In Blacktooth, Promo by Blacktooth

“Never did like candy.”

“See, thing about sweets? They ain’t honest like a slab of meat is. With a hunk of flesh you know what you’re gettin’ when you sink your teeth into it. It’s filling, savory, and nutritious.”

“But candy? It lies right to your face. Take a chocolate bar for example. Smells nice, looks delicious, and when you let it hit your tongue with that sickening sweetness you think you’ve sunk your teeth into the perfect food.”

“Only candy ain’t all its cracked up to be.”

“Beneath the chocolate coating and sugary sweetness lies a disgusting, unhealthy, tooth rotting piece of food that once you’ve had enough will just leave ya fillin’ sick.”

“Every candy bar and lollipop is exactly the same. It suckers you in with its colorful packaging but once its past the gums you’re left with a lifetime of problems.”


“Stomach aches.”

“Every damn tooth in your head turnin’ to mush as the sugar eats away at the enamel. It ruins your kidneys, fucks up your liver.”

“And before for long? If you eat enough of it?”

“You die.”

“All the kids in Arcadia are just gatherin’ around the biggest candy bar in town. Those dumb little slices of veal don’t even realize that the man standin’ in front of them is about as good for them as the candy he shills.”

“Teddy wraps himself up all pretty in colorful clothin’ and childish wrappers to the point that even grown men in Arcadia don’t see him as anythin’ more than a wonderful little treat out here just to spread joy and happiness with the sweetness in his voice and the sugary fa├žade that he forces onto the public.”

“But we all know the truth, don’t we?”

“Beneath all of that, once you’ve really chomped down on ’em? Teddy’s not as wonderful as he wants you to think.”

“Drewitt would know, wouldn’t he?”

“Bringin’ that candy coated cunt anywhere near you is just gonna end with him doin’ his best to force his confections into your mouth until your teeth rot and your belly aches. He wants to leave everyone toothless and addicted to his sweetness. And if you die? Don’t matter to him, do it?”

“After all, anyone who takes a bite of his candy is just there to be used. Make him money, get his ingredients, do anything he wants all while you keep goin’ back for another bite of chocolate slop.”

“Sorry to say though, Teddy, but I ain’t one for sweets.”

“See, when we get between those ropes I don’t want the candy in your pockets or the sugar in your words.”

“I want the meat on your bones.”

“To tear the flesh from your body piece by piece until I’ve had my fill.”

“Because my teeth may be rotten, but I know what I’m sinkin’ my teeth into.”

“Now sit back and lemme see if you’re sweet as you pretend to be, or savory as everyone else.”

“It’s dinner time!”