In Promo by Luke Storm

It’s tough to let go, isn’t it?

When I was growing up, I was given this blanket. It had all the big kid icons of my childhood plastered on it, and I loved that thing. It was always on my bed, and always protected me.

A reminder of a time when I didn’t worry about anything.

So when I moved off to college, I took my blanket with me. My roommates tolerated it, but every other person seemed to want to take the piss out of me for it.

In response, I made it into my whole personality. Maybe it was a defense mechanism? Either way, I tried living life that way, all because I knew that without that blanket, a part of myself I didn’t want to lose was going to be lost.


With that in mind, I have a hard time getting down on the Generation Kid.

Because instead of a blanket, he’s got himself wrapped up in a whole fucking decade, an ode to all its high points. He’s decked out in their gear, cribbed their catchphrases, and just uses it as a shield to protect himself against everyone.

I get it. It’s a shitty world, and the 80’s will always protect him.

But here’s the thing, Kid, and I’m saying this right to you.

When you burst into OSW, you’ve come to an institution of higher learning. The Rainbow Party may be cool with your little blanket, but everyone else sees it for what it is.

It’s your defense mechanism, your blanket that will always protect you. You made the 80’s your whole personality because it’s static. Those memories will never change, they’ll never be affected by the world around you. You’re clinging to something that you cannot dare to lose.

But that’s all it is, Kid. Memories.

Just like my blanket was just a tattered cloth with fun characters on it, the 80’s were nothing more than a neon light plastered over a pile of shit

The truth for us both is that the past we were clinging to was not real. We wrapped ourselves in a blanket so that we’d always be insulated from the real shit going on around us.

How often did we ignore that real shit? All we had to do was jump right back into that comforting presence and we were okay.

But you know what I had to learn, Kid?

I wasn’t okay. I was asleep to the truth.

My blanket wasn’t protecting me, it was blinding me. Same as yours.

And you’re not okay, either.

You’re in denial of the world around you. The world you live in doesn’t exist… it never existed.

My blanket was a thoughtless gift given to me by someone that didn’t give a shit about me, and the 80’s are no different: Mindless media created to be consumed and tossed away.

To distract us from the real shit.

But my blanket is off now. I woke up, and I see all the real shit.

Because I’m always real.

The Real fucking Deal.

And you, Kid…

You’ll always be asleep.