You Will Not Leave a Mess

In Mr. Kleen, Promo by Mr. Kleen

[Inside Mr. Kleen’s office before the Kingdom have stormed the ACA building, we see the custodial manager taking stock of his cleaning supplies. He judges which need replacing by picking each of the bottles and containers up and feeling how heavy they are.]

“A bunch of feral and filthy animals are banding together in an attempt to rescue one of their own. That being a snake we’ve been trying to domesticate and make obedient for the past month.”

[He sighs as he continues the check up.]

“They’re going to create chaos, I know that much. They’re going to scratch at the walls with their dirt and mud covered claws, leave what will be infected blood on the floors, and destroy our clean and working equipment in order to find their companion.”

[A brief pause.]

“When they find him, they’re going to try and teach us a lesson. They’re going to try and maul everyone involved in the slimy Python’s recruitment in order to get us to leave their Kingdom alone.”

[The janitor chuckles to himself.]

“They won’t succeed though. Not only are we well prepared for their arrival, we’re also well equipped to deal with attacks from such disgusting and unclean animals like them.”

[Satisfied with his examinations, Kleen goes over to pick up his mop.]

“The strength of a mange covered bear can’t compare to the raw power of Tucker Goode. The rage of a dirt covered panther and the bloodthirstiness of a shark that bathes in its own filth can’t compare to the uncontrollable anger of Pauline Marjorie Studebaker. The bravery of a foul falcon can’t compare to the determination and fortitude demonstrated by Sebastian Boswick.”

[The custodial manager proceeds to take his mop and cart along with him out of the office.]

“As for me? I’m armed with enough cleaning supplies and tools to turn even the slimiest, nastiest Yellow Python into a perfectly clean member of society.”

[He begins to head to the room where the aforementioned Yellow Python is kept.]

“You grime covered creatures are going to enter our domain, one that I’ve worked tirelessly to keep pristine and germ free for the entirety of my employment, and plan on ripping everything to shreds.”

[The janitor shakes his head.]

“You plan on covering the offices in droppings and disease. Worse yet, you want to leave decomposing bodies of my fellow coworkers for the maggots to feast upon.”

[Another beat.]

“I won’t let that happen. I’m going to sanitize every claw, feather, and fang that dares fly my way before wiping you off the floor like the stains of Arcadia you are.”

[He chuckles again.]

“Pests like the Kingdom won’t be able to mark their territory in our headquarters. Even if they could, they’d be censored and I’d make it so they never stained our offices with their tracks to begin with.”

[He approaches the door to the aforementioned room.]

“No matter what happens in the war between the ACA and the Kingdom, our hands and office will remain clean.”

[He opens it and heads inside as we fade to black.]