickly use their hands to pry the box from the ground, lifting it out of the hole to where Leah stands.

She bends down, opening it.

Inside there are small bones, a photograph, various written notes and incantations.

“This is it,” she announces. “We just need one more thing and unfortunately, neither of you are going to like it.”

Ultimo and Miles look at each other.

“What is it?” Miles asks.

Leah shakes her head, as if to say nothing else and begins walking away. Ultimo and Miles pull themselves from the hole in exhaustion and slowly begin walking after her.

“Are we sure about this?” America asks.

“She claims she can bring Dewey back,” Miles confirms. “Why shouldn’t we at least try that? If she’s lying then we’ve lost nothing but some hard work.”

Ultimo nods.

Cut.

 

 


Image
TRIOS MATCH
THE REAPER, THE JUDGE & MONTY STRAIGHT vs. SWEET ALICE, REDWING & ASH WILLIAMS

The fates of The Reaper, The Judge & Monty Straight have been intertwined for several months. Tonight they must put aside their differences as they join forces against a motley crew of OSW’s avengers in Crimson Justice, The Uncrowned Queen and The Chosen One.

Reaper and Redwing get the match started, the vigilantes vying for the advantage. It’s Reaper with an arm twist and clothesline combination to Crimson Justice. The Harvester peels the Red Knight off the mat…SWIFT REVENGE!!! REDWING IS SPIKED BY THE DDT!!! Cover from The Harvester but Ash Williams is in to break the fall before a ONE COUNT!

The Chosen One is sent back to his corner, Redwing recovers and surprises Reaper….KILLING JOKE IN A NEUTRAL CORNER!!! Redwing tags in Williams, who hops onto the top rope….CALL OF THE CHOSEN!!!! FAIL!!! Reaper rolls to his corner and tags in The Judge. Order drags Ash into a standing legscissors, RESTORATION!!! NO!!! COUNTER!!! Fractured with a flurry of punches and as they drop to the mat, the Chosen One locks in SOUL NECROSIS!!!

SHOTGUN BLAST!!!! THE REAPER ALMOST DECAPITATES ASH WILLIAMS WITH A SUPERMAN PUNCH TO BREAK THE SUBMISSION HOLD!!! THE RING IS SWAMPED BY THE REMAINING COMPETITORS!!!!

Sweet Alice takes Reaper DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE!!! It’s a DEAL BREAKER for Redwing at the hands of Monty Straight!!! The Deal Maker then tries to capitalise on The Dreamer but his attempted TERMS AND CONDITIONS is countered and after a dropkick, The Uncrowned Queen makes Monty TERRIBLY LATE!!!!

THE VERDICT!!!! FROM THE JUDGE TO SWEET ALICE!!!! NIGHT NIGHT SWEETHEART!!! The distraction plays into Ash Williams’ hands….BOOMSTICK!!!! The Judge is flattened and Fractured covers for ONE….TWO……THREE!!!!

The Chosen One sees out the carnage to get his team through in this encounter!

WINNERS: ALICE, WILLIAMS AND REDWING

 

 


Image
ANALYSIS

Two-Face is busy planning, looking into every possible angle he can as to the whereabouts of his main target, BEG. Sitting at a desk that looks almost as two-faced as he does, half dressed to perfection and half a depressing, bare soulless state, the snarl on his face shows he has not forgotten about his confrontation with Zero a few days ago.

A thought that is thrust into the forefront of his mind as the screen in front of him bursts into life without warning. Zero’s face smirks at him from the other side of the screen.

“Surprise, bitch.”

Two-Face presses keys on the keyboard, trying to gain some control over his computer but Zero simply laughs.

“I wouldn’t bother. I’ll return control once we have finished our little chat.”

The screen pops up with a photo, a familiar photo. The photo that had sent Two-Face on his crusade for BEG’s blood in the first place. Zero’s voice continues.

“I’ve been looking into this little photo of yours. Analysing it. We wouldn’t want to rush into a war without all of the facts now would we. Surely, you two are not men that want to be manipulated…”

Two-Face doesn’t speak, but the charred side of his face snarls.

“I think you’ll find what I’ve discovered in my analysis interesting. Look at the shadow of Berkshire here.” A red ring forms around BEG in the image. “Or lack thereof.”

Two-Face laughs.

“It’s night time. Last I checked, shadows don’t form at night.”

Zero continues.

“True, but look at the other subjects in the photo. The car particularly. The street lighting is causing a distinct shadow that falls 78 degrees to the North. But BEG, standing right next to it, under the same light, has no shadow.

It is not natural. There is no way he stands there in that lighting and forms no shadow. It’s a very good job of doctoring a photo, but a fake nonetheless. You’ve been dupedmotherfucker.

Two-Face is silent for a moment, but the sound of a coin tossing in the air fills the ambience. Eventually, he speaks, out of the good half of his face.

“We want to believe you. Really we do… But, the coin has already spoken. We cannot change the fate of the coin, and yours has been sealed. Nice try.”

Before Zero can retort, Two-Face has stood from his seat, grabbed the screen and tossed it clear across the room. It explodes, shattering glass into a billion pieces and leaving Two-Face in solitude once more.

Cut.

 

 


Image
OH BROTHER OF MINE

Recorded Earlier.

Fire.

Raging fire.

Luke Storm is asleep, but this is not a dream – no, this is a nightmare.

He stands in the middle of a roaring inferno. The skies are red, the ground is reddened brown and the flames lick at every edge of his vision.

There, Luke finds Lee Crowley.

Only he isn’t alone.

Stood beside him is The Sandman.

Suddenly and abruptly, everything else quietens.

Except them.

“I’m looking for Edward Newton,” The Sandman asks Crowley. “Where is he?”

“He’s here in hell,” Crowley admits. “Rotting for all eternity, of course.”

The Sandman looks back to Luke Storm – who’s face is now as white as a sheet. He looks sickened to his stomach.

“He didn’t make it to paradise?” Asks The Sandman, still looking back at Storm, who appears frozen in place.

Edward Newton?” Crowley queries. “The man who murdered the wife and children of Bruce Van Chan? The man responsible for more torture and pain on Earth than a multitude of villains combined? No, he didn’t make it to paradise. He burns here.”

Luke looks almost distraught.

No, please…

Everything suddenly fades away and goes to black.

Luke Storm has his head lowered, tears now streaming from his face. He’s distraught as The Sandman approaches.

“There’s no knowing the truth about your beloved brother, is there?” The Dream Demon announces. “This dream could be true; it could be false. I could’ve shown you my conversation with Crowley from one of his dreams, or I could’ve made it up.”

The Tempest’s head rises, his tear strewn face now etched with rage. He looks angrier than we’ve ever seen him.

I will fucking kill you,” he growls.

The Sandman laughs.

“You’ll try,” he states with certainty. “But that won’t bring your brother back, will it?”

Snap.

Luke Storm suddenly wakes up in a sweat. He pushes himself up his bed so that his back is against his headboard and his knees are against his chest.

Cut.

 

 


Image
TAG TEAM MATCH
RUNE & DEATHNOTE vs. PYRE & VIPER ROBERTS

What happens when you cross a conspiracy theorist, a cult leader, a monarch of Wonderland and Death’s scrivener? A total clusterfuck of a tag team match, so let’s get on with the action – DING! DING!

Deathnote and Viper start off the contest, picking up from their main event clash last week. Roberts takes The Author of Death into a side headlock but Deathnote squirms out and unleashes two savage knife edge chops to The Head Snake. The God of the New World wants to make it a trio but the Viper counters with a rising knee to the gut. Roberts looks for a backdrop suplex but Deathnote rolls out and lands on his feet…ENZIGURI TO THE VIPER!!! The Scribe tags in Rune.

The Glitch charges straight for Viper but The Head Snake has him scouted, grabbing Rune by the head, The Head Snake tosses The Painted Man over the top rope and out of the ring. Deathnote is back in and attacks Viper from behind. Pyre enters the fray…MISSILE DROPKICK…Deathnote rolls out of the ring and All That Remains gives hot pursuit. The distraction gives Rune a chance to rush Viper from behind….TEAR THE VEIL!!! MASSIVE ZIG ZAG….ONE….TWO….TH-KICKOUT!!!

The Glitch lifts Roberts…off the ropes…WOKE LARIAT….COUNTER…ODE TO THE SNAKE!!!! The Head Snake tags in the Queen of Flames. Pyre immediately leaps onto the top turnbuckle…DANCING FLAMES!!!! SANDBAGGED AND COUNTERED….DTH!!!! Rune locks in an STF on the Fire Witch!

But Viper intercepts with a stomp on The Crank. Deathnote is back into the ring, Viper with a hard right sends him onto the ropes…CACTUS CLOTHESLINE…Viper and Deathnote topple out of the ring!

It leaves Rune and Pyre in the ring. The Glitch has The Fire Witch in a headlock…VEILBREAKER!!! NO!!! Pyre escapes….STANDING CORKSCREW FLIP…..INTO A STUNNER!!!! WHAT A FUCKING MODIFIED DANCING FLAMES!!!! Cover for ONE……TWO………THREEEEEEE!!!!

It’s a flaming hot snake bite for Rune & Deathnote as The Queen of Flames and the Viper combine to pick up the win!

WINNERS: PYRE & VIPER ROBERTS

 

 


Image
A REAL HIGH SCORE

Back in the Forever Friends hideout we find Chunky Moses, alone, stationed in front of a retro arcade machine, his portly figure outlined by the glow of the screen. There is no panic or over the top movement, instead every button press is precise and considered.

“New hi-score – bwilliant!

He starts to input his initials in the winners list.

“Dude, that was so good!” Stoner’s voice cuts through the silence as he steps out of the shadows. “I’m not here to cause trouble. I just thought, after our little chat last week, that I’d drop in and make sure you’re okay.”

“I’d heard you were a record holder,” Stoner continues. “But to see it in person is something else. And a new hi-score too! What an honour!”

“I get the feeling thats not why you’re weally here…”

“You’re too smart to be fooled by the likes of me, Chunky. I just wanted to offer my help. You and your friends were in such a rush to get away last week, so I thought I’d bring the ingredients for my method of help to you. The truth is you won’t need to go off searching for these ingredients. There is just one ingredient, and it’s here in my pocket.”

Stoner pulls out the most perfectly rolled joint you’ve ever seen, and holds it up slowly in front of Chunky, before talking again.

“This little thing here, is like the joystick to your own happiness. You have a play with one of these and you’ll soon find that your problems feel lighter. That’s why I thought it might help you and your friends.”

He smiles.

“It won’t make you forget Dewey, and I’d never suggest anything that would, but it will open your mind. You’ll see that your friend is in a better place now, and that all this voodoo mumbo jumbo is a waste of time.”

Chunky looks confused.

“Listen, I’m not asking for a commitment. Just think about it with your other two friends. Think about that feeling you get as you hit your new hi-score on this machine of yours. Imagine that feeling ten times over, every single day. Now that’s what you call a real HIGH score.

Stoner starts to leave the room, leaving Chunky looking on speechless.

“Besides,” he says as he closes the door behind him. “I get the feeling you would really enjoy the munchies…”

Chunky turns back to the arcade machine to see that Stoner has left the joint he produced resting along the top of the buttons of his machine.

Cut.

 

 


Image
BLIND MICE

Deathnote is slowly stalking the backstage area, keeping apprised of his surroundings.

He rounds a corner, and sees shadowy figure a few doors down. A grin creeps across the face of the New God as he approaches slowly.

“Simon says keep your eyes closed!”

Immediately Deathnote’s eyes close and he growls, standing his ground. Deathnote slowly turns his head, listening to his surroundings as he tries to open his eyes against his command.

“It must be frustrating for you, Deathnote. You have the power to take a life.”

POW!

Deathnote takes a punch to the gut that drops him to his knees. Simon’s form stands over the kneeling Shinigami.

“Every life that ever existed sits in that notebook of yours. A ledger of death and pain that no mere mortal can fully comprehend.”

Deathnote gets to his knees just as his head is grabbed and slammed into the wall. Deathnote crumbles to the ground again.

“But all I have to do is say two little words, and an almighty Shinigami is nothing but my personal puppet.”

“Keep talking, Simon.”

Deathnote gets to his feet, shaking his head. He calms himself as Simon comes in for another shot. But Deathnote manages to catch the Taskmaster by the neck, eyes still closed per command.

“Your tricks will only serve you so long.”

Simon manages to free himself and scurries free before Deathnote can grab his mask.

“I will get you and I will silence you, Simon.”

Simon goes for another sneak attack, but just barely misses a wild swing from Deathnote as he tries to listen for Simon’s movements.

“Death is coming, Simon. It comes for us all.”

Deathnote’s eyes open as Simon is no longer near the enraged Shinigami.

“And I will take great pleasure in bringing it to you.”

Cut

 

 


Image
VHS CHAMPIONSHIP
ZERO © vs. STONER

Zero has been on a huge tear since he first entered OSW but as dominant as the VHS Champion has been, you should always expect the unexpected as Stoner steps up for his first big test here tonight. Can Zero remain VHS Champion or will he fall to the unpredictable Stoner?The bell sounds as Zero rushes forward, nearly taking Stoner’s head off with the Firewall Clothesline, staying down as he grips the back of Stoner’s head with his left arm before pummeling with bionic rights that glaze the pothead’s eyes over more then usual. Zero pulls him up to his feet, trying for a suplex that Stoner slips out of, landing on his feet behind Zero

BELL CLAP! Stoner smacks the champion’s ears, disrupting his equilibrium before delivering a lightning fast Reverse DDT. Zero stumbles to his feet into a series of palm strikes before a high leaping Bionic Elbow leaves him out on his feet. Stoner backs up a few paces, his back hitting the nearby turnbuckles before he rushes forward, hitting the DROPKICK OF DOOM!

Zero crashes to the mat as Stoner rolls forward from his momentum, grabbing hold of Zero’s leg as he does before trying to lock in a half boston crab. Zero manages to slip out of the attempted submission, kicking Stoner right in the jaw before gripping him around the throat, ABSOLUTE ZERO!

Zero steps back, waiting for Stoner to get to his feet before delivering a hard kick to the gut, PUNK CITY…Stoner slips out, SPANKER DANKER PICKLE! The Edge-O-Matic hits hard but Stoner doesn’t cover, instead getting an idea as he slowly climbs up to the top rope, waiting for Zero to stumble to his feet before flying off right into PUNK CITY KILLER! The Stunner hits out of nowhere as Zero drops down over the unconscious Stoner for the One…Two…THREE!!!

Zero remains VHS Championship here tonight as he managed to avoid Stoner’s unpredictable offense to keep hold of his title and his dominant run.

WINNER AND STILL VHS CHAMPION: ZERO

 

 


Image
A DEAL

Backstage, Viper Roberts and Pyre are talking after their match.

“You did pretty good out there, kid.”

“Kid? I don’t think you know who you’re talking to Viper.”

“I know who exactly I’m talking to and if that’s your response to being called a kid, you certainly are one.”

“Fair play, old man. Now, I know you’re not one for pleasantries so why are you here?”

“First, don’t call me an old man.”

“What did you say? If that’s your response to being called one, you certainly are, right?”

“Well played, second, one of my little snakes heard you wanted to see me.”

“He heard right, why does Alice freak out around you? Since that Buddhist bastard got in her head, she’s been a wall around me.”

“She must not be a big fan of snakes.”

“Don’t play around with me.”

“I’m not, you’re not the only one around here with powers Pyre. I saw the fun you had with her and she looked like an easy pawn to play with.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m making her see the worst version of a snake her creative mind can come up with, it must be an outright nightmare in there.”

“Can you teach me or at least keep doing it?”

“Sure, I owe you one.”

Pyre looks a bit confused at that last comment but shrugs it off thinking only Alice will play his mind games. She sits down ready to learn.

They don’t notice her but Alice is walking down the hall ready to leave the Slaughterhouse.

She sees the colossal snake talking to Pyre. It’s bigger than last time and blood is dripping from his fangs.

Viper senses her and stares her down, looking like he’s ready to pounce.

He turns around to Pyre.

“Watch this.”

He snaps his fingers which sounds like a hiss to Alice and his snakes chase her, she runs down the hall screaming. For every man, she sees 10 snakes and she is petrified.

Pyre and Viper laugh hysterically.

“Looks like I have plenty to learn.”

Cut.

 

 


Image
ANYWHERE

With no match tonight, Voynich is not in attendance at the Slaughterhouse. Instead, he is walking through the streets of New York City, taking it all in and walking through the throngs of people. With all that’s going on in the warring Slaughterhouse, it’s nice to have a night off.

Except for that feeling going up and down the Champion’s spine.

Someone is following him.

With a determined grin, Voynich ducks down into an alleyway, ready to fight as the man behind him turns down the corner.

“You’ll have to try harder than that, Corvus.” Voynich taunts.

But it’s not Corvus standing there. It’s just a random man, who looks confused as hell.

“Fool.” A voice whispers from behind Voynich. A knife blade is pressed up against his throat.

Corvus is here. He releases Voynich, and tosses a coin to the confused man with a nod.

“You’re a smart man, Voynich. You’ve done many things, seen many sights. Were our paths different, we may have even been on the same side.”

The World Champ shakes his head.

“You don’t know a thing about me, Corvus.” He says. “Just because you’re able to stalk me anywhere I go, it doesn’t make you better than me in the middle of the ring. I’m not worried one bit about you. Because you need me alive and well going into Pandemonium, otherwise your Level Up win doesn’t mean a damn thing.”

Corvus smiles.

“I know everything about you, Voynich. Your victories. Your failures. I even know about that girl back in 2014. Jeanne, was it?”

Voynich reddens as he continues.

“Have no fear, my friend. You’ll make it to Pandemonium alive. ”

He steps back into the darkness.

“As far as the ‘well’ part of your statement, I make no promises. Just know that if you earn my respect, I have information that you may find very interesting.”

Corvus is gone, and Voynich is left alone.

He looks annoyed as hell.

Cut.

 

 


Image
IRON MAN MATCH
LUKE STORM vs. BANZAN

Two of the greatest wrestlers in the Slaughterhouse era step head to head here tonight. Will the Mountain reign supreme or will the Storm erode him down to a mere molehill?

The bell sounds, both men ignoring the referee as they rush forward,

MAGGA
LIGHTING STRIKE!

Knee and Foot hit flush upon the other but Banzan gets the better of the exchange, stumbling on his feet as the kick just grazes his chin while the knee crushes against Storm’s skull. Luke crashing to the mat as Banzan hooks the leg for the cover

ONE
……
………
……….
TWO
……….
………
………
THREE!!!

Luke Storm:0 Banzan: 1

Banzan takes the very early lead here, shaking the cobwebs from the Superkick as Storm slowly gets to his feet, his brain got rattled by that massive knee, slow to get up a fact that the Mountain notices. Pummeling the slowly rising Storm with hard hammer fists before lifting him up off the mat with huge uppercuts to the sternum. A stiff slicing elbow to the cheek spins Storm around

BEFORE HE’S SHOWN TRUE SUFFERING EXISTS! Storm lands on the back of his head with that Saito Suplex but Banzan holds on, pulling Storm up and delivering a second DUKKA…A THIRD before finally picking up the limp Luke Storm and throwing him into the air with tremendous power before grabbing him in mid air

ULTIMATE SUFFERING! DUKKA BACKDROP DRIVER!

Storm looks completely out of it as Banzan hooks the leg

ONE
……
………
……….
TWO
……….
………
………
THREE!!!

Luke Storm: 0 Banzan: 2

And just like that, the Tempest is already down 2 in this Iron Man Contest, a margin that Banzan looks to widen as he pulls Storm up, delivering a mammoth headbutt that sends his eyes rolling back into his skull before Banzan lifts him up high, looking for a ring shaking Powerbomb

ONE HANDED BULLDOG!

Storm just counters out of the Powerbomb, sending Banzan face first into the canvas but he’s on shaky legs, stumbling into the corner as he tries to refocus himself. Slapping himself around the skull to refocus himself, he charges at a rising Banzan

KNEE TO THE FACE…NECKBREAKER! Banzan gets driven back down to the canvas from that combination move as Storm rolls through, beginning to deliver a ground and pound to the surprised Banzan who manages to block the fevered strikes before rolling Storm off him. Storm rolls back to his feet, rushing forward at a kneeled Mountain

LIGHTNING STRIKE…

URANAGE!

Banzan catches Storm mid jump, driving him back down to the canvas with a rib breaking Uranage. The Mountain backing up as Storm slowly rises, coughing up glob of bright red blood onto the mat as Banzan rushes forward

SAMUDAYA! THE SHINING TRIANGLE IS LOCKED IN!

Will the Mountain make the relentless Luke Storm tap for the first time in his OSW career? Storm is fighting, trying to hulk himself up but he’s barely able to lift the near 350lbs of weight hanging off his neck before he falls back to his knees. Storm is fading fast but he refuses to give in here, refuses to drop another fall as his legs kick back, trying to find the ropes as he manages to kick hard, slingshotting over Banzan as he traps him in a modified pinfall

ONE
……
………
……….
TWO
……….
………
………
THREE!!!

Luke Storm: 1 Banzan: 2

Luke Storm just came back with that pinfall out of nowhere as Banzan lets go of the Triangle, rocking Storm with a stiff Shotei before backing up a few paces

ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE POINT PALM STRIKE! THE TIGER CLAW STRIKES TRUE!

Storm holds his chest in pain, walking forward a few paces in stubborn refusal before collapsing to the mat as Banzan makes the easy pinfall

ONE
……
………
……….
TWO
……….
………
………
THREE!!!

Luke Storm: 1 Banzan: 3

Banzan picks up another fall as the Tempest’s odds on winning this match slip further and further. The Mountain backs up, looking for the killing blow as Storm slowly stumbles to his feet

MAGG…STORM DUCKS UNDER, HOOKING THE KNEE AND DELIVERING A LIGHTNING FAST DRAGON SCREW!

The Mountain stumbles away, dropping down to one knee as Storm quickly rushes forward, pounding down on Banzan with everything he has. Lefts, rights, knees, uppercuts, absolutely unloading on the Mountain before he’s pushed back as Banzan tries to get to his feet

LUKE STORM ROLLING FORWARD, LIGHTNING STRIKE! RIGHT ON THE FUCKING BUTTON!

Banzan is dazed but not out from that huge Superkick as Storm doesn’t hesitate, leaping up

DOWNPOUR! THE CODEBREAKER HITS FLUSH BUT STORM ISN”T DONE. Heading up to the top rope, he turns around, as everyone knows you can’t have a Downpour and a Lightning Strike without a little

THUNDER!!! The Moonsault hits flush, Storm finishing the Trifecta as he stays down for the pinfall

ONE
……
………
……….
TWO
……….
………
………
THREE!!!

Luke Storm: 2 Banzan: 3

The Tempest starts his comeback here, no one has kicked out of that lethal combination and Banzan wasn’t going to be the first. Storm gets to his feet, fired up as all hell as he tries to pull Banzan up to his feet but gets a brutal concussion delivering headbutt that sends him staggering back. Banzan spinning him around and trying for another Dukka but Storm fights out of it with heavy elbows to the skull before tripping Banzan up on the mat

AS HE LOCKS IN A STF!

Banzan is in massive pain as the Tempest pulls back with all his might, the Mountain trying to fight out of it until Storm locks underneath his jaw, pulling back with a sickening pair of fishhooks, trying to rip apart Banzan’s jaw as the Mountain quickly taps out

Luke Storm: 3 Banzan: 3

Both men are all tied up here, as Storm keeps the hold locked on, rearing back on those fish-hooks before Banzan has had enough

AND BITES DOWN!

Storm screams in pain, the lock on Banzan’s legs loosening as he transitions down into a crossface, the sheer cheek of what Storm has just done fuelling the Mountain as he rises to his feet with Storm trapped on his back. Storm tries to drag him back down but the power of Banzan is too much

SAMOAN DROP CRUSHES STORM TO THE MAT!

That takes a hell of a lot out of Banzan too as he sits down on the canvas, catching his breath, his stamina slowly depleting in this marathon contest. Both men slowly get to their feet, eyes locking on as both men know one strike could end it all. Just like the beginning, both men rush forward

LIGHTNING STRIKE
MAGGGA!

AND JUST LIKE THE BEGINNING, THE MAGGA STRIKES TRUE! The running knee knocks Luke Storm out cold as Banzan hooks the leg just as the timer begins to run down on the final seconds of this contest

ONE
……
………
……….
TWO
……….
………
………
THREE!!!

Luke Storm: 3 Banzan: 4

DING DING DING!

Banzan picks up the huge victory here tonight, outlasting the Tempest in this mammoth Iron Man match. Both men gave it their absolute all but the Mountain stood tall at the end of this contest.

WINNER: BANZAN

 


Image
WHOA, HEARTSFORD ON A CHAIR!

Lee Crowley hides in the boiler room, pacing back and forth. He’s been avoiding anywhere Jonathan Heartsford might be, all night.

The screams of Demons being slayed outside, raise an eyebrow.

And when the door opens and in walks Jon, Crowley backs up into the corner.

“You left me,” Heartsford says with anger. “You vanished into the night after his funeral and left me alone. You promised you’d never do that.”

Lee lowers his head in shame.

“I know it broke you; it damn near broke me too. Axel was a friend, a brother and a man we both loved – we tried to convince him not to come back here. We did everything we could.”

Crowley turns away. He can’t face him.

“But we were supposed to lean on each other.”

Lee’s crying.

The demon, the King of The Underworld – he’s now crying.

So is Heartsford.

I love you,” Jonathan admits. “You know I do. Our relationship should’ve withstood this.”

Whoa.

Lee Crowley and Jonathan Heartsford are in a relationship?

“We talked about marrying, about being together forever. We talked about my fears; about it somehow returning to take me over. You said you’d always be there to protect me. I promised I’d always be there to protect you.”

The King of Hell walks over to Jonathan and they embrace. Their hug turns to Crowley grabbing his head and leaning back.

He’s gotten through to him.

Only his eyes change.

They go pure red.

“That’s enough of that, don’t you think?” Lee says sinisterly.

“You’re not my Lee,” Jonathan says trying to back away. Only the grip around his head intensifies.

“No,” he says with a smile. “I’m not your LeeI’m your Lucy.”

The terror in the eyes of Jon is palpable.

Suddenly, we flicker to outside the boiler room.

As if in an instant, we switched perspectives.

The boiler room door opens and out walks Lee Crowley, his eyes still a sheer, dark and terrifying red.

“Whooooaaa, Heartsford on a chair,” he sings as he exits.

The door behind him remains open and we peer inside.

What we see is horrifying.

Jonathan Heartsford lays dead, his head mangled inside a steel chair, his eyes bulging and popping out of his skull.

Blood everywhere.

Cut.