Alpha Male

In Promo, The Yellow Python by The Yellow Python

Nick Diamond: Now Yellow Python, what a return last week. Tell me, what are you planning next? Why are you here?

Yellow Python looks at him incredulously, taking the mic from him. 

Yellow Python: You wanna know why I’m here Nick Diamond? Because I can be. Because I want to be. Because I’m the Alpha Male, I’m the one running things around here!  “We’re the Uprising, We’re the Uprising” Ain’t no uprising going on around here. Only uprising that’s going to be hunting is the alpha male, that’s it! And I’m the only one there is. 

He points to Nick, getting more up in his face. 

Yellow Python: You think it’s a ring up there, but it’s not, it’s a hunting ground. MY hunting grounds. I didn’t come down here to hunt down no wide eyed animals, staring at my water hole. It’s not rabbit season! It’s not d-d-duck season! It’s open season, and I’m hunting humans. Don’t matter if they’re a scared little gazelle, a gangly giraffe, or a fat little pig with a porking problem. All of them fall under the weight of the Alpha Male! 

Nick Diamond: Even with the competition from the World Champion himself?


Yellow Python looks to Nick Diamond, who begins to cower in front of him. 


Yellow Python: Are you assuming a defense position Nick?


Nick: No, no!

Yellow Python: Are you trying to challenge the Alpha Male? Direct eye contact is a challenge!
Nick covers his eyes, continuing to hold the mike out while not looking at the mask.

Nick: I’m not, trust me!

Yellow Python swipes the mic, taking over the interview.

Yellow Python: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. You think I care about that big lumbering elephant, barely holding his britches up with his belt? He should have known that the Serengeti a dangerous place. Should have stayed home in the Underworld, revving up his little boat. It would have been safer ferrying the dead and signing papers with Igor Mortis than being in the hunting ground of the most dominant male on the planet. You’re just another name on the Alpha Male’s endangered species list.
Yellow Python: He’s nothing more than caribou to me. When he lumbers into my hunting grounds, and starts to feed, and you look up and think you heard something? It’s too late. Because the Alpha Male is already stalking you. 

Yellow Python: You think I’m playing games with you? You think this is a game? You step into my hunting grounds, and the same thing that happened to the ACA is going to happen to you. If you want to march down to my watering hole,  You will be grabbed by the jugular, shaken loose. Left laying, left dying on my hunting grounds. This is not a threat, this is a promise from the alpha male! You think there’s rules? There are no rules, it’s survival of the fittest, and Yellow Python is the only Alpha Male! 

Yellow Python: The last thing Tombstone’’s gonna see is the Pounce! Period!