[A ladder stands in the middle of the lab. It’s fifteen feet tall. Doom stands at the bottom with his hands on his hips.]
[DOOM] The ladder.
[DOOM] An aluminum construction. Lightweight and non-corrosive. An upgrade from the previously used wooden ladders; these were easy rotten and affected by storage and circumstances.
[DOOM] I’ve stood at the bottom of this ladder ahead of invasion and considered upgrading it. I’ve considered using my superior intelligence to make it better. Why? Because if I must climb one to regain an opportunity at my stolen OSW World Championship that has been passed around like a party favor, then it’d be to my advantage to improve it.
[DOOM] Stability, weight… core design and function. Could you imagine the bells and whistles I could add to such a thing?
[DOOM pauses, waving a queue of DOOMops over. The men line up before the ladder.]
[DOOM] But what’d be in my best interest would also be in the best interest of those I’m competing against and that simply won’t do, will it?
[He nods at one of the men. He climbs the first ladder, only for the rung to immediately snap with weight pressed upon it. The DOOMops soldier stumbles.]
[DOOM] A very rudimentary method of adjustment. All I did was saw the first rung so that when any substantial weight was placed upon it, it’d collapse.
[The next solider steps up, climbing onto the second step. Nothing happens, and with a nod, he’s convinced to continue up another.]
[BOOOOOOOM!]
[An explosion blasts the solider off the ladder, sending blood spatter in various directions, including over DOOM. The man hits the concrete floor and screams as blood profusely spews from where his legs used to be.]
[Doom waves soldiers in to drag him away.]
[DOOM] A booby trap of sorts. Not my best work, but enough to incapacitate my opponent.
[Grunt] Sir, Dave is dead.
[DOOM] Correction… enough to brutally kill my opponent. Make note of that in my subject diary, will you?
[Grunt] Very well sir.
[Doom waves the next reluctant DOOMops soldier in, who looks back at his colleagues who push him forward. He steps on the secure rungs, taking a deep breath before stepping up to the next one. Then the next. He’s right at the top two rungs and reaches for the briefcase when two metal straps wrap around his legs with such force, they snap him over backwards.]
[He falls, breaking in half at the knees.]
[Suddenly, Doom appears in the air beside him, floating in mid-air.]
[DOOM] That looks… uncomfortable. Get him down, will you?
[The others rush to help.]
[DOOM] I could’ve made improvements to the ladder that benefit all. I could’ve improved the stability, weight and design – I could’ve added functionality that assists the climber. But why would I want to help anyone but myself?
[DOOM] You see, whilst the other five will be attempting to climb potentially dangerous and booby trapped ladders that I have improved… it dawned on me that I need not take the ladder to the top.
[DOOM] After all, why climb when you can fly?
[DOOM] Brutal violence won’t help win Invasion…
[DOOM] But it’ll help.
[DOOM] So will hover boots.