Praise be to Kleen

In Mr. Kleen, Promo by Mr. Kleen

[Inside the supply closet of the Arcadian Censorship Authority building, Mr. Kleen is seen praying in front of a makeshift altar. We don’t get to see what’s on said altar, but the viewer is left to assume that it’s something, or someone, that means a lot to the janitor.]

“It’s thanks to you that I was able to break free from the shackles of the past and become who I am today.”

[The custodian doesn’t acknowledge the camera as it remains focused on him. Instead, he continues praying.]

“If you hadn’t arrived when you did, I’d still be wearing that disgusting yellow suit while working for a man that didn’t care if I lived or not. I owe you my eternal gratitude for that.”

[Beat.]

“However, just like you rescued me from the Kingdom, I find myself needing to rescue others from an uncaring leader as well. There are people out there spending seven credits a month to have their minds dirtied by a preacher claiming to know the way to salvation.”

[Kleen shakes his head.]

“His filthy lies have amassed him a large following of gullible slum dwellers that can’t tell a living pile of excrement from a sermon of an almighty being. Every week, this so called Lion of Zion spouts caca to his congregation and they eat it up like it’s ambrosia.”

[Another short pause.]

“As for those that don’t take in his gospel as truth? Well the gas he stole from a certain chemist will make sure that they accept it anyhow.”

[He growls at the mere mention of the gas.]

“I’ve seen the effects that concoction causes. It’s similar to that of mixing ammonia and bleach, but with the added effect of inducing psychosis. Why that preacher would want to induce such horrors upon people that never heard of these chemicals before is unfathomable.”

[He balls his hands together for a brief moment before unfolding them, going back to his prayer.]

“You wouldn’t stand for such horrid acts against Arcadians. If more people believed in you, they’d take a stand against Lionel and his cult of Zion before dismantling the very foundations of his church.”

[A third brief break.]

“Since the rest of the unwashed masses are too cowardly to take action, I alone will have to be enough to make your message heard. At NXT Level, I’ll wield my mop and cleaning supplies like a sword and shield, using them to clean Troy’s deceit and filth.”

[Kleen stands up and picks up his mop and cleaning supplies from off camera. As he does so, the camera does a one eighty to reveal just what the janitor was praying to; a picture of Sebastian Boswick.]

“Much like you saved me from a dirty end, I’ll save the followers of Zion from theirs by censoring his false teachings and giving them a cause worth believing in. No matter what happens, the Lion of Zion will fall and my hands will remain clean.”

[The janitor proceeds to walk out of the room. We cut to black as the door closes behind him.]