“I once knew this totally tubular dude.”
“He was the guy everyone liked. He was the coolest of the cool; like the Fonz!”
“Everyone wanted to be around him. Just being in his presence made you feel like the cool guy, too.”
“Then one day, he was unceremoniously struck by lightning. It was brutal, dude.”
“And something snapped in him.”
“This loveable guy that everyone wanted to befriend and be around, turned into someone you wouldn’t ever want to meet.”
“He began this incredible search to be struck again.”
“He would go out and do these insane and wild things, hoping that the lightning would once again strike him, just so he could feel it.”
“It was as if the feeling he felt the first time he was struck; the adrenaline, the power, the sheer pain of it all, was something he desperately wanted to encounter again.”
“Life had lost all meaning unless he had it.”
“And it changed him.”
“Not for the better, but for the worse.”
“At Red Snow when The Sandman killed your brother, you were struck by lightning, Mister. It was there you first felt the adrenaline, pain, and power of such an event.”
“It took away the man everyone knew and loved.”
“Because after that night, you were never the same, were you?”
“Ever since then, you’ve been searching high and low for another strike of lightning that’ll shake you to your core. You’ve joined Bad Mother Fuckers with Zero and Pyre, hoping that’ll do it.”
“You watched Albie Shaw get strung up in a noose just like my good friend Vigour, but that wasn’t enough.”
“You’ve battled through thick and thin with Jet Set Radio, surely believing that they’ll be able to do what The Sandman did to you at Red Snow, but to no avail.”
“Heck, Simon has poisoned you, but it wasn’t what you needed.”
“You even fought and joined forces with the monster who murdered your brother.”
“But no matter how hard you search; no matter how high or low you look; you can never quite find what you’re looking for.”
“That’s because they say that lightning doesn’t strike twice.”
“My friend had that problem.”
“When the storm came, he’d rush outside with a metal rod and demand the lightning hit him; he’d beg for it, just like you have been since The Sandman killed Edward Newton.”
“On Monday, you’ll find what you’ve been looking for, Mister.”
“They might say that lightning doesn’t strike twice.”
“But on Monday Night, you’re stepping into the ring with a right hand called lightning and a left hand called thunder.”
“And lightning will strike.”
“I just hope it gives you what you’ve been searching for.”
“Because a place like this could use a guy like who you used to be; not who you are.”
“That’s if you survive the storm.”