Cleaning Shop

In Mr. Kleen, Promo by Mr. Kleen

[Mr. Kleen is seen cleaning his ‘office’ inside the ACA building. In his right hand is a trash can, which is full of objects that were picked up from other cubicles that the janitor deemed to be trash.]


[The custodial manager puts the trash can down and looks at the Mop of Justice incredulously.]

“What, all this junk? It’s mostly trash and items that go against office policy. The combined value of all this can’t exceed one credit.”

[The janitor scoffs before continuing.]

“If you think there’s some sort of antique in here, then you’re just as crazy as Albert Lamplight. He’s hoarding everything and anything while peddling things off to strangers as if they were antiques. I swear, he has so much filth in his store, you’d think a nursery of raccoons were hibernating in there.”


[Kleen raises an eyebrow at his mop.]

“Boy, Moppy, you really believe he’s living the high life, don’t you? Well I hate to break it to you, but Albert can’t get rid of that stuff any quicker than he collects it.”

[The custodial manager grabs the mop by the handle.]

“I don’t know why hoarders are so attached to their waste. They have to know that living in such dirty conditions isn’t healthy for them. Especially with all that dust and grime that accumulates with every bit of slop they pile on.”


[Kleen scoffs again as he dunks the mop into the bucket.]

“It might be a disorder, but they have to realize that they really don’t need all that stuff. Doubly so if it gets to Lamplight’s level. It was hard enough walking in that place, let alone finding a spot to springboard off of.”

[The janitor pulls the mop out and wipes the floor with it.]

“If he really thinks that anybody would want any of that crud he keeps in that shop, he’s more delusional than I thought. Like seriously, who in their right mind would want a half used pen?”


“My boss is still shaken up from that encounter with the Fairy Man. He probably thought that was his pen and was taking it back from Albert’s grimy mitts. Can you really blame him for being mistaken?”

[The Mop of Justice ‘nods’, causing Kleen to roll his eyes.]

“Look Moppy, it doesn’t matter what the chairman did. What matters is that Albert is pushing his rotting and disgusting garbage onto the populace and needs to be stopped.”

[He rests the mop against the wall before continuing to ramble to himself.]

“And I will stop him before his influence spreads throughout Arcadia. I’ve stopped the spread from reaching the ACA by picking up everything not considered equipment, I can definitely clean up anything not worth selling at his dingy store.”

[The janitor picks up the garbage can and opens a nearby trash chute.]

“I’m gonna throw out that broken bulb like the useless piece of trash he is. But no matter what happens in that ring, my hands will remain clean.”

[Kleen dumps the contents of the trash can as we fade to black.]