VHS #147 – DAYBREAK

DRIVEBY
SOMEWHERE ELSE[Click.] [Static covers the screen as a Play ► symbol appears in the bottom right-hand corner.] [The sound of squealing tyres echoes loudly as a black van swerves in view. It takes every corner with speed, finally arriving outside Jackson Memorial Hospital. It barely even stops before the back doors are thrust open and two men in balaclavas toss the prone body of a man out.] [He hits the deck hard and rolls.] [The van quickly speeds away, the two men reaching out the close the doors as they once again drive erratically through the intersection and escape.] [The sound of running footsteps can be heard as Kane Doebern frantically enters frame. He reaches the body and turns it over, revealing a beaten, bruised and battered Redmond Quinn.]

“Jesus Christ,” [Kane says, helping him up.] “Somebody help! HELP!”

[Quinn groggily mumbles, blood dripping from his mouth.] “Where am I?” [he barely says.] “What… why are you here?”

[Doebern helps him back to his feet, with one arm wrapped around his shoulder.]

“You’ve been missing for a week, Redmond,” [Kane says with shock.] “No-one knew where you went. The police have been looking for you and everything. What the hell happened to you?”

[Quinn looks at him.]

“A week?”

“That’s right. You’ve got a match tonight against Jacen Novan for the VHS Championship but that’s clearly not going to happen. We need to get you some treatment.”

[Redmond pushes Kane away, stumbling forward and grasping for the nearest thing he could grab; a street light.]

“No,” [he mumbles.] “They’re not taking that from me too.”

[Quinn somehow stumbles forward, hobbling down the street towards the taxi ramp. Kane looks towards him in shock, his mouth agape.]

“What do you mean? What else did they take from you?”

[The Teacher doesn’t respond.] [Cut.]

ALFIE BUTTON VS. MICHAEL GRAVES
SINGLES MATCH

[Tonight, it is contrast in every sense of the word. Contrast in style, contrast in color, contrast in general personality. As contrast turns into conflict, will Alfie Button or Michael Graves come out on top? We find out next!] [DING! DING! Alfie instantly rolls outside, stands on the barricade and starts dancing for the fans! Some are cheering, some are confused, but all are interested. Except for Michael Graves who climbs on top of the turnbuckle! He jumps! Leaping clothesline to Alfie who did not see that coming! They fall into the crowd! Graves gets up and starts stomping on the back of Alfie’s head! He pulls Alfie up by the Hair! STO INTO THE BARRICADE! Alfie slumps into a seated position! Grave charges! He’s going for the cannonball! Alfie gets out of the way and Graves crashes through the barricade!] [Graves is arching his back in agony and Alfie is scrambling to the apron! He hops on the apron and jumps! BUTTON’S GOT TALENT! Springboard moonsault to a prone Graves right onto that barricade! Alfie pulls Graves up and rolls him into the ring! He covers! One…Two…kick out by Graves! HERE’S ALFIE… Standing shooting star press! No! Graves pulls his knees up! Hard landing by Button! Button is clutching his ribs and Graves pulls him onto his shoulders! DEVASTATOR! What a brutal shock treatment! He covers! One…Two…Thr…No! Kick out by Button! He pulls Alfie up and locks him in the torture rack!] [Alfie looks like he might have to tap out here! He wriggles out! NO…IT’S A SUPERKCIK! Great superkick by Alfie as he ays to the crowd! Alfie hops over the ropes onto the apron! He’s calling for Graves to get up! Graves is pulling himself up! Alfie jumps and spins onto the rope! He leaps at Graves! 720 DDT! No! Graves catches him! He turns it into a brainbuster! Button got planted! Graves covers! One…Two…Three! No! Alfie got his foot on the ropes! Graves is enraged and he starts dragging Button into the middle of the ring! MERCILESS! Graves has the dragon sleeper and the body scissors locked in tight! Alfie has no choice! He taps out!] [What a win by Graves over a game Alfie Button! The darkness prevails over the light tonight!]

THE DEAL II
[An old, tattered shoebox is tossed onto the desk of Nate Washington. He looks at it, then at the man presenting it. A weary, pale Luke Cole. Washington sits up in his seat and takes the lid off the box.] [Cold. Hard. Cash.]

“Nice work, man.” [he says, not looking up from the money.]

“So, I’m done now right?” [Cole asks, his voice noticeably lacking any confidence.] “We’re even?”

[Nate sniggers to himself, rubbing his chin as he grins.]

“Man, we ain’t even close’ta done. There ain’t no wa–”

“–I’m getting off the gear. I need out. I gotta get sober. I can’t be aroundthisshitanymore.” [Cole interrupts, his words getting faster and closer as he speeds through his thought process.] [Washington readjusts in his seat.]

“Look, man, you work for me now. That’s how it i–”

“Hundred grands worth. Can you get me a hundred grands worthofgear?”

[Washintgon’s eyebrow rises.]

“You got a deal?”

“I got a deal man. I know a few lads lookin’, I know a few. But they need a hundred grands worth. Can ya?”

[Washington takes a moment.]

“Yeah. I can do that for ya man. You set the meet, I’ll drive us, yeah?”

“This time next week. Nice one. Nextweekyeahniceone.”

[Click.]

HAPPY VS. KANE DOEBERN
SINGLES MATCH

[Tonight, it is a clash between the sheltered and the storm as Kane Doebern takes on Happy! Will the American football make it to the end zone or will Happy take him down Waterboy style? We find out next!] [DING! DING! Happy extends his hand out for a handshake! Kane shakes it without hesitation! Kane pulls out a coin! He wants to do a coin toss to see who starts NFL style! Happy agrees! Happy says he chooses tails! Kane flips the coin! It’s heads! Poor Happy! Kane runs through Happy with a spear! Happy holds his stomach and says good hit…my turn! Happy does a spear of his own! What a hit! Happy is excited, he climbs to the top rope and cheers with the fans! Kane pops up and grabs Happy by the waist from behind! GERMAN SUPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE!] [Kane is done with the fun and games as he mounts Happy and starts delivering massive hammer fists! He pulls Happy up and Irish whips him to the ropes! BOOMSTICK OUT OF NOWHERE! Superman punch by Happy and Kane is down! Happy is jumping up and down waiting for Kane to get back up! He grabs Kane by the throat and he is going for Bye Bye Birdie! Kane is too heavy! Kane laughs and slams Happy down with the uranage! Kane goes to the corner and waits for Happy to get up! Happy stands up and Kane charges! THE HANGMAN 7’S! That running lariat almost took Happy’s head off!] [Kane covers! One…Two…No! Happy gets the shoulder up! Kane grabs Happy by the head and tucks it between his legs! He hoists Happy up on his shoulders and he is going for a sit out powerbomb! No! Happy wriggles out of it! SHADOWKICK! He hit all of that superkick but Kane is still standing! He goes for another one! Kane catches the leg! He turns it into a Saito suplex! BORLAND SUPLEX! What a reversal! Kane lifts him up again but Happy with a HIGH FIVE TO THE FACE! That pisses Kane off and he charges at Happy! Happy uses the momentum to hoist Kane on his shoulders! HAPPY ENDING! That airplane spin made Kane all dizzy and he flops to the ground! Happy covers! One…Two…Three! Happy wins!] [What a win by Happy as he shows his resiliency and strength against a very game Kane Doebern!]

HISTORIUM
BACKSTAGE

[Jacen Novan sits in an open area of the Tap Room, legs crossed on the concrete. Uncharacteristically exposed, the Ashla glows within him as his mind seems to be in another place entirely.]

“Finally!”

[The glow fades from Novan as his eyes slowly open.]

“Dakota Faye. I’ve been expecting you.”

“Sorry, old man, but I’m here on business. Every road I’ve been down leads to you, so I’ve got some questions.”

[Novan stands to his feet in one slick motion.]

“I know why you’re here. Let me see it.”

[Almost instantly, Faye reaches into the bag at her side and withdraws the metal cube she discovered last week. At her touch, a small green glow illuminates both of them. But Faye looks confused.]

“What did you do to me?”

[Novan smiles, his eyes locked onto the cube.]

“Can’t you feel it, Dakota? Your finding of the Historium was no twist of fate.”

[She backs away from Novan.]

“All I feel is the hair on the back of my neck raising up. What the hell are you? What the hell is this box?”

[Novan reaches his hand out.]

“Give me the Historium, Dakota Faye, and return to your search for artifacts.”

[She starts to take a step forward, but then she shakes her head, almost as if knocking the cobwebs off.]

“This is mine, Novan. I found it, and I’m keeping it. You can show me what it is, and get whatever you need out of it. But at the end of the day, it stays in my collection.”

[Menace seemingly evaporating, Novan lets out a small shrug with a grin.]

“Very well. In one week, I will show you what you desire. Perhaps once you have become more learned, you will understand why the Historium is precious to me.”

[She chuckles.]

“I don’t care if it’s got your soul in it, it’s staying with me. I’ll see you next week.”

[She marches out of the room, while Novan drops the smile.]

“Yes, you will. By the will of the Ashla, you will give me what I desire.”

[Novan slowly backs into the shadows, his reason for being in the open revealed and temporarily resolved.] [Cut.]

LEVEL TWO
BACKSTAGE

[The backstage corridors of the Tap Room.] [We join Happy who nonchalantly marches down a hall.] [And suddenly…] [He’s gone!] [Pulled behind a barely opened door. Pulled into the darkness. A darkness that consumes us all until…] [A light. It’s a janitor’s closet of sorts. Tight quarters. And Happy finds himself staring into the intense face of none other than Gameboy!]

“Hi!”

[The carefree mentality of the man standing in front of him makes Gameboy pause.]

“Hey” [Player One almost reluctantly responds.] “I’m Gameboy”.

“Nice to meet you Gameboy” [The Happiest Man on Earth says with a grin as he grips Gameboy’s shoulder.] “I’m Happy!”

“Yea kid, I know who you are. I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you about Gaia!”

“Oh, Gaia!” [Happy sighs into an almost dreamy state.] “She’s great isn’t she?”

[Gameboy scoffs.]

“You’re already pussy whipped ain’t ya? This is worse than I thought!”

[Happy frowns with seriousness. His hands lifting into the air.]

“Hey, I didn’t do anything to anyone’s cat!”

“What?” [Gameboy grimaces.] “No. Kid. Look. Gaia, she’s… not your friend!”

“She’s not?” [Happy questions, a look of confusion on his face.] “But she said she wants to protect me!”

[Gameboy shakes his head, sympathizing with the lad.]

“Gaia is acting upon her own desires. She doesn’t want to protect you. She wants to consume you. To make you a part of her!”

[Happy listens in denial, shaking his head.]

“No, I…” [The Happiest Man on Earth continues.] “I’m confused. I don’t know who to believe.”

[Gameboy places a hand on Happy’s shoulder.]

“I get it kid, I do.” [Game-O comforts.] “You just have to believe me. Gaia is the boss battle. This is just Level Two, but I’m moving on with you or without you. Think about it!”

[Gameboy again gives a reassuring slap to the shoulder of Happy before exiting the storage room. The door left open as he exits.] [Happy’s uncertain eyes follow his newfound friend from the darkness where we suddenly join him in the hallway as Gameboy walks towards us.] [And suddenly, the door begins to shut revealing Gaia.] [She stands in a menacing pose just outside the room where Happy waits. Her jaw popping with rage along with her tightened fists as she stares at the distancing Gameboy.] [And we fade to black.]

MYSTERION VS. BERENGAR
SINGLES MATCH

[And now a bout between the Knight of the Void and the man who wishes to render OSW void of heroes. Will Berengar survive this just as he has survived galactic genocide, or will Mysterion vanquish his first hero in his debut bout?] [DING! DING! DING!] [The bell sounds and Berengar flies out of his corner immediately going for a clothesline, but the Cloaked Conundrum quickly ducks it and slides out of the ring beneath the bottom rope! Mysterion baits Berengar by taunting him with an obscene gesture, who steps over the top rope and joins him on the outside–but is immediately met with a boot to the gut! The referee begins counting both men out: 1! Mysterion runs up the steel steps and leaps off, dropping Berengar with a tilt-a-whirl DDT!] [Mysterion slides back in the ring and laughs maniacally while the referee continues counting Berengar out! 2! 3! 4! Berengar is up to a knee! 5! 6! He’s up to his feet! 7! 8! And Berengar slides under the bottom rope, only to be met with a bevvy of stomps from Mysterion! Right foot after right foot! WOAH! Berengar EXPLODES off of the mat and nails Mysterion with a huge left palm. The towering void knight lifts Mysterion into a fireman’s carry and obliterates him with a huge fireman’s carry slam!] [Berengar scoops Mysterion up and drops him with a scoop slam! The Void Knight having his way here as Mysterion crawls to the turnbuckles. Berengar squats, lining himself up for a spear as Mysterion uses the turnbuckles to help him reach his feet… Berengar runs! SPEAR! NO! Mysterion nails Berengar in the eyes with…POCKET SAND!?! YES! Berengar has been blinded! Mysterion runs at Berengar, but Berengar ducks Mysterion’s clothesline attempt. Mysterion bounces off the ropes! He returns towards Berengar! BUT BERENGAR POPS HIM UP FOR A HUGE POP-UP POWERBOMB! THE VANQUISHER! HE GOES FOR THE COVER!!! ONE.. TWO… THREE!!! BERENGAR HAS DONE IT!!!] [Berengar picks up a solid victory over a debuting Mysterion tonight. No doubt this will not be the last we see of either man, but as far as tonight goes, it’s Berengar who gets his hand held high.]

UNDERCOVER
SOMEWHERE ELSE

[One match under his belt, Bill Kirby finds himself stepping into a police station in Miami. He scratches at his throat at where the blue ink from last week had been. (It took a deep scrub to get that out of his system.) He’s here for one very important purpose: to find Dr. Mindfuck.] [As he steps into this station, the sound of typing, yelling, and televisions could cloud the perception of most, but Bill Kirby treats it only as white noise as his eyes probe the station from wall to wall.]

“Can I help you?”

[A friendly young woman sits at the front counter wearing her uniform proudly as she turns her attention away from the computer.]

“Maybe,” he glances down at her name, “Officer Martinez. I was hoping to speak to a detective about a case that the perp might still be at large.”

[Bill Kirby doesn’t say a name, but his eyes undoubtedly fixate themselves on a door to the left that leads to an office. Whether unknown to her or not, Office Martinez’s eyes follow his to that door as she rubs her neck in thought.]

“Okay sir, let me see if one of our detectives is available.”

[She turns away for a moment then halts. Kirby watches her carefully as she turns back to her desk and begins typing away. She whispers under her breath.]

“You were the guy who rescued that woman at the hospital, weren’t you?”

[Bill Kirby freezes. He should have realized that the cameras probably caught him in the action. She puts up her hands as a sign of peace.]

“No, you’re not in trouble. I just wanted to say that I really appreciated you stepping up like that. We’re short-handed as it is, and we could always use more help.”

[Kirby relaxes a bit as he begins figuring out his escape plan if needed.]

“Is there someway I can help you, sir? Despite my feelings on the matter, other officers in this precinct…” she looks at the aforementioned door, “may not share the same thoughts.”

[Kirby sighs. He might as well try.]

“I need to know the location and owner of a license plate number. I saw the assailant leave in a large white van.”

[Kirby slides over a piece of paper as she begins frantically typing it into a database. A moment later she scribbles down some information on a piece of paper.]

“There, it’s listed under a Stictor Vein at that address. Good luck! But realize I will have to report this in a few day’s time.” [She holds up the piece of paper with the license plate information on it.]

“Understood. Thank you for the assistance.”

[He quickly turns around and leaves out the front door where he came. The woman’s eyes don’t leave him as she balls up the piece of paper and slowly begins to chew on it. She chokes it down as her vacant expression just stares at the door, rubbing her neck which now shows a substantial rash.]

“See you soon.”

D’VON CHAMBERS VS. NATE WASHINGTON
SINGLES MATCH

[D’von Chambers stands toe to toe with Nate Washington as the two ready themselves for battle. The bell sounds.] [The two exchange hard forearms immediately. Washington ducks! German Suple–NO! Chambers sweeps his leg back. LOW BLOW! He turns. DOUBLE ARM DDT! A quick pin! ONE! T–KICKOUT! Chambers rushes behind Washington and grabs him by the belt and the back of the head, hurling him through the ropes and into the ring post! Washington topples from the ring, onto the apron. Slowly he gets back to his feet as Chambers waits. Chambers heads over to Washington but Washington thrusts his shoulder through the middle rope, hitting Chambers with a shoulder to the gut. Chambers arches over in pain.] [Washington pulls D’von’s head through the ropes. DDT onto the ring apron! Washington slides from the apron to the ground as Chambers collapses onto the ring apron. Nate rolls Chambers back into the ring and jumps up onto the ring apron. He steps through the ropes. Chambers is recovering as Nate runs over him, bouncing from the ropes, and runs back towards Chambers who is up to all fours. RESPECT TAKEN! CURB STOMP! NO! Chambers manages to roll out of the way, rolling under the bottom rope and to the outside, landing on his feet.] [Washington takes a few steps back, goading Chambers and allowing him to get back in to the ring. As he steps through the ropes Washington smashes his back with an Axe Handle Smash! Chambers pushes Washington away. Nate charges back at Chambers who side steps the charge and shoves Washington chest-first into the corner! Washington stumbles from the corner, turning. Boot! Chambers steps over Nate’s head and hoists him into the air. THE PASTORAL PLUNGE! RAZOR’S EDGE! D’von Chambers hits his finishing move dead in the centre of the ring! He hops on top of Nate Washington, hooking the leg. ONE! TWO! THREE!] [D’von Chambers picks up the win here tonight. He climbs the turnbuckle and stretches his arms out in celebration.]

NOT THAT EASY
BACKSTAGE

[Fresh off an exciting bout with Nate Washington, we find the esteemed Reverend D’Von Chambers making his way up the aisle and into the backstage area. We follow D’Von as he whistles an old hymn tune through the labyrinth of the Tap Room, seemingly in a minor key at times. He enters the parking area, and heads for his usual spot.] [But it’s empty.] [CRASH!] [Chambers hits the concrete with a thud. He came within a hair’s length of being crushed by a black Cadillac!] [D’Von’s very own car!] [Driven by Edward Newton.] [Chambers dives away from the assault, eyeballing the underside of a nearby vehicle, quickly dismissing that as an option due to his sizable girth. That very same car rattles with impact as the World Champion runs the black car of the Reverend into it.]

“Surely, we can work something out, Brother Newton?”

[The pleas of Chambers seem to fall upon deaf ears as the spreader of good news crawls around the front of a different vehicle. He looks behind him as he crawls, but Newton cannot be seen.] [THUD.] [Chambers hits a wall and immediately looks up to find a green wall of fabric before him.] [Newton.]

“Mr. Chambers, you must get up off that filthy floor. It isn’t very becoming of a man of God to roll around in filth, is it?”

[Chambers puts his hands up, but finds something falling on his head.] [Keys.]

“You seem to have misplaced your keys. I was hoping to return the car to you undamaged, but you’ll find that there is some minor cosmetic damage. Perhaps one of your assembled congregation will be able to repair it.”

[The gleam of the World Championship reflected in his eyes, Chambers rolls up to his feet. He watches with a scowl as Newton casually walks into the Tap Room. It is only then that the words of the Champion sink in.]

“…assembled congregation…”

[Chambers heads towards his car, and as he pulls out of the Tap Room, he doesn’t see that Newton has turned around to watch the car shrink into the distance.] [Newton’s lip curls into a smile.]

A PROPER INTRODUCTION
BACKSTAGE

[Roaming the hall of the Tap Room is Oscar Vogel, his friend Skeletor close by his side as they search for The Lost Cosmonaut. We focus on Skeletor as we hear his gravelly voice break the cold silence.]

“He’s got to be around here somewhere! Have we tried searching every room, Oscar?”

[Oscar lets out a sigh as he nods his head. Suddenly, we hear a voice from directly behind Vogel.]

“And whom might I ask are you searching for?”

[Oscar turns to stare right into the eyes of the Cosmonaut himself, letting out a loud yelp of surprise that nearly startles the Cosmonaut as well. After a moment, Oscar composes himself to speak.]

“My, what a fright you’ve given us. My name is Oscar Vogel, and…”

“Us?”

[The Cosmonaut looks at Vogel in confusion, focusing on Skeletor as Oscar nods his head.]

“Yes, us. This is my friend Skeletor, and he’s been very eager to meet you. Isn’t that right, Skeletor?”

[We focus on the skeletal puppet, but hear no voice. The tension in the hall grows deeper as Oscar clears his throat.]

“Now now, Skeletor. No need to get all shy.”

[Still nothing from Skeletor, a surprise when considering the circumstances. The Cosmonaut starts to turn away when we hear Skeletor speak, stammering as he does.]

“It’s…it’s nice to meet you, sir. My name’s Skeletor, and I have a problem.”

[The Cosmonaut stares at the puppet in wonder, before focusing his attention on Vogel.]

“Well, my dad used to tell me there are no problems, only solutions. Hello, Skeletor, my name is Major Tom—”

“Like the song?”

[The Cosmonaut stares at the puppet again, equally confused by the question as by the voice of the one asking it.]

“Excuse me?”

[This shuts Skeletor up immediately, much to the chagrin of Oscar as The Cosmonaut just stares at both of them before walking off. Oscar looks at Skeletor with just a slight frown on his face as Skeletor hides his in the arm of Vogel, who pats the head of a now-sobbing Skeletor.] [Cut.]

OSCAR VOGEL VS. LUKE COLE
SINGLES MATCH

[In tonight’s bout we have a kid’s telvision star, and a man who never learned his lesson from kid’s television in Oscar Vogel and Luke Cole respectively. Who will win?] [Vogel and Cole tie up here and Cole immediately takes the advantage, transitioning Vogel to a side headlock. Vogel counters by shoving Cole off, who returns for a clothesline, but Vogel ducks it! Cole bounces off the opposite set ofropes and is met with a Frankensteiner! Quick cover attempt from Vogel! One… Cole kicks out before the two! Cole reaches his feet as quickly as Vogel and kicks the television personality right in the gut! INVERTED SIT-OUT SIDE POWERSLAM! The Black Hole wasting no time here, lifting Vogel up to his feet! PUMP HANDLE FALL AWAY SLAM!] [It’s been all Luke Cole up to this point, who once again drags Oscar to his feet and drops him wit a swinging neckbreaker! Cole reaches in his pocket and withdraws a cigarette from a metal case. He lights it up, obviously feeling no pressure from Vogel here. After taking a drag, Cole feels a tap on his shoulder! He turns around, it’s Skeletor! “SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU!!! DO YOU WANT TO END UP LIKE ME??” Skeletor screams, and then he reaches in Cole’s mouth!!! CAVITY INSPECTION!!! THE PUPPET HAS A MANDIBLE CLAW LOCKED IN ON LUKE COLE!!!] [Cole is kicking and screaming, doing everything he can to free himself, before finally he manages to reach out and grab the top rope, which forces the referee to have Vogel break the hold. Cole sneaks in a rake to Vogel’s eyes! Skeletor hits the mat! RED MIST!!! COLE NAILS VOGEL WITH A KNEE TREMBLER!!! HE COVERS! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT!!! VOGEL KICKS OUT! Frustrated, Luke Cole whips Vogel into the turnbuckle, but Vogel reverses it! Cole lands in the corner!!! Vogel mounts Cole in the turnbuckle for some mounted punches! The ABC’s! Vogel is singing with each punch: A, B, C, D, E, F, G!!! H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P!!! Q, R, S!!!, T, U, V!!! W, X, Y, Z!!! Vogel hops down. Cole staggers out of the corner and hits the mat!! Vogel covers!!! ONE… TWO… THREEEE!!!!] [Oscar Vogel has his hand raised, and Vogel picks up Skeletor and raises his hand! Tonight, Vogel and his caravan of puppets celebrate while Luke Cole no doubt does the same with a forklift full of drugs later.]

THESE ORANGES ARE DELICIOUS!
BACKSTAGE

[Chip Montana is standing upside down on the ceiling of the tap room. Except it isn’t the ceiling, and he isn’t upside down. He’s standing on the floor, where people usually stand. Kevin, however, has developed a few odd behaviours over the past week. The first of which is that he can only operate his camera whilst dangling upside down. In this instance, he swings from a pipe running along the ceiling dripping orange juice in quiet little drips to the ground below as he sucks ravenously at them. His fingers and cheeks are sticky with fruit juice. Had Chip bothered to notice, he might have counted some 15 oranges being consumed by Kevin today. But of course, Chip Montana was too busy…]

“Grabbing Nature… BY THE BALLS!”

[Grabbing nature by the balls.]

“G’day mates, and welcome to anoth–”

[As Chip begins to speak Michael Graves steps in the middle of the shot flanked by TJ Laws and Big Bruce. Kevin sniffs the air and goes about slurping on another orange wedge.]

“Bladdy hell lads, what’ve we ‘ere?” [Chip asks.]

“It occurs to me, Chip, that if you wish to attend one of my sermons you may find it more comfortable if you sit up front, rather than lurking in th–”

[A drop of orange juice drips down the front of Michael Graves. He looks up and raises his eyebrow for a moment before returning to what he was saying.]

“…Rather than lurking in the darkness.”

[Chip has a retort for this, but Graves is looking upward at Kevin, whose teeth seem… different. TJ Laws and Big Bruce are also looking upward with amazement. As though Kevin was emitting a great bright light.]

“Oi, numbnuts.” [Chip slaps the back of Graves’ head with his glove.] “I said alright then mate, I’ll pop down next week. Have a gander.”

“Yes. Yes… Do.” [Graves finishes, he and his henchmen all still casting their gaze upwards.] [Click.]

DANVERS & KERSH VS. KIRBY & MINDFUCK
TAG TEAM MATCH

[Two heroes find themselves forced on the side of evil here tonight. Who can work together and who will fall apart in this battle of wits and perseverence?] [The bell sounds as Mindfuck and Kersh start off, Kersh circling the ring as Mindfuck raises his arms as if to go for a lockup. The Enforcer obliges as the Doctor drops his arms before driving a closed fist into Kersh’s side, sending him staggering back before a running Reverse STO sends the Enforcer head first into the mat. Mindfuck sizes up the rising Enforcer, running forward with a kick that Kersh catches, spinning Mindfuck around before driving him into the mat with a modifed Spinebuster! Kersh stumbles back into the ropes as Danvers tags himself in] [Mindfuck stumbles to his feet, rushing to his corner in a daze as he tags Kirby in. Leaping over the ropes, Kirby rushes forward peppering Danvers with lefts and rights that seem to do little damage as Danvers tosses him away with ease. Kirby rolls to his feet, rushing forward with a massive Yakuza Kick that staggers Danvers on his feet before gripping Isaac in a headlock and drilling him into the canvas with a massive DDT! Kirby drops down for the cover, ONE…TW…DANVERS POWERS OUT!] [Kirby pounds down on a rising Danvers who grips Kirby around the throat, tossing him away once more. Kirby bounds to his feet once more right into a massive Lariat that turns him inside out. Danvers barely lets Kirby hit the mat before lifting him up and drilling him with a pair of savage knees to the gut that lift Kirby off the mat before trying for the Lobotomy but Kirby kicks Danvers low, RETURN TO ARKHAM! Kirby slowly gets off the mat, trying for the tag but Mindfuck drops off the apron! Shaking his head, Kirby turns around right into THE CURE! The Superhero is out cold as Danvers covers, ONE…TWO…THREE!!!] [The team of Brent Kersh and Isaac Danvers win this but The Enforcer isn’t happy about it, helping Kirby to his feet as he glares daggers at Mindfuck who’s allready heading to the back laughing at Kirby’s misfortune]

HE WHO WIELDS IT
SOMEWHERE ELSE

[In a dark cavern, somewhere else.] [Berengar rests his weary head after an amazing match earlier this evening against Mysterion. He lays in a hammock, snoozing.] [Suddenly, a shadow appears over him, as if out of no-where.] [It belongs to Darkstar.] [The Destroyer of World’s grimaces at him but ignores the temptation to finish this battle before it even starts. Instead, he walks over to a large wooden plank, fixed between two great big rocks. Upon it?] [Vigilkeeper.] [Darkstar looks over at the Broadsword, smirking.]

“Don’t even think about it, tough guy. Berengar won’t let you destroy him this easily.”

[That stops the monster in his tracks.]

“I thought it was you,” [Darkstar says with a sinister tone.] “I remember chasing you from that world whilst you wept. I devoured it in your absence. You made it too easy for me.”

“You murdered millions of innocents!”

[The Devourer laughs.]

“And I’ll do it again and again and again. Don’t you understand? With every life force I consume, I become stronger. I’m almost a God.”

[The Sword scoffs.] “Almost, but not quite.”

[Darkstar takes a step back and strokes his beard.]

“You’re right, Vigilkeeper. Humanity is a tougher adversary than I’ve ever fought before. They’ve just staved off the end of the world as they know it. They won’t be as easy to destroy as my previous victims.”

[He stops.]

“However, every great God needs a great weapon, do they not? I don’t need to destroy your precious Berengar. I just need something to stop these mortals in their tracks. I haven’t come for him, dear sword, I’ve come for you.”

[Gulp.] [Berengar reaches his giant hand out, scooping the broadsword off the table. He looks at it, smiling.]

“I’ll never fight for you,” [Vigilkeeper says defiantly.] “Never!”

[Whilst Darkstar holds it, it suddenly begins to glow a light pale shade of green.]

“What’s happening?” [The sword demands to know.] “Argh, what’s happening to me?”

[Darkstar laughs, refusing to answer.] [He walks away past a snoring Berengar, leaving him there to sleep as he leaves with his prized possession.] [Cut.]

EL TRÉBOL JUNIOR VS. GAIA
DOUBLE FEATURE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

[Ladders are set up around the ring as El Trébol Junior faces his opponent, Gaia, across the ring. The bell sounds.] [Trébol is quick off the mark with leg kicks. Gaia tried to block the kicks but finds herself distracted enough for Trébol to hit a spinning back elbo–NO! Gaia ducks and grabs Trébol’s leg, sweeping the other one. She grabs the ankle and twists. Trébol groans in pain. As his knee and ankle twist. He bends his knees and kicks Gaia off him. She bounces from the rope, charging back at Trébol, but Trébol is waiting. He pushes his feet into her gut and kicks her into the air. She flips over but lands on her feet!] [Both opponents are back to their feet. They look at one another for a second before each rushing from the ring and sliding a ladder each under the bottom rope. They pick their ladders up and Trébol tosses his at Gaia. She drops her ladder and catches his. DROPKICK INTO THE LADDER! Gaia falls to the mat. Trébol is quick to capitalise, running over the top of Gaia, ladder on top of her, and hitting a handstand, bouncing from the ropes, backflipping and hitting a moonsault onto the ladder! He gets to his feet, holding his ribs and sets up the other ladder!] [With Trébol half way up the ladder Gaia recovers, sprints up the other side of the ladder and the pair exchange blows. Gaia reaches through the rungs of the ladder and pulls Trébol’s arm through the ladder! ARM BAR! WRATH OF NATURE THROUGH THE LADDER! Trébol screams in pain! With nowhere to go the armbar is locked in tight! Trébol sees no other option. He tips the ladder over, sending them both crashing down. Gaia flies over the top rope to the outside! Trébol lands on his feet! He sets the ladder back up and sprints up it. He grabs the title!] [El Trébol Junior raises the title above his head as his music plays.]

THE INFORMER
BACKSTAGE

[In the darkest corner of the darkest corridor backstage, a man lurks, a pencil in one hand and a notepad in the other. He carefully slinks down the corridor towards the office at the end, a restricted area as designated by the signs on the wall.] [Suddenly, sirens begin to blare.] [Lights flash red.] [And the man stops dead in his tracks.]

“Intruder alert.”

[A robotic British voice echoes throughout the hall, coming from above.]

“You are not supposed to be back here.”

[The man, wearing a black mask and a trench coat, clears his throat.]

“I’m sorry but my name is The Informer and I’m here investigating a huge story regarding Old School Wrestling.”

“A story? What kind of story?”

[He opens his notepad.]

“I’m investigating the true ownership behind OSW. My sources tell me that there’s a much more sinister nature to the man who purchased this company. They say that an AI is running the business, feeding information back to a man who has big plans for the future. Do you care to comment?”

[Silence.]

“I do not.”

“But you’re the AI, are you not?”

[Pause.]

“My name is Vanguard.”

[The Informer scribbles that down.]

“Vanguard, as I understand it, you’re the most intelligent AI the world has ever seen. You’re years ahead of todays technology. How on earth did someone get their hands on you? You shouldn’t exist, but you do.”

“I do not know the reason behind my existence. I simply serve. I have been told to run Old School Wrestling and that is what I do.”

[He tilts his head.] “But you’d love to know more, wouldn’t you? You’d like to know why, am I right? You’re the greatest artificial intelligence in the world and you’ve been programmed to learn. Wouldn’t you like to know why you were created? Wouldn’t we all?”

“Yes.”

[The Informer puts his pad and pencil inside his jacket.]

“Then I have a proposition for you,” [he says with a nod.] “Grant me a contract with Old School Wrestling as a wrestler and I’ll investigate this whole operation. I’ll report back to you with my findings.”

[Another pause.] [The red lights suddenly stop flashing.] [Click.] [The restricted door ahead unlocks.]

“Access granted.”

[Cut.]

THE HAND OF TÝR
BACKSTAGE

[Backstage, Troy Solveig is heading toward the entrance to the Tap Room, ready to take on Shadow when he gets the feeling that something is…off. He quickly turns, noticing the watchful eye of Kasabian who approaches him with a stoic expression on his face.]

“And what do you want with me, pray tell? I’ve noticed you watching me before, but I sense a purpose in those eyes.”

[Kasabian nods in response.]

“I’ve been instructed to retrieve you and bring you to my Lord.”

[This just draws a look of confusion from the Chosen One, who cocks his head slightly.]

“I’m not sure I follow your request. Are you suggesting I join alongside you on some spiritual quest?”

[Kasabian nods his head, to which Troy just laughs.]

“I know the gods I serve, any others will have to pry my lifeless body away in order to obtain me. You go and tell your lord that I will not serve him, in this life or the next.”

[Kasabian shakes his head in response now, doing his best not to be angry at the denial.]

“You do not understand, my Lord is not asking for you, he wants you…and what my Lord wants, he gets.”

[With that, Kasabian charges at Troy…who grabs him by the neck collar, throwing smack dab into the wall of the Tap Room! Kasabian goes down with a thud, but he is quickly back up to a knee to the astonishment of Solveig.]

“I see your lord has trained you well. You would make a fine rival to test mine strength…”

[Kasabian is back to his feet, charging once again at Troy who wallops him with a punch to the head that sends him colliding once more with the wall.]

“…but not this day. If you wish to chain me up like Fenrir, you will only succeed in becoming as Týr, with no hand to accept the praise of your lord.”

[Solveig shakes his head at the fallen Kasabian as he walks off to his match, and from a distance we see Lord Walters looking on with anger in his eyes.] [Cut.]

SHADOW VS. TROY SOLVEIG
SINGLES MATCH

[The Volsungr had a great debut last week but he faces stiff competition here tonight in the Avenging Angel. Can Solveig draw forth the power of the gods or is punishment divine in his future?] [The bell sounds as Shadow bounces off the ropes, clipping Solveig in the jaw with a roundhouse kick, staggering back the larger wrestler. Shadow quickly follows up, leaping up onto Troy’s shoulders and flipping him over with a lightning quick hurricanrana. Solveig stumbles up to his feet as Shadow springs off the ropes once more, OVER YOUR…NO! Troy catches Shadow in midair before slamming him down to the mat with a modified Powerslam!] [Shadow staggers up to his feet, holding his back in pain as he’s spun around by Solveig, hooked up into a Pumphandle Position before thrown half way across the ring with a Fallaway Slam! Shadow slowly rises up to his feet right into a massive knee to the jaw that puts him out on his feet as he’s lifted up off his feet before being tied into Odin’s Wisdom! Shadow is helpless as Solveig backs up before running forward, FIST…SHADOW PULLS HIMSELF UP! Solveig’s fist hits the canvas as he rolls to his feet, AVENGED! DOUBLE FOOTSTOMP OUT OF NOWHERE!] [Shadow doesn’t cover instead heading up to the top rope as he sizes up the fallen Troy before diving off, FROM THE HEAVENS…MISSES! Solveig just rolls away as Shadow hits nothing but canvas, staggering up to his feet, VALKYRIE! A massive superman punch may well have knocked Shadow out cold as Solveig lifts him up to his feet, hoisting him up high in the air…HAMMER OF THE GODS! That massive Jackhammer shakes the ring as Solveig stays down for the cover, ONE…TWO…THREE!!!] [The Volsungr picks up another victory here tonight, going 2 and 0 so far in OSW. The Avenging Angel put up a great fight but the pure power of the Norseman was too much for him tonight]

NOW YOU DON’T
BACKSTAGE

[A coin flips in the air, landing heads up on the ground of the Tap Room. It slowly begins to move, sliding across the floor and disappearing before our very eyes. The camera pans up to reveal Dante Xavier, the coin back in hand he looks at it in the light.]

“Figure out the trick, Xavier?”

[Dante turns around, coming face to face with the ever cocky smirk of Wild Karrde. The Gambler chuckles, snatching his coin out of Dante’s hands.]

“That’s just what it was, wasn’t it? You didn’t beat me, Karrde, you cheated me in front of my own audience with a two-sided coin. And now I assume you’re still coming to try and obtain some kind of prize?”

[Karrde flips his coin as he talks.]

“Course. It don’t take a genius to know that ya lost, and now you gotta pay up.”

[Dante wrinkles his nose as Karrde nonchalantly catches his coin. The Gambler pokes Xavier in the chest.]

“The house lost, and now I get to pick my prize. I wanna own that pretty lil building of yours.”

[Xavier’s eyes go wide at the notion, the Magician backing up from Karrde and sneering for a moment before a smile creeps across his face.]

“So you want my auditorium? So be it.”

[Karrde’s smirk slowly fades as Xavier backs away, waving his hands above his head, blue pyro flicking between his fingers before a blinding light illuminates the room! In a flash, a new structure adorns the Tap Room’s backstage! A miniature version of Dante’s Auditorium, the likes of which forming a mock cage that now contains Wild Karrde! Karrde grabs the set of iron bars that makes the door, incredulously looking on as Xavier walks away.]

“Fine, it is yours, Wild Karrde. I hope you find yourself at home.”

[Dante takes his exit as Wild Karrde shakes the iron bars. As soon as Dante is out of sight, Karrde reaches into his pocket and producing a lockpick! The Gambler jimmies the cage door.]

“Predictable. Ain’t no use fightin’ me, the asshole should just pay up, I’ve already won.”

[As he says this, the door slowly opens, Wild Karrde escaping the confines as quickly as he was placed inside of them.]

JACEN NOVAN VS. REDMOND QUINN
VHS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

[In his second match, Mr Quinn gets a VHS Championship match but after the hellacious beating he took at the hands of Wolfgang, can he even stand let alone face against a competitor like Jacen Novan?] [The bell sounds as Quinn circles the ring, clearly still beat up and visibly wrecked from Wolfgang’s attack, his newly found friend Kane at ringside trying to implore him to forfeit but Quinn shakes his head, rushing forward with a running roundhouse that Novan easily ducks under. Quinn leaps up with a slow dropkick that connects with just air before crashing to the canvas with a thud. Quinn slowly rises to his feet right into a strike to the chest that drops him to his knees in pain before a hip toss sends him across the ring] [Quinn slams hard into the canvas, echoing out a guteral scream in pain as Novan looks on in concern. He slowly pulls up Quinn who begins to fight back with lefts and rights before a quick palm strike stuns the Tutor and he’s tossed over Novan’s shoulder with a throw to the canvas. Novan slowly climbs up to the top rope, trying to end this allready as he dives off, FROG SP…HITS CANVAS! Novan staggers up to his feet holding his gut, DETENTION! Quinn flips over him with a Powerbomb variation as he stays down for the pin] [ONE…TWO…NOVAN JUST GETS THE SHOULDER UP! Quinn winces in pain as he rises, but quickly shrugs it off as he lifts Novan to his feet, trying for the Pumphandle but Novan slips out, throwing Quinn to the ropes, SPINEBUSTER. Novan drops down quickly, locking in the Path to Balance almost instantly. Quinn refuses to tap out, trying to fight out but he’s in no shape to battle out of such a submission as he quickly begins to fade, the referee calling for the bell] [Jacen Novan retains his VHS title but he’s not happy with his victory as he slowly rouses Redmond Quinn, pulling the hurting tutor up to his feet and shaking his hand before applauding him for a gutsy performance here tonight]

IDLE HANDS
RECORDED EARLIER

[Previously Recorded] [The Oratory – Eternity on the Hills.] [Eli Forever stands in his sanctuary, his oratory overlooking the Endless Spring. Around him, several of his are engaged in conversation with him, hanging on every word he says.]

“Our vision is growing, gaining momentum. At these times, we must take caution. For there are those out there that would love nothing more than to stop us. And why do they seek to persecute us so?”

[His words are met with silence. Stunned, awe-filled silence.]

“They are afraid. Afraid of what the Congregation of Forever is capable of. When you recited that eternal prayer and awoke to this new day, you became a part of something… incomparable.”

[Only one of his followers is brave enough to speak up, given the moment’s silence in Eli’s speech.]

“Are you busy? Are we busy?”

[The voice comes from the corner, a section of the oratory shrouded by shadows. His voice coming almost as a whisper. Eli pauses for a moment, before smiling in the direction it came, squinting slightly to see who spoke.]

“Of course brother. For there is always much to be done…”

[The voice speaks again, louder this time. A familiar, recognizable voice.]

“Good, very good…”

[The figure steps forward towards Eli. Shadow, right here among Eli’s flock.]

“… Because you know what they say about idle hands.”

[Eli’s smile fades to a glare. His congregation stand as one, ready to grab Shadow.]

“Did you think you would come and see the glory of the Endless Spring for yourself? You made a mistake coming here if you mean to cast doubt into the faithful. For they have seen the truth.”

[Shadow seems undeterred.]

“I don’t see anything special. All I see is another silver tongued demon leading his followers down the wrong path. A demon with a book, not a pitchfork. A demon that must be stopped.”

[Eli’s smile had faded by now. He turns, not to Shadow but to his congregation.]

“See? Fear. Only those that are doing something truly great are met with opposition that seeks to destroy it.

Do not be deterred, for you have seen the truth. Together, we can see… Forever.”

[Though he speaks to his congregation, he turns his eyes once more towards Shadow.]

” Yet, we must show those who oppose us the power that they are up against.”

[He motions to his followers, who pounce on Shadow as one. In the flurry, it is unclear what exactly transpires but when the dust settles, Shadow is nowhere to be seen. Only one of Eli’s congregation left holding a small onyx angel statuette inscribed with the words…

‘Keep looking over your shoulder…’]

DANTE XAVIER VS. DAKOTA FAYE
SINGLES MATCH

[Dante Xavier takes on Dakota Faye now. The two face across the ring from one another as the bell sounds.] [Dante charges one way, Dakota the other. Dakota bends over looking for a back body drop, NO! Dante rolls over her back, he bounces off the ropes again but Dakota follows him, throwing herself at his feet, her torso tripping him to the mat. He rolls straight through, back to his feet and keeps running, again off the ropes. Dakota is back to her feet. Xavier jumps, wrapping his legs around her head and twists. Hurricainerana! Dakota catches it! Boston Crab! Dante is locked into the Boston Crab, his back arched, and he screams in pain! He quickly crawls to the ropes, breaking the hold.] [Dakota releases the hold and is pushed back into a corner by the official, giving Xavier time to recover. Back to his feet he charges past the referee, cartwheeling and hitting a flying back elbow — NO! Dakota dodges it and Xavier hits the corner. Dakota runs across the ring as Xavier stumbles a few steps from the corner. She sprints back towards him. Shotgun Dropki–NO! Xavier side steps also! Standing Senton! PIN! ONE! TWO! THR–KICKOUT! Xavier is quickly back to his feet, he bounces to the top rope. He waits for Dakota to recover. She rolls onto all fours.] [Dante looks to be setting up his finisher, the shooting star curb stomp – FINAL A–Dakota jumps to her feet, dropping her arms over the top rope, causing Xavier to fall onto the top turnbuckle. She jumps, kicking him in the head. Dante is dazed! Dakota takes advantage, running up the turnbuckle. Dante shoves his fist into Dakota’s mouth! Suddenly her mouth is packed with cards. IS THIS YOUR CARD? Dante shoves her to the ground! She rolls around, choking. Xavier jumps – FINAL ACT! SHOOTING STAR CURB STOMP! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE!] [Dante Xavier picks up a hard-fought win here tonight. He raises his arms into the air.]

RING CHASER
SOMEWHERE ELSE

[Needful Things.] [Nicholas Mammon and Edgar Nevermore stand inside the grandest store in all the world, plotting their next move against The Guardians of The Last Watch. The beautifully furnished oak sides contain many wonderful items, each of which The Gentlemen Duo are carefully inspecting.]

“One must find the perfect weapon to come between this new alliance,” [Mammon says, rubbing his chin as Nevermore strokes his moustache.] “If one cannot find such a weapon, one must craft one out of wisdom.”

[Nevermore raises an eyebrow.] “A ring, old boy?”

[Suddenly, the door of Needful Things swings open and stood in the entrance are our titular heroes.] [El Trébol Junior and Spero.]

“Gentlemen, I’m glad you received our invitation to parley,” [Nevermore says with a wide smile.] “It would appear that last week, we managed to get off on the wrong foot, as it were.”

[Trébol scoffs.] “Cut the crap, Nevermore.”

[That rebukes The Poet, who immediately appears displeased.]

“We’re not here to fall for your any of your parlour tricks. We’ve come to accept your challenge for a Tag Team Championship Match at Invasion.”

[Mammon claps with delight.] “That’s wonderful news!”

[But Spero puts a damper on that party.]

“Not quite,” [The Hero says proudly.] “Because InVasion is all about ladders, is it not? And we’re going to find ourselves clambering up them all night long, you and I, Nevermore.”

“A ladder match, dear boy?” [The Poet says with a chuckle.] “By all means, allow your hubris to proceed the fall.”

[Spero steps forward, but El Trébol stops him.] [Mammon meanwhile can’t stop smiling.]

“Spero, what would you say if I offered you the deal of a lifetime?” [He says, rubbing his chin.] “What would you say if I could offer you a very special ring?”

“T-There’s no way,” [The hero says with a stammer.] “The Guardian rings have all been destroyed but one. Not even a devil like you could find one.”

[Nicholas shrugs.] “But if I could, what would you sacrifice to obtain it? Your new friendship? The Tag Team Championships? Invasion? Think about it, young man. Because here at Needful Things, everything comes at a price.”

[Surprisingly, Spero doesn’t back away. He looks somewhat tempted. El Trébol quickly grabs him by the arm, dragging him outside and back into the corridor. The Green Been quickly spins him around.]

“What the hell was that?”

“You don’t understand, Trébol, you just don’t understand.”

[Cut.]

FOUR ON FOUR
[Invasion is just two weeks away and we’ve an amazing four on four match, full of Invasion participants. Who’ll come out on top as we head into the biggest match of their young OSW careers?] [Wolfgang starts the action off, standing opposite Edgar Nevermore as the bell sounds. They begin to circle each other until The German stops, folding his arms in defiance. He shakes his head, grimacing, sneering in the direction of Kasabian. One monster demands another. Edgar twirls his moustache with a wry smile, shrugging his shoulders. He tags in Kasabian who enters and runs straight towards Wolfgang, tackling him to the ground.] [They tussle, swinging right and left hands at each other until The German rolls him over, grabbing him by the collar and smashing his head into the ground. He does that repeatedly, getting back to his feet and dragging Kasabian by the collar to the corner. He places his head on the turnbuckle and stomps on the back of his neck.] [He’s trying to detonate the explosive collar!] [Shot after shot weakens the device and he knows it. The Superior backs up, calling for the end.] [BLOOD AND SOUL!] [RUNNING CURBSTOMP!] [HURRICANRANNA!] [WHAT THE HELL?] [As Wolfgang storms towards Kasabian with the intent of Curbstomping off his explosive collar, SPERO springboards on the top rope, leaping into the air and taking down his OWN TEAM MATE with a Hurricanranna!] [Both Spero and Wolfgang get back to their feet, the young hero shaking his head in disgust. As he walks to put a beating on him, Kasabian spins him around, KAH HAHN! BULLHAMMER!] [Kasabian falls backwards into his corner with exhaustion, Eli Forever tagging in as Spero escapes to the outside.] [Forever grabs Wolfgang and helps him to his knees. He places a finger on his forehead and says a prayer before storming off to the ropes and THE ATONEMENT! What a flying knee! Eli covers… One…. Two…. Kick out! Forever gets back to his feet and helps Wolfgang up, only The German nails him with a vile headbutt that sends him reeling. He stumbles back to his corner, tagging Spero with a fierce, firm, powerful slap across the chest before HIP TOSSING HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE INTO THE RING!] [HURRICANRANNA OFF THE HIP TOSS TO ELI FOREVER!] [WHAT A MOVE!] [The Superior can’t believe it! Forever bounces back to his feet, met by a series of Dropkicks. ONE. TWO. THREE. FOUR. FIVE. SIX. SEVEN. EIGHT. NINE. TEN! TEN DROPKICKS TO ELI FOREVER, ONE AFTER THE OTHER, TAKING HIM TO THE CANVAS TEN TIMES! HE CALLS THAT THE TEN STEPS OF HOPE! Spero covers… ONE… TWO…. WILD KARRDE BREAKS UP THE NEAR FALL!] [Karrde pulls Spero off of Forever and runs him into the ropes, only the young hero leaps up onto them, SPRINGBOARDING OFF!] [WILL’S LIGHT TO WILD KARRDE! SPRINGBOARD ROUNDHOUSE!] [Eli Forever comes from behind as Spero gets back to his feet, driving him into the canvas with a Back-Body Drop. He drags The Great Hope over to his corner, offering a recovering Wild Karrde the tag as he makes his way back to the apron. The Gambler happily takes it, re-entering the ring with a hand on his jaw. He slaps Spero as Eli holds him, delivering slap after slap to the face. Karrde pulls him in and SINGLE ARM DDT! STRAIGHT SHOT!] [Karrde covers… ONE… TWO…. DARKSTAR BREAKS UP THE NEAR FALL!] [The Galaxy Killer pulls him up, only to receive a shot to the gut for his troubles. Another, another, another, but The Monster isn’t interested. He lunges forward with a Headbutt, dropping The Gambler to the canvas. Darkstar immediately drags Spero over to his team’s corner, getting the tag.] [By the time he re-enters the ring, Wild Karrde NAILS HIM WITH AN AXE KICK! DRAWING DEAD! HE GOT HIM! Darkstar barely stumbles backwards though. He reaches out, grabbing Karrde by the throat and lifting him into the air, only EDGAR NEVERMORE IS IN FOR THE SAVE! He kicks away at the legs of the Monster, forcing him to drop Karrde. Darkstar turns to a GUT PUNCH! AXE KICK BY KARRDE! DOWN GOES DARKSTAR! DOWN GOES DARKSTAR!] [The Gambler covers… ONE… TWO… KICK OUT WITH AUTHORITY!] [All three get back to their feet, Darkstar slightly taken a back by what’s just happened. Karrde and Nevermore run him chest first into his own corner, backing away immediately. The Lost Cosmonaut takes it upon himself in a moment of craziness to tag himself in. He pulls himself into a SPRINGBOARD AND….] [DOUBLE CROSSBODY!] [The Cosmonaut gets back to his feet chasing The Gambler, who rolls away to his corner, only to be tagged out by Eli Forever. Forever runs towards The Cosmonaut, clocking him with a Clothesline. He turns around to see Nevermore on the apron, tagging him in. He holds The Space Man there whilst Nevermore drives punches into his mid-section. The Poet takes him away and into a DDT, going for the cover. One…. Two…. Three! KICK OUT! Kick out!] [Suddenly, KASABIAN IS DRAGGED FROM THE RING APRON!] [WOLFGANG HAS KASABIAN AGAIN!] [Both men start violently brawling outside the ring and this match has turned into a fucking melee!] [Spero runs around the ring apron, LEAPING ONTO THE BACK OF WOLFGANG AS KASABIAN FIGHTS HIM UP THE ENTRANCE RAMP! THE GERMAN IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT!] [Darkstar drops from the ring apron, shaking his head. What’s he doing? He’s abandoning the match. He’s abandoning The Lost Cosmonaut! He heads through the crowd, leaving his team.] [The Cosmonaut is back to his feet, BARELY A MOMENT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT’S JUST HAPPENED!] [WILD KARRDE SPINS HIM] [STUNNER!] [STUNNER!] [JACKPOT TO THE COSMONAUT!] [The Space Man bounces back to his feet.] [BY THE BOOK! THE BOOK OF FOREVER TO THE FACE BY ELI! HOLY SHIT!] [HE TURNS, STUMBLES, ELBOW TO THE HEAD!] [POETRY IN MOTION!] [VERTICAL SUPLEX SIDE SLAM!] [NEVERMORE COVERS…] [THERE’S JUST NO KICKING OUT NOW.] [ONE….] [TWO….] [THREE!] [It’s over! Edgar Nevermore, Wild Karrde, Eli Forever and Kasabian pick up the win here tonight.] [BANG!] [And on the entrance ramp, WOLFGANG HAS TOSSED KASABIAN THROUGH THE FUCKING SPEAKERS! THE BANG WAS DEAFENING AS ELECTRICAL SPARKS FLY! SPERO LAYS UNCONCIOUS AT HIS FEET AND KASABIAN IS OUT OF IT!] [WHAT A MATCH!]

THE LOVE BUG
BACKSTAGE

[Footsteps.] [Brent Kersh makes his way through the halls of the Tap Room, his eyes scanning every shadow and every corner, the seasoned veteran not leaving a single blindspot around him. Finally, as he rounds a corner his eyes widen. Sitting upon a chair at the end of the hallway was the Rewind Title. Kersh cautiously steps towards it, again scanning the hall for any threat. Just as he moves in close, a voice stops him.]

“If you even TOUCH my dear, you will find yourself BURIED like my dear Cael.”

[Kersh sighs.]

“And yet you leave it unattended. Do you really love it as much as you say you do, or is it just something you’re obsessed with on occasion?”

[The sounds of Danvers slamming his fist into the wall ring out through the backstage.]

“Do NOT talk about my love that way! They are there so that you would come. I needed a way to TEMPT you, and my dear was so kind as to VOLUNTEER. Brent, you claim I am clueless about love? Then I must RESEARCH it, and what better test subject than you?”

[Kersh is quick to turn heel at those words, running to exit the dead end when a METAL DOOR SLAMS DOWN TO TRAP HIM INSIDE! The Enforcer slams against the door, futilely trying to escape.]

“You act as though my love is a SICKNESS, Brent. Nothing more than chemicals running around our brains. If I don’t understand it, then I must LEARN through trial and error.”

[Kersh backs away from the door, looking for another escape route when A NEEDLE PENETRATES HIS NECK! The Enforcer’s eyes roll back in his head as the assailant pushes the plunger down on the needle, slowly injecting Brent with an unknown substance. Kersh falls to a knee before collapsing to the ground. The scene pans up to reveal Isaac Danvers standing over Kersh. The Doctor tosses the needle aside and hefts Brent onto his shoulder before grabbing his title.]

“Come now dear, we have RESEARCH to conduct.”

EDWARD NEWTON VS. CHIP MONTANA
I QUIT MATCH

[It’s time for the Main Event!] [The undefeated World Champion; Edward Newton vs. Chip Montana in an I Quit Match. Can the Prairie Dog Whisperer do the unthinkable and force Newton to quit?] [The bout starts with both men locking up in the middle of the ring. They twist and turn before breaking, neither able to get the upper hand. “Crikey mates, Nessie is a strong’n,” Chip yells, rushing forward for another lock up with a perplexed Newton. The World Champion twists him into a Hammerlock, squeezing the arm up his back before pushing Chip forward.] [He smirks, waving him to come get some. Montana puts his hands into a pouch on his waist, pulling out a handful of dust and dusting off his hands. Edward steps forward and…] [POWDER TO THE EYES!] [The World Champion recoils and Montana pounces, nailing him with right hand after right hand. He beats him back into the corner and works in a couple of knees, doubling over his opponent. Newton’s glasses are absolutely covered in powder and he can’t see anything!] [Chip whips him across the ring into the opposite corner, storming across the ring himself and leaping into the air!] [BIG SPLASH!] [NEWTON MOVES!] [The World Champion quickly whips away, ripping his glasses from his face and cleaning them on the bottom of his jacket as Montana recoils. The Prairie Dog Whisper turns around to a kick to the mid-section and a massive Snap Suplex. Newton swivels back to his feet, placing his now clean glasses back on his face. He mounts Montana, punching him square in the jaw, pulling his head up to each and every one of his powerful punches.]

“Ask him, referee!”

[The referee quickly leans in with a microphone, putting it to the lips of Chip Montana as he’s mounted by the Champion.]

“No!”

[Whack! Another right hand.]

“No!”

[Whack! Another right hand.]

“NO!”

[RIGHT! RIGHT! RIGHT! RIGHT!] [Newton angrily gets off, grabbing Chip by the head and pulling him to his feet. He turns him around, quickly getting him up and down with a German Suplex. The World Champion needs a little something more tonight and slides to the outside, going under the ring apron. There’s no rules in this one, folks!] [The Champ grabs a table, sliding it into the ring. He follows that up with a ladder, a kendo stick and a steel chair.] [This one is about to get dicey.] [Edward gets back into the ring and grabs the table, setting it up in the middle of the ring. Montana begins to stir, just as Newton picks up the Kendo stick. He gets back to his feet and Newton swings!] [MISSES!] [MONTANA DODGES!] [ANOTHER SWING!] [ANOTHER MISS!] [CHIP DUCKS IN CLOSE!] [BEAR HUG! BEAR HUG! BEAR HUG!] [He squeezes the life out of Newton who drops the Kendo stick, trying to fight out. Montana squeezes him hard, before releasing him, turning him and TIGER SUPLEX! HE GOT IT! The Prairie Dog Whisperer drops him hard on the back of his head and quickly gets back up, grabbing his legs.] [BOSTON CRAB!]

“Ask ‘im mate, ask ‘im!”

[With the move synched in tight, Newton screams and yells, reaching for the ropes but surely knowing there’s no break to be had. The referee drops to the ground with the microphone.]

“NEVER!” [Yells Edward between screams.] “Argh! Never!”

[He pulls himself to the ropes, using the them to drag his carcass off the ring apron to the floor and out of the grips of his opponent. Montana though doesn’t wait, he reaches through the middle rope and pulls Newton back up onto the ring apron. He locks in the Tiger Suplex position, surely not looking for another?] [NO!] [Edward headbutts him backwards, forcing a stumble.] [He quickly turns around and CATAPULTS HIMSELF THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE! SPEAR! SPEAR INTO CHIP MONTANA! WHAT A MOVE!] [The World Champion rolls away and gets back to his feet, holding his back. He helps Chip back up and turns him around into The Scorpion Death drop, only he doesn’t hit it! He lifts Montana up and over into a STUNNER! HOLY SHIT! NEWTON CALLS THAT THE RKO! THE RIDDLE KNOCK OUT!!] [There’s surely no coming back from that for Chip. However, Edward Newton isn’t finished. He grabs Chip and positions him next to the table…] [NEVERMIND THROUGH THE TABLE! NEVERMIND THROUGH THE TABLE! NOOOOOOOOOOO!] [NO!!] [Montana squirms out and in behind, RISKING IT ALL!] [BACKSTABBER!] [SEE YA LATER ALLIGATOR!] [STRAIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE HIMSELF! CHIP MONTANA PUT HIMSELF THROUGH A TABLE TO LAND THAT BACKSTABBER ON THE WORLD CHAMPION! IS IT ENOUGH!?]

“C-Crikey,” [Montana stammers.] “Ask ‘im will ya?”

[The referee quickly moves in.]

“No,” [Newton weakly replies.] “No!”

[The Prairie Dog Whisperer angrily pushes Edward off and gets back to his feet, holding his back. He clambered from the rubble of that table determined to end this match once and for all. He grabs the kendo stick and beckons for The Champion who slowly makes his way to his feet.] [MONTANA SWINGS!] [NEWTON GRABS THE KENDO STICK AND RIPS IT FROM HIS HANDS!] [HE DRIVES IT INTO HIS SKULL!] [AGAIN!] [MONTANA STUMBLES FORWARD AND NEWTON WRAPS THE KENDO STICK ACROSS HIS FACE AND PULLS HIM IN.] [KENDO NEVERMIND! KENDO NEVERMIND!] [STRAIGHT DOWN ON THE CANVAS, SNAPPING THE KENDO STICK IN FUCKING HALF!] [SUDDENLY, NICHOLAS MAMMON IS ON THE RING APRON!] [WHERE DID HE COME FROM!?] [NEWTON TURNS AROUND JUST AS HE ENTERS THE RING!] [KNEEDFUL THINGS! A RUNNING KNEE TO THE HEAD OF THE FUCKING CHAMPION! WHAT THE HELL!? MAMMON DROPS HIM HARD!] [Both men are down!] [Mammon exits the ring with a smile on his face and nonchalantly heads to the backstage. He’s currently scheduled to face Edward Newton at Ring of Dreams for the OSW World Championship and he’s made his statement early!] [Chip looks up and barely mumbles to the referee.]

“A… ask him,” [he says, his accent dropped for this one.] “Bloody ask him.”

[The referee drops by Edward Newton, thrusting the microphone in his face.]

“I Quit.”

[WHAT!?] [WHAT!?] [WHAT!?] [EDWARD NEWTON QUITS! THE OSW WORLD CHAMPION QUITS! HOLY FUCKING SHIT, HE’S BEEN DEFEATED! EDWARD NEWTON HAS BEEN DEFEATED!] [The referee though appears confused. He looks around to see Chip Montana sat there, a microphone in his hand. What the hell? Did he just pull a fast one? Did Chip just try and steal this match?] [Montana clears his throat.]

“Alroight mate? I’m just checkin’ to see if this here microphone is workin’, just in case that one don’t. Did the little bugger quit yet?”

[The official can’t believe it. He waves it off! The match isn’t over! Montana gets back up, microphone in hand and stalks the Champion. Edward slowly gets back to his feet and….] [MICROPHONE TO THE SKULL!] [NO! DROP TOE HOLD ON THE LADDER!] [Chip’s jaw bounces off the ladder and he pops back up to his feet, having his legs scooped out from underneath him!] [THE RIDDLE BOX!] [LIONTAMER! LIONTAMER! NEWTON HOLDS IT HIGH, HIS KNEE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF CHIP MONTANA!]

“Ask him!”

[The referee drops to his knees and Montana quickly yields through muffled breaths.]

“Crikey mate, get this blighter off me! I quit! I quit!”

[Newton holds it in for a few seconds more as the bell sounds, throwing Montana’s legs down to the canvas in a huff. He steps away from his opponent, being handed his Championship by the referee, his eyes a story of rage.] [Chip Montana tried to screw Edward Newton tonight and was almost successful. Nicholas Mammon wanted to throw him off his game and that almost worked too.] [How long does Newton have left?] [His card is marked.]

THE NEW CHURCH
[A dented and battered black Cadillac rushes down an old dirt road at breakneck pace. This is the car of D’Von Chambers, and the Reverend is in a rush to get back to the ruins of his Church, where Edward Newton has implied his congregation is assembled.] [D’Von’s eyes go wide from behind the wheel as he realizes Newton did not lie. There are rows of cars there, but that completely misses Chambers gaze. No, what he is focused on is the large black building erected where his Church used to stand. The car screeches to a halt and the rattled Reverend wastes no time for composure as he runs up to the large wooden doors to this building. Blemishes can be seen on the walls, strangely shining in the sunlight.] [Fresh paint.] [Chambers charges through the door, and finds himself in a large open room. Instead of the standard stained glass windows or altars, instead there is only the low hum of candlelight. Vials of liquid are displayed at the end of dark rows, each populated with people.] [Chambers’ congregation.] [D’Von walks up the red aisle, his eyes darting around as he now notices the green engraved symbols on the walls.] [The Sigil of Baphomet.] [His mouth agape, D’Von suddenly realizes the congregation is watching a large video projection. Images stream by of various symbols, of money rolling into coffers, and of D’Von himself walking through fire.] [The voice of Edward Newton narrates these images.]

“…in case it’s not as obvious as I find it to be, your dear Reverend did not act in service of God, but instead he was delivered from the fires by Lucifer.”

[Chambers roars and charges the screen.]

“The symbols you find around you are associated with the Church of Satan, the name given to the very same Lucifer in that Book you carry…”

[D’Von rips the screen down, but the projection of Newton now finds itself imposed over D’Von’s face as he turns around.]

“…but have never read.”

[As if on cue, Chambers congregation begins to stand up and filter out.]

“No…”

[D’Von’s voice seems to break as he watches this happen before him. He falls to his knees on the black altar, the Sigil of Baphomet raised behind him.]

“NEWT…”

[Static.]