80’s: Emetophilia

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“You know, some people? They pay damn good money to get puked on.”

“Sounds gross, don’t it?”

“See, what most dudes might see as nasty, others see as absolutely decadent. Their partner’s stomach is filled to the brim with half digested, chunky, chewed up food that’s just swirling in there, begging to get poured out onto a waiting  sub with their mouth open to swallow up all of that bitter, disgusting bile.”

“To us, all they’re enjoying and jacking their dicks to is the regurgitated remains of something that used to be so delicious. What was once a tasty, well made meal is now a pile of stomach acid and bile for the poor, vomit addicted dude to touch himself to. If you ask them, they might even try to justify their fetish.”

“It gets his dick hard so it must have something to love about it, right?”


“Because while the enjoyers of Roman showers see liquid gold? People like Ether and I see it for what it is.”

“A big, disgusting, stinking pile of vomit.”

“The remains of a full meal past its expiration date that should’ve been left to digest.”

“Now, I didn’t just explain to you emetophilia. Nah, I also explained to you what I see when I look across the ring at Ash and his twink buddy TGK.”

“Because we all used to love the 80s, right? It had all those fun colors, every memorable movie of the last forty years seemed to come out of that decade! But as time goes on and we get to sit back and let those films digest, most of us get the chance to realize that the meal is done. We don’t need to gorge ourselves on it any more.”

“But those 80s guys just can’t let it go.”

“With every day they keep spitting up every overdone, regurgitated reference to their favorite decade. Letting their obsession slop out of their mouths onto each other, splattering the ring in their word vomit and making the world watch as they jerk off to the remains of meal from last night that was better off eaten.”

“At this point I should film it and put it online; Two Guys, One Decade.”

“But, instead of that, I’m just glad to say Ether and I finally have the chance to put a stop to you just like Hollywood should put a stop to every remake that gets shat out into theatres on a weekly basis.”

“Because we’re the new generation, dudes. Ether and I don’t focus on the way we stuffed ourselves on pizza last night and throw it up to see it again. Nah, we look forward to the future and everything we can do today.”

“You’re trapped in the past, and we’re skating towards a kickass new tomorrow.”

“So empty your stomachs, dudes. Get that nasty, overaged decade out of your systems.”

“Then kindly put your heads between our legs and kiss your wins goodbye.”